Join me for a bespoke chakra meditation & pranayama session. The chakras can be considered energy centres in the subtle body. Each chakra governs different qualities, if any one of these energy centres is off-balance, it can mean we feel stuck, unsettled, low, lethargic, overwhelmed, overstimulated, misunderstood, burnt out... Essentially, if our chakras are unbalanced then it can mean we're not living our true potential or our truth. We can get stuck at certain areas and find it difficult to move on or embed tangible change.

Here is a very brief overview of the main chakras in yogic philosophy, if any of these resonate then perhaps you would like to focus your attention there. Our meditation and pranayama sessions can be focussed on one or two specific chakras, or alternatively, we can focus the session on clearing and purifying all seven energy centres. The session will be bespoke to you and your needs.

• Muladhara - the earth chakra. This governs safety, security, sense of self, feeling you have all your needs met. If this chakra is out of balance you may feel fearful, lethargic or unrooted.

• Svadhisthana - the sacral chakra. Governs emotions, creativity, sensuality. If this chakra is unbalanced you may feel overly sensitive, erratic, disconnected sexually and creatively.

• Manipura - solar plexus chakra. Governs motivation, confidence, drive, ego. An unbalanced Manipura chakra can express as an inflated ego, lack of motivation, inability to move forward with plans and goals.

• Annahata - heart chakra. This governs your ability to love and be loved, to forgive, have compassion, empathy and joy. If this chakra is imbalanced it can express as feeling closed, lonely, isolated, people-pleasing or feeling you don't belong.

• Vishuddha - throat chakra. Governs self-expression, confidence speaking your truth from the heart, clear communication. An imbalance here can express as lack of vocal confidence, lack of ability to listen, lack of honesty, over or under dominance in conversation.

• Ajna - third eye chakra. This is your centre of intuition, insight, wisdom and clarity. An imbalance in this chakra expresses as feeling lost or disconnected. An inability to look past problems and see the wood through the trees. Brain fog, disconnection to your intuition.

• Sahasrara - crown chakra. This is the place of higher knowledge, consciousness, awareness and peace. An imbalance in this energy centre is expressed as overwhelm, information overload, cynicism, spiritual disconnection or over-connection, apathy, illusions of grandeur, obsession.

A 30 minute assessment focussing on your anatomy to find the right alignment for you as an individual. The session will be structured, analysing key postures and breaking down any areas you want guidance with.

If you are interested in developing a meditation practice we can also work on this. We will work with the breath, encouraging energy flow through your body and encouraging mindfulness. This is your bespoke yoga 101 taster!

These sessions provide a healing space to check in with yourself, reflect, celebrate and grow. They will be bespoke to you and often focused on specific seasonal topics to truly enhance your experience of life in this moment.

Many of my students tell me they love the journaling but just don't know where to start with it alone. Here's your opportunity to have a guided journaling session to access that wild soul and ask the more important questions in life.

Journaling is a grounding practice that helps keep you aligned, loving yourself, and achieving your goals. There is such a deep satisfaction in seeing how far you have come, how much you have grown, how aligned is your journey, and the messages the universe constantly shares with you as hints and helps along the way.

In the Northern Hemisphere, winter solstice takes place on 21st December. This date has been celebrated by different traditions throughout history as a time to honour the darkness and welcome the coming of new light.

In pagan tradition, on the night of the solstice, people would light fires, drink hot, sweet liquor and tell stories of old. Their lives were largely spent outside endowing on them a deep reverence for nature, weather cyles, and the changing seasons.

This date is significant because it’s the point at which the earth’s poles are at their maximum distance from the sun, making winter solstice the shortest period of daylight and the longest night of the year. Following this date, the earth’s tilt slowly begins to turn back towards the sun, bringing with it lengthening days and the promise of spring.

Winter’s Gifts?

Winter can be long and cold. And even with the gradually lengthening days that winter solstice signifies, spring is often a weary while away as we move through the cold months of January and February. As organic creatures of the earth, our bodies and energies respond to environmental changes and seasonal transformation. The earth, its animals, and its flora and fauna are not alone in their processes of hibernation, the shedding of leaves, their dormancy, and stillness. Through these times, we humans too, transform. Following Halloween where the veils between the living and the dead are at their thinnest, a blanket of sweet darkness falls upon the world and invites a time of introspection and quiet.

You may find yourself more reflective during the winter months. More inclined to stay indoors, be cosy, warm, well-fed, well-slept, and rested.

You may also find yourself feeling tired, sluggish, lethargic. Your mood may change, with more tendency towards periods of depression, anxiety, low mood, and low energy.

But, perhaps it’s important to shed a new and softer light on these experiences?

*❄ That, rather than being inconvenient and tiresome, these feelings are normal and even more explicitly demonstrate how we humans are not at all separate from our natural environment.

❄ That darkness is needed for metamorphosis.

❄That nothing blooms without a period of incubation or dormancy. *

The cycles of death and rebirth happen at multiple phases throughout our lives as we move through the natural motions of growth, integration, and transformation. Rest is very much required before the rebirth of a new light, a new day, a new year, a new you.

We see these patterns of nature replicating themselves throughout our lives if we’re looking, and the messages that these beautiful moments provide can reassure us that this world, this earth, this life, this experience of life has a meaning, a purpose, and is constantly providing the opportunity to elevate our human existence to regenerate, renew, reawaken and evolve.

If we reconnect to our environment and the blessings of the earth’s wisdom, we learn that nothing ever stays the same, there is a constant cycle of life, death and rebirth that we can very much tap into for our own personal growth if we chose to.

Lets take a look at the biological rhythms of nature:

Circadian Rhythms are natural cycles that repeat every 24 hours in response to external stimuli such as light and dark. Circadian rhythms govern our sleep and wake cycle, as well as other functions such as hormone production, eating habits, and body temperature. When darkness descends, our eyes signal to the pineal gland to secrete more melatonin, telling our bodies it’s time for sleep. As light appears with the dawn, the brain reduces its melatonin production to give us energy and vitality for the day. If our circadian rhythms are out of balance, we can be more prone to health conditions such as depression or obesity (Booth, 2020).

This process occurs not only in humans but also in plants and animals. It’s helpful to look to nature to frame this concept in relation to the seasons. Animals sleep, eat and rest more in winter. Many go into hibernation until the light is longer in spring. Trees become ‘lifeless’ and cease to grow or bud, onions and garlic stay in bed in the soil over winter, dormantly preparing to produce delicious harvests in summer. Much of the natural world ‘dies back’ in winter only to bloom again brighter with tree blossom, spring lambs and abundant summer crops.

Dark hours are much longer in winter, in some locations, there is no light at all. Our bodies have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to chemically respond to light and darkness for our survival. It stands to reason that these biological processes play an important role, and perhaps we should allow our natural rhythms to guide us through life instead of the demands of commerce and industry? Just a thought…

Intentional Rest Where You Can

Although the prospect of lengthening days and the welcoming back of the sun is a warm and uplifting one, I invite you to harness the power of the current darkness and the energy of these short, more solitary days. Cherish it. It is equally important to life on earth to recognise the magic of these darker days and the gifts that they too bring us.

And if you're feeling a surge of creative energy and inspiration, this is common too! As we naturally slow down with the colder nights, we give our energies time to settle and find some space in the mind for inspiration and creativity. But, here’s a challenge to you - see if you can write down your insights and sit on it for a bit, allow them to develop, like a fetus in the womb, and trust that they will germinate in the most perfect way when the time is right and you are truly ready.

One of Buddha’s helpful metaphors goes a little like this:

Imagine your mind as a glass of water and sediment. If you are constantly stirring the water, the glass is murky and full of sediment so it’s impossible to see with any clarity. The Buddha invites us to stop stirring the water and mixing up the sediment, to take a step back and allow time for the dust to settle… leaving a crystal clear view.

It is in this stillness where insight, revelation, and inspiration fluidly occur.

In summary…

Darkness invites us to channel our energy and attention inward, to nurture, recharge, hibernate and gather resource. To truly honour this energy is an invitation into moments of quiet reflection, mindfulness, and being extra gentle with the self.

We can handle so much, us humans. We really are very resilient. But we have to work with compassion and care for ourselves in order to allow this. We know what we need, our bodies tell us all the time.

So if you're feeling the need for rest at the moment I very much encourage you to take the hint and make time for it. Even if it's just once a week, schedule it in.

You need this time to integrate, like a dormant phase before the rebirth, the quiet before the storm. For you to truly shine your light bright, it needs to charge up its batteries for the rest of the year.

We cannot have light without darkness, and nothing in this life is to be rejected or ignored if we see all experiences as teachers and opportunities to develop our consciousness and nurture our existence. As Albert Einstein once said:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein

When we talk about a healthy ecosystem, what comes to mind? Nature, flora, fauna, habitats, natural environments? Probably. But humans also, as biological entities interacting with our environment and energetic fields, are an ecosystem. A quick google search provides the following description of an ecosystem:

''An ecosystem is a community of living organisms in conjunction with the nonliving components of their environment, interacting as a system. These biotic and abiotic components are linked together through nutrient cycles and energy flows''.

The inner biome of our bodies is composed of microbes that we need in order to survive. Likewise, the microbes need the environment our bodies provide to survive.
Not only is it an ecosystem, it is a symbiotic ecosystem (Relman, 2013).

One can't exist without the other.

Recently, much research is emerging surrounding the way our gut health affects our mental health. However, information regarding this gut-brain axis is relatively new. As such, the ways we interact with our bodies in relation to our digestive habits are not always pro-healthy ecosystem. Especially given modern ideals around body image and a fast and processed food culture.

The body-mind connection

For thousands of years, practices such as yoga have honoured the body-mind connection. Today, scientific studies across the globe also verify the links between physical and mental health.

Happily, yoga is becoming a growing tool in healthcare, offering an intimate channel of learning as we explore the connections between how we feel, what we think, how we act, and how our bodies respond.

A central benefit of yoga practice is to empower individuals to learn about their own bodies and encourage:

• self-care

• self-healing

• self-regulation

Not to mention being an extremely affordable self-care resource.

From a body-mind standpoint, it stands to reason that what we ingest and how we relate to our bodies will impact our minds and vice versa. However, it is only recently that scientists have appreciated the extent to which, specifically, the gut and the brain, are connected. Study after study now demonstrate how a happy gut is closely linked to a happy mind.

So it's good to give our tummies some attention both in what we eat, but also in how we interact with our bodies psychologically and physically.

Yoga, as a holistic practice, is an absolute dreamboat for providing the framework to ensure we are taking care of our bodies, minds, and energies as one beautiful, integrated expression of life.

For me, yoga is very much about a healthy ecosystem - body, mind, and soul. We must treat ourselves with self-compassion, self-care and self-love. That goes for how we view and treat our bodies and the way we think. Negative thoughts affect the way we feel about ourselves. We are programmed to compare, to put ourselves down, to aspire to be a version of 'perfect' when, the joke is of course, that perfect doesn't exist. Nor should it. I can't think of anything worse than millions of little 'perfect' barbie clones repeating themselves monotonously around the earth. So before that actually happens (!), let's celebrate our differences and the differences of others.

When we learn to love our physiques, backgrounds and personalities, and personal quirks, just the way we are, we are more inclined to treat our bodies with care.
When our bodies are treated with care, we are more inclined to feel good about ourselves.
All components have to be working together to ensure a harmonious balance. When balanced, we find even the most simple things are joyful and life starts to run more smoothly. This lifts our spirits and increases our energy levels.

The bottom line is:

• If we don't take care of our gut, our mental health will be negatively affected.
• If we don't take care of our mental health, our gut will be negatively affected.

This then affects our self-esteem, confidence, and general vivacity for life. Think nausea when you're nervous, or butterflies when you're anxious or excited. Growing research suggests that IBS is also connected to this issue. It's a two-way street!

So first, let's look at the science.

Functions of the digestive system and its relationship to the brain

Stomach or digestive discomfort can be the cause or product of conditions such as:

• depression
• anxiety
• low mood
• excitement

This is because there is a direct link between the gut and the brain.

When experiencing stress, depression, or anxiety, the body responds by directing energy, blood, and resources to the brain and muscles. Stress also produces the hormone cortisol, which further directs energy away from the digestive tract.

We essentially go into a state of fight or flight as opposed to rest and digest conducive to efficient digestion. In the former stress state, the body averts functionality away from digestion to focus on more pressing survival needs. The problem is, this is not generally helpful when under stress in the modern world ( Atlas Biomed, 2021 ).

Some ways the gut can respond to psychological stress are:

• nausea
• stomach aches
• diarrhea
• change in appetite
• constipation
  (Foster, 2017).

How does the health of our gut affect our mood?

When the gut biome is inflamed or out of balance, signals are sent to the brain to help regulate the condition. This places stress on the microbiome by releasing chemicals and neurotransmitters which influence the functionality of the brain and can result in variances such as depression, anxiety, or low mood ( Clapp, 2017)

The vagus nerve provides an important link between our gut and our brain. The vagus nerve is a super interesting part of the autonomic nervous system and has both sensory and motor functions. It helps us breathe, digest, and swallow, as well as being partly responsible for decreasing the resting heart rate conducive to rest and digest. The vagus nerve helps regulate the connection between stomach health and mental health (Breit, 2018).

Yoga, mental and dietary health

So stress affects digestion. And digestive issues affect our mood and make us stressed! If not managed, it can be a real not-so-merry-go-round of psychological and physical discomfort.

There are ways we can alleviate both psychological stress and physical stress to encourage a healthy balance and maintain homeostasis.

Yoga

Yoga is widely recognised as helpful in regulating mental health imbalances and reducing stress. Breathwork (pranayama) practices calm the central nervous system by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. Movement (asana) brings the focus away from thoughts and into the physical body, this not only builds strength and flexibility in the body which translates to the mind, but it also brings a sense of presence. Presence helps us realise that right now, in this moment, we are ok. It reminds us that we can tap into this place of calm and peace inside us. Meditation brings clarity and headspace, again diverting from the 'monkey mind' toward tranquillity.

In relation to digestive health, yoga has multiple benefits. Asana can detoxify and promote health in our digestive organs through posture and breathwork. Furthermore, yoga is believed to improve circulation, reduce stress, and stimulate movement of the gastrointestinal tract (Healthline, 2021).

This 2021 study saw a marked improvement in constipation experienced by elderly people. A paper by Kavuri 2015 recommends yoga as a remedial therapy for diarrhea as a result of IBS. A further study that researched the application of body-mind therapies such as yoga in treating symptoms of IBS in young people found promising results.

Diet

Diet is of course up there in the healthy gut, healthy mind game. Yoga encourages us to eat a healthy, clean, plant-based diet. Its sister science, Ayurveda, is a renowned and widely adopted method of dietary health.
A diverse diet is key, the greater range of bacteria in your gut, the healthier the ecosystem. Each bacteria play a different role in the body so eating a varied diet is important for maintaining and preserving gut health.
A typical western diet lacks diversity and originates from a relatively small number of food sources. Furthermore, processed foods and consumables that travel vast distances to arrive in our supermarkets lack nutrients or contain additives and preservatives that can impact the microbiome (Miclotte, 2019)

Wholefoods, vegetables, legumes, beans, and fruit are high in fibre and nutrients whilst being low in saturated fats and refined sugars. Wholefoods are great because they contain non-digestible carbs which are processed in the large intestine and converted into healthy bacteria, increasing microbiome diversity.

Fibre is conducive to microbial health as it promotes Bifidobacteria which alleviates inflammation in the gut. Foods like apples, artichokes, blueberries, almonds, and pistachios are considered particularly beneficial.

Fermented foods, such as kombucha, kefir, sauerkraut, yoghurt are great for reproducing 'good bacteria' in the digestive tract.

Closing Thoughts

To maintain a healthy ecosystem and sense of overall wellbeing, confidence, and happiness, looking after your gut is paramount.

• Eat healthily and in moderation.
• Consume a wide range of nutrients by diversifying your diet.
• Avoid too many processed and fatty foods.
• Eat slowly and mindfully.
• Practice yoga and meditation to effectively digest and reduce stress by activating your parasympathetic nervous system.
• Look after your mind by checking your thought patterns and the way you relate to yourself and your self-image.
• Breathe deeply
• Practice self-compassion

You have much more control over your mental and physical health than you might think. If low mood, negative body image, and limiting self-talk is something you struggle with,it may be helpful to consider your diet and ways of sending yourself that little bit of extra love and care through practices such as yoga.

Namaste

When was the last time you were alone, still and quiet for longer than 5 minutes?

It’s interesting that we humans have lost permission to do nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing. Not a thing. Nothing at all except think and exist.

Ask yourself now, how does the idea of stillness and quiet make you feel?

❔ Like heaven? A blissful, rose-tinted unreality reserved only for monks and fairy tales?
❔ Or like your worst nightmare? At best, boring and uncomfortable, at worst intimidating and perhaps even, painful.

Modern life is jam-packed with stimulation. If it is not your friends and family, children, chores, pets, neighbours, or the high demands of your job that is distracting you, then it will be your phone, the TV, news, podcasts, music, exercise, alcohol, or education that keeps you constantly consumed by noise. Data, fake news, and noise.
I’m not saying that these pursuits are a bad thing, not at all, they can be wonderful aspects of life.

My question is:

❔ Do you leave any space for stillness?
❔ When was the last time you sat in silence, alone, with no book, phone, or companion, just to exist?

It’s Not Easy

It can be hard right? To sit with thoughts and feelings. Especially if this is not something you’re used to doing. It can be uncomfortable and even painful.

It’s not easy to sit with pain, but avoiding feelings doesn’t make them go away. It means they become internalised and will express in your life in other ways. Negative thoughts and emotions can manifest into depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and even physical illness.

Society is perfectly designed to keep you constantly preoccupied, including forms of escapism or avoidance. I don’t know about you, but when I watch TV for too long I feel restless and unfulfilled, but it is such an absorbing creation. It is purposefully addictive to enhance ratings and keep us watching for hours.

Drugs and alcohol are another perfect form of avoidance, they make us feel good and forget about discomfort. But only for a while.

We are expected to achieve all the time. Although a practicing mindfulness, wellbeing, and personal growth advocate, I still have times where I experience guilt if I am not doing something with my time. Even if it is just reading a book, writing, or cooking, I feel a need to be constantly productive. To sit in stillness with nothing to distract me can be a real stretch sometimes.

We fill our heads with noise. Most of the time.

It is interesting how normal it has become to be continuously stimulated. Interesting that, being alone is considered lonely and thus negative, doing nothing is considered lazy and unproductive, and being quiet is considered uninteresting, introverted, or boring. By what standards and whose rules are those statements true?

If we don’t take time to understand the thoughts and feelings that naturally occur in response to our experiences, then we become dependent on external support or vices.

Which makes me question:

❔ Why, has the race to the finish line become so competitive?
❔ What is it about being still and alone that signifies we are not living our lives?
❔ And what, are we actually gaining by being constantly stimulated, active, or glued to a screen?

I decided to explore the benefits of doing the opposite.

The Benefits of Stillness

The benefits of stillness are becoming more widely celebrated. And the more I give myself time to stop, the more productive I become. The pandemic has enforced changes that have led many people to reflect on how they spend their time. A step back from the rat race and no need to commute gives us more time to exist and enjoy this ride we call life.
To be present and maybe even, watch the world go by.

If this short sentence throws you into a state of panic, don’t worry, take some deep breaths, and read on. Watching the world go by, by no means, suggests wasting your life in idleness. I’m talking about giving your body and mind time to recalibrate. This invites contentment and time to reflect on what is actually important to you, but also allows you to be more effective, productive and potentially even extend the longevity of your life.

Let's explore the main benefits of stillness together:

Brain Wandering

Stillness and quiet from the buzz of life does not necessarily mean you need to have a still mind. There are of course, a wealth of benefits to meditation and the practice of mind control. However, more and more research demonstrates how the mind is supposed to wander too, and how this can be beneficial on multiple levels.
It is commonly believed that daydreaming is negative and pointless. But researchers are now seeing that letting the mind wander can be advantageous to brain health. Much like in rem sleep, our mind is able to roam the many libraries of information in our heads and sort them into orderly, digestible sections, subsections, and contexts. Anwar 2021, discusses how neuroscientists are finding that different patterns of thought have necessary functions conducive to regulation, stress management, creativity, and relaxation. Daydreaming is also seen to enhance problem-solving.

Very Well Mind explain:

‘What’s happening in your brain while daydreaming is pretty sophisticated. As your mind wanders, you are using diverse aspects of your brain . Both the executive problem-solving network as well as the creativity network in your brain are working simultaneously.’

So next time you find your mind on a tangent, allow it to drift for a while, you may find you inspire new focus, creativity, and stress relief.

Mental Health and Wellbeing

Growing research promotes the effects of stillness and quiet on mental health and positive behaviour.

In this study, a school psychologist introduced a program for school children aged 7–9 and found promising results. Children and teachers reported positive emotions and behaviour. Children reported feeling calm, relaxed, settled, and more equipped to appropriately deal with conflict.

It is now understood that, in order to effectively manage negative experiences and emotions, it’s helpful to look at them, give yourself time to understand the way your mind works and the reasons behind your thoughts, behaviours, and responses. If you experience negative thoughts, here are some exercises that will help you in this process of sitting with your thoughts as an effective method to manage your mental health.

Self Regulation

Being still and taking time out specifically for you means you can learn to self-regulate. This builds resilience and is empowering. There are so many opinions and perspectives out there, so much advice that sometimes it’s hard to know what feels constructive and rational for you as an individual.

Stepping away from the noise allows time to listen to yourself and what is true for you. It allows you to learn to self-regulate, build self-worth and avoid comparison. This removes you from the overhanging constant fight for success and competition and provides an avenue to understand your own healing, putting control to self-regulate in your own hands.

Rest and digest

I talk about it a lot because it is central to health and wellbeing. Your body needs rest to function properly. If you are constantly on the go and under pressure, you live from the fight or flight stress response where your sympathetic nervous system is doing all the work to keep you functioning and alert. This basically means, other healing functions back off. Even taking 15 minutes a day to be still and removed from constant stimulus, means you can tap into rest and digest mode, the parasympathetic nervous system, to encourage homeostasis, healthy digestion, and healing. To learn more about how digestion is directly linked to mental health, read on here.

Increased productivity

It may sound counterintuitive, but taking time out can increase long term productivity. When overloaded by information and stimuli your mental, emotional, and energetic channels become exhausted. We’ve all heard of burn out right? If you never give yourself time to stop and rest, you’re more likely to reach overwhelm which impacts productivity. Feeling frazzled or unable to focus is detrimental to productivity. Taking at least 15 minutes each day to be still allows the mind to process, focus, re-evaluate and refresh for optimum productivity. It’s no coincidence that many corporations are now encouraging mindfulness practices for employees.

Stillness & Grief: My Learning Curve Into The Power of Stillness

The biggest teaching in stillness I have received to date happened recently when a close family member took their own life. It brought me to my knees. It’s tragic, but it also taught me a lot. And the primary experience through this period?

I couldn’t,
move,
a muscle.

I was sucked into involuntary stillness which I now understand as fundamental to my healing. Anyone else who has dealt with the loss of a loved one may have had a similar experience. We all deal with grief differently, but I retrospectively feel blessed that my instincts intuitively took me to stillness.

That said, my mind played tricks on me to start with, trying to insist that it was not a big deal and I shouldn’t feel or be particularly affected. How crazy is that? I am so conditioned, that even at the loss of a close friend and family member, I tried to convince myself I was weak to feel the impact of this loss. That I should buck up and get on with it. That worse things happen.
As if I am a machine without the rich and untold layers of human emotional and energetic response mechanisms. This has a lot to do with living in a society that expects people to just keep cool and carry on for the sake of the economy.

But this time, I found myself in a situation where I just couldn’t move. There was no point trying to fight it. I had no option but to surrender. My energy was so low I had to lie down, pretty much, for a week. I would lie completely still for a whole day then get up to teach a yoga class, then back to stillness. This was my energy processing grief through my body and a profound teaching in surrender. It allowed me to process the trauma, and ultimately get back on my feet to continue to share my work with the world.

I also had time to reflect on what is important, I was able to put things into perspective. One thing I am certain of, my family member did not give himself a moment to stop, breathe and be. Any time he was not rushing around being stressed and busy, he was drinking or glued to a screen.

This experience reinforced for me the importance and point of stillness, but this is certainly not to say that something tragic and deeply moving needs to happen for stillness to be practiced.

We have already seen how 15 minutes of stillness and quiet a day, no devices, no people, no nothing except you, your body, your thoughts, and your space, can be highly rewarding and prepare you to better deal with the pressures and unpredictability of life.

Final Thoughts

Modern life is demanding, amongst the need to constantly earn, perform and maintain a comfortable lifestyle, there is little time or permission to stop and listen. Humans have lost sight of the importance of closing the door to the outside world and letting ourselves and our energies restore in a completely unique and personal space.

However, we are in a position now, as the world is rapidly changing around us, to question the norms that define our behaviour and instead, start to build positive and supportive practices as a framework for inner strength, personal growth, and radical surrender.

With all the negative connotations around stillness, and the emphasis on productivity and achievement, it is no wonder mental and physical health is at an all-time low. With stress-induced diseases, mental health issues, and suicide on a fast upward trajectory, perhaps it’s time you took some time to be still and let your brain and body process.

Taking time out to be still may be considered a luxury, but if you are in a position to do it, then take advantage of that privilege and use it to build inner reliance, self-regulation, and strength to share your energy with a stressed-out world.

Negative thought patterns are incredibly common. Most people experience negative thoughts at intervals in their lifetime in response to certain situations. This can be helpful or unhelpful, depending on the situation. For example, worrying has been linked to problem solving, finding solutions and alerting us to danger (Watkins, 2008).

However, for many, negative thoughts can become engrained ways of thinking, determining how a person feels about themselves and how they experience life. This can lead to low self-worth, depression, anxiety and other mental health variances.

Interest in negative thought processes dates back to ancient philosophy, one Greek philosopher Epictetus noting:

“It is not things themselves that disturb men, but their judgments about these things.”

In more recent years, founder of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and psychiatrist Aaron Beck, identified certain patterns to negative thinking and termed these ‘cognitive distortions’. Here’s a list of the most common cognitive distortions.

Common ways negative thinking patterns can express themselves:

1. All or nothing thinking

Also known as black and white thinking it is a tendency toward extremes.. Everything is either good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure.

‘I messed up this interview so I am a failure’

Whereas life is full of grey areas and finding a balanced place of moderation between two extremes is generally recognised to be the place contentment is found.

2. Shoulds and Musts

Using ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ sets unrealistic expectations and places undue pressure on ourselves.

‘I should be able to cope with this, I used to be able to’.

‘I must pass this exam or I don’t know what I’ll do’.

There is no should or must. Things are what they are. A healthier way to respond to these scenarios would be:

‘I am going through a lot at the moment, I am doing the best I can’

‘I will work hard toward this exam and whatever the outcome, I know I tried’.

3. Mental Filter

Only focussing on the negative aspects of a situation. Although things might be going really well, you are only able to focus on the negative aspects, whilst filtering out or diluting any positives.

Friend: ‘Wow you look so nice today’

Response: ‘Oh this old thing, it’s tatty and I’m tired’.

A simple thank you is not only respectful to you, but also to the person giving the compliment, rather than disregarding their opinion.

4. Jumping to conclusions

Assuming we know what others are thinking or what will happen, without any evidence to support it.

‘My manager has asked me into the office, I think I’m getting the sack’

This can include interpreting someone’s actions based on what you think they are thinking, and drawing the conclusion that they don’t like you or are angry with you.

5. Compare and despair

Seeing only positive aspects in others, whilst comparing yourself with a very negative personal view.

‘This person is younger than me and so confident and accomplished, whereas I’m not good at anything’

This way of thinking doesn’t consider the many variations of personality and individual experience, that nobody has everything, but everybody has something.

6. Predicting the future

Believing you know what is going to happen before it happens.

‘If I go to the party, no one will talk to me’

7. Magnification (catastrophising) or minimisation

Imagining and believing the worst thing is going to happen in any situation, or minimising achievements or any positive aspects in a situation.

Magnification: ‘If I lose my job I’ll lose everything and then I’ll be homeless’.

Minimisation: ‘I got a reward for my work but I’m really not that good at what I do, the reward is no big deal.’

8. Emotional Reasoning

Believing that what you are feeling must be true. Relying on your ‘gut feeling’ over any objective evidence.

‘I feel nervous about this flight which means it’s probably going to crash’.

9. Self critical thoughts

Putting yourself down and criticizing everything you do.

‘I’m so rubbish at this, I’m a loser’

10. Personalisation and blame

Holding yourself responsible for everything and blaming yourself, or others, without any logical reason. This involves taking everything personally, or blaming others for everything whilst overlooking your own role in the situation.

‘That person seems irritated and it must be my fault’

‘I’m unhappy in my relationship, it’s my partners fault’

Do any of these sound familiar? These cognitive distortions are very common. You will likely associate with one or some more than others.

Here are 5 ways to manage your negative thoughts in a healthy way, and to work toward embedding some new, more positive perspectives.

Exercises to manage and appease your negative self-talk

1. Identify your self-talk! Becoming aware of the way you speak to yourself, and how often! Is the first step.

Write down the common things you say to yourself. It can be helpful to think of different situations in your life and how you generally respond.

2. Recognise the patterns!

Go through the list above of negative thought patterns and see if there is a theme with your own self-talk. Remember, you may identify with a few of them, but you may also notice you identify with some more than others.

3. Challenge your thinking!

Look at each thought and ask yourself, is this true? What tangible evidence is there? Or is this just what I think is true? Could I think about this a different way?

4. Compassionate self-talk

As yourself, would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? We are often extremely negative and often abusive .

Write a love letter to yourself, imagine you are sending it to a friend or loved one, but make it about you.

5. Engage in mindfulness practices, yoga or meditation

I say this because it hands down worked for me and it works for my students!

I hope you have found this article helpful. You can find out more about negative thoughts and how and why you might be experiencing them in my other article, 'Why do I have negative thoughts? 5 ways to, compassionately, show them the back door'.

Go check it out and let me know how you get on with the exercises. Have a great day,

Becky

Negative thinking is very common and can greatly limit your potential.

Negative thoughts can become habitual, and over time can alter the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. They can develop into negative self-beliefs.

They are often the cause or effect of low self-worth, depression, or anxiety.

They may sound a bit like this:

‘I’m stupid’

‘Why am I so clumsy’

I’m ugly’

‘I’m not clever enough’

‘I never do anything right’

‘I’m a loser’

‘I hate myself’

‘Everything I touch breaks’

Negative thoughts can determine our experiences. They reaffirm themselves through directing our behaviour. However, they do not define us. Our thoughts do not represent who we are, they are just thoughts. They come and go. They can be positive, or negative, it is the way we respond to them that determines how we experience life.

This article is going to:

✔ Define what negative thoughts are and how they reproduce themselves

✔ Explain the science behind why we experience negative thoughts

✔ Provide exercises to help identify and manage your negative thought patterns

A word on how yoga can help.

Our bodies are our most grounding gift. Yoga encompasses many things! Including mindful movement (asana), breathwork (pranayama), and meditation (dhyana). These practices encourage us to recognise our habitual thinking patterns - which we may well be unconscious of - and realise that our thoughts do not define who we are. They are like passing clouds against a clear and limitless sky. We can observe them as they pass and accept them for what they are, without being moved by their meaning. Because often the meaning is neither true nor helpful.

By accepting negative thoughts for what they are, just thoughts, we allow them to be seen, without placing any further negativity upon them. With practice, we can embed more helpful thinking patterns.

The way you think determines your experiences in life. You can choose to experience joy and contentment.

• Why do we experience negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts are not always a bad thing. Our brains are programmed to have negative thoughts to allow us to discern between something that is safe or harmful, or to question the things we experience (Watkins, 2008). The brain is wired up to create connections between thoughts, experiences, actions, and behaviours. However, sometimes links develop that are not based on what is real or true.

For this reason, habitual thought patterns easily develop which can limit potential and grow into more serious mental health variances such as low self-worth, depression, or anxiety.

We are not necessarily taught this, but we have tools to manage our own mental health already inbuilt.

*So how do we work with negative thoughts in a way that is constructive and ultimately change the way we think? *

The key is first to recognise our personal thought patterns and tendencies, then challenge the thoughts, and finally create new, evidence-based thoughts to replace the old, automatic thought response. There are five useful exercises at the end of this article to help break this down into easily manageable chunks.

To determine whether the thoughts you are having are negative, head to my article '10 Common Negative Thought Patterns With Journal Exercises' for a list of common experiences.

*What does this mean? *
That you can change the way you think about yourself. If you have very negative thoughts about yourself or other people, you can change them! And when you do, your life and how you experience the world will change for the better. You are able to realise your full potential.

The Science
It is helpful to think about negative thoughts as pathways in the brain, they start as a faint track, then the more we ‘go down that route’, the more we think a negative thought, the deeper the track becomes, until it is a deeply embedded road. At this point, it’s difficult to cover that road up or choose another. Negative thoughts lead to negative beliefs as a result of these deeply ingrained pathways that become ‘what we know’ about ourselves.

Neuroplasticity

Cells and neural networks in the brain have the capacity to change. Some functions are hardwired, however, others aren’t. Over time, new connections, or pathways, can be made, and others lessened or eliminated.

As described by Joyce Shaffer:

‘Neuroplasticity, the capacity of brain cells to change in response to intrinsic and extrinsic factors, can have negative or positive influence at any age across the entire lifespan’.

Neuroplasticity demonstrates how we can change ‘what we know’, even at the most fundamental, biological level, just by thinking differently.

Here’s an example of different ways we can interpret a situation. As you will see, negative thoughts can determine how we respond, however, there are many other ways of experiencing a situation that are more likely to be true.

Example 1.

Example of a reaction when having done a presentation (on social media, in job, university etc.)

Ø Negative attitude

‘’I got that wrong, I said the wrong thing, I wasn’t concise enough, I stumbled over my words, what will people think?’’

Ø Positive attitude

‘’I’m really proud of myself for doing that, it was courageous, not everyone would do that, it might not have been perfect, but nothing is perfect and nor should it be. I stepped out of my comfort zone and followed through, that’s impressive’’

These two different responses to the same situation will result in an entirely different experience, and ultimately, a different self-image. Take a moment to ask yourself, which response is most familiar to you?

It’s ok to make mistakes
Mistakes are a natural part of life. They happen to everyone and they don’t have any bearing on our self-worth. This, for me, was another bombshell.

‘What so, I don’t have to be perfect at everything first time???’

In her book, Valerie Young explains that women are much more likely to take a negative situation, mistake or criticism personally than men. This is not due to any difference in ability or competence, but purely to do with how men and women are socialised. Men are more likely to take risks and make more mistakes. They don’t associate failure with their own personal worth. They are more likely to blame external factors than themselves.

Conversely, women are more likely to internalise a failure and blame themselves. This is mostly down to the way women have to prove themselves more to be accepted on the same bar as a man. They are held to higher criticism and as soon as they make a mistake, boom, it is because they are a woman, rather than the reality, of course, that is because they are a human. And all humans make mistakes. We are supposed to, it is a part of our growth. Men are accepted without having to prove themselves, so they do not fear making a mistake as it will affect how they are received much less than for women.

My Story

Until about 8 years ago, negative thought patterns ruled my world. The most intriguing thing is, I didn’t realise it.

I never completed anything, I underachieved, I experienced social anxiety, I found it difficult to integrate, I never tried anything new - so I never proved to myself that I could. The only thing I was comfortable doing was partying. And you can imagine why; drugs and alcohol are a top form of escapism. Partying was fun and it made me feel good about myself, it was such a sense of freedom and abandonment. For a night…but the party always ends.

The key point is, that I didn't realise I was experiencing negative thoughts. I thought my thoughts were accurate reflections of myself and my life.

And why would I? I was never taught that my thoughts don’t define who I am. I was never taught that negative thought patterns are learned cognitive processes. I never knew that, if I thought in a different way, I would experience life completely differently.

The moment I realised this, my life started to change for the better. It did not happen overnight, it took work and dedication. But it is a profoundly satisfying journey and I am now a million miles away from the person I was then.

And you can be too.

Why do I care?
The reason I care about this subject is to encourage positive change in the world. Negative thought patterns limit people from feeling loved, accepted, accomplished, and integrated. It can create division, comparison, and ultimately hatred. This is then reproduced in the world. Here’s how:

Your life will reflect how you speak to yourself

Negative thoughts and beliefs are tricksy! They self-perpetuate in the present because they affect our behaviours and how we interpret situations.

It is easy to get caught in a cycle where we think and act in a way that is consistent with that negative belief.

If our thought patterns are negative, it is likely that we will behave in a way that is conducive to that thought pattern, which regenerates the negative thought. This can lead to negative self-beliefs, low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety which likely lead to more negative thoughts and negative self-talk (Yavuzer, 2015).

Here’s an example:

** Example 2.**

Ø Belief/thought:

‘I must not make mistakes, I’ll look stupid and people won’t like me’

Ø Behaviour:

Being very careful, not putting self in situations where we might get it wrong, checking things over a lot

Ø Result:

Negative belief never gets proven wrong.

The cycle starts again.

Ø It is only in taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zone that we realise our potential, what we are capable of. And that screwing up is an important part of learning and growing.

This self-perpetuating cycle is very difficult to get out of. I can vouch for that. I’ve been there. And it was only when I started to understand the mechanisms behind my cognitive processes that I realised that what I thought, wasn’t necessarily true. The ideas I had about myself didn’t reflect me as a person, which meant...

• that maybe there was more to me than my thoughts had me believe.

I started practicing mindfulness, meditating for just 10 minutes a day, by counting to ten over and over. I began attending yoga classes regularly and as I built strength and flexibility in the body, so too my mind followed suit. I did things outside my comfort zone. I joined aerial classes which I would never have done before because I was too shy or afraid of ‘being rubbish’.

What I learned was, actually, I’m not rubbish at all. But how would I have known that if I had never tried?

How negative thoughts and beliefs develop

Negative thoughts and beliefs can stem from things we have seen or heard, often in childhood. At this stage, we are less able to effectively process the information we receive. Even seemingly minor experiences or things people say can log into our subconscious and develop into a negative thought or negative self-belief.

For example, imagine you are in a school play and you mess up your lines, you only have one line to say and you stumble over your words.

This might make you think you are useless or incapable. You do not, at this young age, have the perspective to know that it is a normal response of nervousness, that it has no reflection on your self-worth, and it’s really not a big deal. Instead, it is highly likely that 7 year old you feels like it is the single most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened and that all eyes are on you.

Then, on top of that, imagine you have a parent that exacerbates your shame by telling you off or teasing you for getting it wrong. Little 7 year old you is unable to understand that the reason a parent or friend might behave that way is not because of anything you have done, but much more about their own unresolved trauma or programmed responses.

Yes, negative thoughts and beliefs can develop in adulthood too. And over the years, the faint pathways grow into mighty roads that direct our behaviours and responses. These can get projected out onto others, often unintentionally, which then become internalised by the receiver, developing into negative thoughts or negative self-beliefs. The cycle spreads like wildfire.

Negative thoughts are largely subconscious. We don’t always know we are experiencing them, or that our behaviours are damaging - not only to ourselves, but also to the people around us.

What we can do to stop the cycle?

Here are 5 exercises you can do to help identify and manage your negative thoughts in a healthy and constructive way:

1. Identify your self-talk! Becoming aware of the way you speak to yourself, and how often is the first step.

Write down the common things you say to yourself. It can be helpful to think of different situations in your life and how you generally respond.

2. Recognise the patterns!

Go through the list of negative thought patterns in my article '10 Common Negative Thought Patterns With Journal Exercises' and see if there is a theme with your own self-talk. Remember, you may identify with a few of them, but you may also notice you identify with some more than others.

3. Challenge your thinking!

Look at each thought and ask yourself, is this true? What tangible evidence is there? Or is this just what I think is true? Could I think about this a different way?

4. Compassionate self-talk

Ask yourself, would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? We are often extremely negative and often abusive .

Write a love letter to yourself, imagine you are sending it to a friend or loved one, but make it about you.

5. Engage in mindfulness practices, yoga, or meditation

I say this because it hands down worked for me and it works for my students!

Give these a go and let me know how you get on. I am here for you.

With love and vibes,

Becky

Building self-compassion and respect for yourself is the most rewarding journey of your life, but it also takes work - which makes it so rewarding! When you know you have shown up for your growth and healing, you can’t help but feel empowered. You are taking charge of your own destiny! Nothing is more satisfying. This article is going to:

✔ change the way you think about your relationship with yourself

✔ explain what self-compassion is and why it is SO important

✔ give you 3 ways to practice self-compassion in your day-to-day

There are myriad reasons why we may feel underconfident, unempowered, or lack respect for ourselves. And at these times it is difficult to practice self-compassion; when we are caught in a self-deprecating loop, the last person we can freely be nice to is ourselves. Sound familiar?

When we feel under-confident, or have challenges with self-esteem, it can be difficult to experience joy in life. Things happen to us but we are busy in our heads, worrying about our problems. We can’t truly feel our experiences and appreciate life. Even when, on paper what we are doing is amazing, we can’t really feel it. We know we are supposed to be enjoying the awesome things that happen to us, but we can’t. We just can’t. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know the feeling. And at these times, the negativity in our minds makes it very difficult to change the story and start to feel good about ourselves. When the truth is, all we need to do is change our mindset and practice self-compassion, and our whole world will change for the better.

“It was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.”
~ Rupi Kaur

But don’t just trust me. Mountains of research testify to this fact, and underconfidence or low self-esteem is a common experience for humans across the world. Some people experience these feelings at intervals in their lives when dealing with stressful circumstances. Others feel them more consistently and as an intrinsic part of their life. But rest assured, if the latter is you, it most definitely does not define you. Speaking as someone who has experienced self-hatred, self-blame, and a huge lack of self-esteem, I promise you, you can feel happy and powerful. Yoga, meditation, affirmation, and journaling were the start of my journey - what will yours be?

Dr. Kristen Neff is a doctor of psychology who has been a trailblazer on this topic for 20 years. She has written multiple papers, books, and academic articles on self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as:

✔ having recognition of suffering

✔ feeling moved by suffering which thus elicits a heart-felt response of care or the desire to help

✔ a kind and understanding approach without judgement

✔ the wisdom to recognise that failure, imperfection and suffering are normal parts of shared human experience, and important to our growth.

Dr Neff states:

“Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”

Self-compassion can be expressed in many different ways. It can be taking a bath with your favourite salts, practicing yoga or mindfulness, taking a walk in nature, or setting boundaries and standing up for yourself. And so much more. Journaling is an exercise that will increase the quality of your learning and help absorb and integrate the checkpoints along your journey. This kind of self-study is invaluable. And a key part of yoga. In fact, yoga is so powerful because it encompasses all of these elements in its very essence, and helps you find your own path. Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self ~ the Bhagavad Gita

Remember that the power to do this work is in your hands alone. Sure, you can seek external support and advice, teachers, tools, and practices. In fact, finding the right ones will be central to your growth, but you are the person that makes it happen and invites this into your day-to-day life. You are the one who finds the strength to change within yourself and manifests this into action. You are the one who decides that you don’t want to feel like this anymore. So you change it. You will never look back.

You were born with everything you need to be content already inside of you. It is only our external environment that changes the way we think about ourselves and creates doubt. We are constantly told, from the day we are born, we should be better, cleverer, thinner, prettier…we are constantly told that we have to ‘fit a mould’ to be accepted. Well, what if we don’t? There is a wave of freedom emerging, where people are realising that contentment does not lie outside of us. The constant seeking for bigger, better, braver, bolder, and for attaining goals that only bring more desperation to fill a gap: this - is - not - life. Or it doesn’t have to be.

Life is knowing yourself and what you stand for, finding pleasure in a morning cup of tea, waking up excited for the day, noticing the way the petals of a flower fold so perfectly against each other, and yet each one completely different; an exquisite natural formation of unique elements, born that way, fulfilling its purpose just by existing, and perfectly imperfect. There is much wisdom in nature, as Albert Einstein said:

“ Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ”
~ Albert Einstein

Life is feeling a serene peace as a gentle summer breeze brushes your face and your breath softly guides your rhythm. In this way, we can be busy, successful, challenged, and troubled and still find peace in the subtle experiences of life. In the gentle ebb and flow of a body maintaining life so miraculously, yet so effortlessly, that we don’t even notice it most of the time.

Here are 3 ways you can bring more self-compassion into your life:

🌱 When you make a mistake, look for the positives or learning opportunities in the situation and remind yourself, you don't have to be perfect!
🌱 Practice self-care - be good to your body, eat healthy, take rest.
🌱 Mindfulness practice - learn to know yourself and the way your mind works, remembering most centrally, that you are not your thoughts.

Whether you are at the start of your journey in feeling joy through just being you, through finding epic pleasure in the most simple experiences of existence, or if you are having a difficult time and need to boost your vibes and bring your energy up again, then you are exactly where you need to be.

I promise it will be a beautiful and empowering ride.

With love and good vibes,

x Becky x