What is the connection between identity and shame?
Humans hate feeling shame.
Most of us would do anything to avoid this feeling.
Including things that no longer serve us.
Why?
Because we cling on to a perceived "identity" in order to feel "adequate".
Threats to identity cause shame.
Avoiding shame brings us back to pain.
Accepting shame brings liberation.
#general
But what are the steps to accept the shame and live with it?
I really hate this feeling, and I'm yet to learn how to deal with it
This depends on the context, the reasons for shame, and the person, but generally, I would say it is important to ask yourself where the shame comes from and what about your identity it is not allowing you to accept. Perhaps it makes you not want to accept that you can be prideful or loud or slow or vulnerable (etc) and the key resides in allowing yourself to sometimes embody that trait. For example, in my own journey, I felt shame for asking for help - once I allowed myself to act against the shame and ask for help, I started noticing that being vulnerable and showing that to people was ok. Often times, our emotions need to see us acting in order to be convinced.
