Do you have respect for yourself? Here are some tried and tested methods to make sure you do.
Sep 15, 2021

Building self-compassion and respect for yourself is the most rewarding journey of your life, but it also takes work - which makes it so rewarding! When you know you have shown up for your growth and healing, you can’t help but feel empowered. You are taking charge of your own destiny! Nothing is more satisfying. This article is going to:

✔ change the way you think about your relationship with yourself

✔ explain what self-compassion is and why it is SO important

✔ give you 3 ways to practice self-compassion in your day-to-day

There are myriad reasons why we may feel underconfident, unempowered, or lack respect for ourselves. And at these times it is difficult to practice self-compassion; when we are caught in a self-deprecating loop, the last person we can freely be nice to is ourselves. Sound familiar?

When we feel under-confident, or have challenges with self-esteem, it can be difficult to experience joy in life. Things happen to us but we are busy in our heads, worrying about our problems. We can’t truly feel our experiences and appreciate life. Even when, on paper what we are doing is amazing, we can’t really feel it. We know we are supposed to be enjoying the awesome things that happen to us, but we can’t. We just can’t. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know the feeling. And at these times, the negativity in our minds makes it very difficult to change the story and start to feel good about ourselves. When the truth is, all we need to do is change our mindset and practice self-compassion, and our whole world will change for the better.

“It was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.”
~ Rupi Kaur

But don’t just trust me. Mountains of research testify to this fact, and underconfidence or low self-esteem is a common experience for humans across the world. Some people experience these feelings at intervals in their lives when dealing with stressful circumstances. Others feel them more consistently and as an intrinsic part of their life. But rest assured, if the latter is you, it most definitely does not define you. Speaking as someone who has experienced self-hatred, self-blame, and a huge lack of self-esteem, I promise you, you can feel happy and powerful. Yoga, meditation, affirmation, and journaling were the start of my journey - what will yours be?

Dr. Kristen Neff is a doctor of psychology who has been a trailblazer on this topic for 20 years. She has written multiple papers, books, and academic articles on self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as:

✔ having recognition of suffering

✔ feeling moved by suffering which thus elicits a heart-felt response of care or the desire to help

✔ a kind and understanding approach without judgement

✔ the wisdom to recognise that failure, imperfection and suffering are normal parts of shared human experience, and important to our growth.

Dr Neff states:

“Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”

Self-compassion can be expressed in many different ways. It can be taking a bath with your favourite salts, practicing yoga or mindfulness, taking a walk in nature, or setting boundaries and standing up for yourself. And so much more. Journaling is an exercise that will increase the quality of your learning and help absorb and integrate the checkpoints along your journey. This kind of self-study is invaluable. And a key part of yoga. In fact, yoga is so powerful because it encompasses all of these elements in its very essence, and helps you find your own path. Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self ~ the Bhagavad Gita

Remember that the power to do this work is in your hands alone. Sure, you can seek external support and advice, teachers, tools, and practices. In fact, finding the right ones will be central to your growth, but you are the person that makes it happen and invites this into your day-to-day life. You are the one who finds the strength to change within yourself and manifests this into action. You are the one who decides that you don’t want to feel like this anymore. So you change it. You will never look back.

You were born with everything you need to be content already inside of you. It is only our external environment that changes the way we think about ourselves and creates doubt. We are constantly told, from the day we are born, we should be better, cleverer, thinner, prettier…we are constantly told that we have to ‘fit a mould’ to be accepted. Well, what if we don’t? There is a wave of freedom emerging, where people are realising that contentment does not lie outside of us. The constant seeking for bigger, better, braver, bolder, and for attaining goals that only bring more desperation to fill a gap: this - is - not - life. Or it doesn’t have to be.

Life is knowing yourself and what you stand for, finding pleasure in a morning cup of tea, waking up excited for the day, noticing the way the petals of a flower fold so perfectly against each other, and yet each one completely different; an exquisite natural formation of unique elements, born that way, fulfilling its purpose just by existing, and perfectly imperfect. There is much wisdom in nature, as Albert Einstein said:

“ Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ”
~ Albert Einstein

Life is feeling a serene peace as a gentle summer breeze brushes your face and your breath softly guides your rhythm. In this way, we can be busy, successful, challenged, and troubled and still find peace in the subtle experiences of life. In the gentle ebb and flow of a body maintaining life so miraculously, yet so effortlessly, that we don’t even notice it most of the time.

Here are 3 ways you can bring more self-compassion into your life:

🌱 When you make a mistake, look for the positives or learning opportunities in the situation and remind yourself, you don't have to be perfect!
🌱 Practice self-care - be good to your body, eat healthy, take rest.
🌱 Mindfulness practice - learn to know yourself and the way your mind works, remembering most centrally, that you are not your thoughts.

Whether you are at the start of your journey in feeling joy through just being you, through finding epic pleasure in the most simple experiences of existence, or if you are having a difficult time and need to boost your vibes and bring your energy up again, then you are exactly where you need to be.

I promise it will be a beautiful and empowering ride.

With love and good vibes,

x Becky x

Leave your comments / questions for this practitioner

To write a comment please
Category filter
Concern filter
Type filter

All categories

Positive Psychology
$10 USD
Initial Video Consult

Explore the fit and hear how I would address your therapeutic goal

Alex Guthrie, LMFT
Positive Psychology
$1499 USD
Anger Management 12 week program

This is a group course lasting 6 weeks 2 hours a week plus home work for men and women between the ages of 30-50.

If you are always angry and not sure why this course is for you.

This course will enable you to identify what anger is.

What your triggers are.

How to cope with your triggers.

Learn some coping strategies that are easy to apply and quick to implement and more

So if you want a less angry life and to enable your loved ones to not feel scared of you any more.

This course is for you. It will be completed via zoom on a weekly basis - it can be individual or with others to build a support group for you (your choice upon booking)

Anna Scott
Positive Psychology
$120 USD
coaching session
Follow your Soul - it knows the way

Hi there lovely people!

If you are currently or generally feeling lost...lonesome...unbalanced and unhappy: contact me and see, feel, perceive...if you want to make use of my help - in order to re-connect with your beautiful Soul and that you are not suffering for too long and on your own, alone.

The moment you step out of your own castle and comfort zone - you're halfway there: in a more balanced, more peaceful, conscious and beautiful life.

Believe me: Much of your suffering is based and rooted in not knowing.
Which can be changed.

Senada Mesic

Related Articles

View All
Positive Psychology
Sep 17 2021
Why do I have negative thoughts? 5 ways to, compassionately, show them the back door

Negative thinking is very common and can greatly limit your potential.

Negative thoughts can become habitual, and over time can alter the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. They can develop into negative self-beliefs.

They are often the …

Rebecca Neusinger
Positive Psychology
Sep 17 2021
10 Common Negative Thought Patterns With Journal Exercises

Negative thought patterns are incredibly common. Most people experience negative thoughts at intervals in their lifetime in response to certain situations. This can be helpful or unhelpful, depending on the situation. For example, worrying has been linked…

Rebecca Neusinger
Positive Psychology
Jan 19 2023

The human mind is new when you first make an appearance into the world and your first teachers are your carers.

‘I had an extremely strict upbringing where punishment was given for anything that was disapproved of. This could be as simple as turning arou…

Natalie Mandy Bleau
Positive Psychology
Mar 28 2023
The Benefits of Kindness and Gratitude: The Secret to a Happy Life

We live in a world where many people believe that being kind and grateful is a sign of weakness.
They may criticize Millennials, who are often seen as being too sensitive.
While I agree that there is a limit to how sensitive we should be, and that we shou…

Iose Cocuzza, NC, CGP, BFRP
Registered individuals enjoy all the possibilities of Core Spirit.