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Mindset Meeting

Presence
Online
Format
coaching session
Duration
30m
Language
English
Price
$10 USD
Practitioner
$10 USD

Work towards improving emotional intelligence and stress management with a Certified Life Coach.

Learn to take back control of your emotions to achieve your potential. Don't let your emotions control you.

Achieve beyond your expectations!

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Norwich, UK

Since graduating in psychology, I have delivered Cognitive Behaviour Therapy based programmes to a diverse clientele in groups and one to one. These programmes involve, but are not limited to, improving thinking skills, building better relationships, dealing with trauma, identity, alcohol and drug education, making informed choices and improving emotional wellbeing.

On Core Spirit since May 2021

Certificates

Chloe Mepham
The Differences Between Deep Breathing, Mindfulness, and Meditation

Does anxiety interfere with your ability to perform? Do you suffer from stress? How does this affect your performance, both professionally and personally?

Although there are many crossovers in the implementation and benefits of mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing, they are different principles. So, how do you know which to try?

All three practices are linked. In order to practice mindfulness and meditation, you benefit from deep breathwork for an extended period. If you want to practice meditation, you benefit from being mindful.

Generally, meditation is a scheduled seated practice where you aim to clear your mind to reduce stress and promote inner peace. There are various forms of meditation, including mindful meditations.

Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere at any time, doing practically anything. This involves focusing on the present moment in detail. It also serves to reduce stress and promote inner peace among other benefits.

Deep breathwork is the foundation for mindfulness and meditation. It is typically how a meditation would start. However, breathwork can also be used to bring awareness of the breath into the conscious mind.

In this latter example, I find I can use deep breathing to take back control of emotions that can affect my ability to perform. I used to use this at work all the time. I manage my own anxiety, so I would often find that before the start of a new group I would feel anxious. Likewise, I would find in meetings and training sessions my anxiety would spike as I became aware it was my turn to contribute. In these instances, I would use deep breathing to bring awareness to my breath and manage the breathing. Once I had detected my breathing was erratic, I could focus on deep breathing exercises to control my breathing.

The exercises would control my breathing, which in turn would lower my heart rate, and I could then focus on responding to the situation. Once these physical symptoms were under control, I found I could think more clearly and be mindful in the moment.

Although the benefits of extended deep breathwork are undeniable, it can also be used to bring the breathing back under control in a short space of time. As such it is so valuable because you can do it anywhere at any time, and no one needs to know you are doing it.

If anyone wants any support with incorporating deep breathing, mindfulness, or meditation into their daily routines, please book a Mindset Meeting.

Chloe Mepham
The Benefits of Mindfulness

How do you manage your emotions? What techniques do you use? How effective are these techniques?

We can all suffer from problematic emotions. It is a fundamental component of being human. They serve a purpose. Whether this purpose is to warn us of potential danger or reward us for achievements. The list is truly endless of how our emotions serve us.

Many techniques I have heard that people use to manage their emotions stem from Mindfulness. This is an effective technique for managing those negative emotions we would rather avoid, such as stress.

There are various mindful practices that you can perform to achieve that inner peace so many of us crave. The benefits of these are numerous. The basic principle is the same. To focus on something, be it internal or external in extensive detail, incorporating all your senses. These practices permit us to distract our train of thought which could be negative. However, it also permits these thoughts to enter our conscious, where we acknowledge them for what they are and then release them. Once we have released them, we can return our focus to that internal or external thing that we initially focused on.

The benefits of Mindful Practices can be, but are not limited to:
• Releasing stress
• Managing anxiety
• Improving sleep
• Improving physical health such as reducing the risk of heart disease
• Lower your blood pressure
• Help you manage pain

It is an emotive time out there. Stay safe.

Chloe Mepham
What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is the point of Emotional Intelligence (EI)? Why bother with how you are feeling? Why concern yourself with the emotions of others? Well, it can make life personally and professionally much easier for all involved.

EI is a skill that can be developed, but what exactly is it?

EI is the ability to understand our own and others’ emotions. It is slightly more complex in that it involves the ability to not only understand and name the emotion that we are experiencing but to manage this effectively. I have often provided the example of how do you know if entering a job interview you are excited about the opportunity or afraid of the interview process?

Although everyone will have their own emotional cues, we also have general emotional cues when our emotions are elevated. These general cues can often overlap between emotions because they are part of the fight or flight response. This is within us all and designed for us to run toward opportunity or run from danger. As such the head, heart and lungs will get into gear. People may experience racing thoughts, headaches, racing heartbeat as the heart pumps blood around the body to the muscles to prepare for action. In addition, people may experience changes in their breathing, be it heavier, faster or more shallow. It is important for us all to be able to avoid to the best of our ability our emotions elevating to this level in everyday life. Elevated emotions can impair our ability to think clearly. Sometimes it is essential. It is a natural reaction for a reason. However, it can be controlled.

How can we manage our emotions so that we do not react impulsively, inappropriately or in anyway that may cause us to do something that we later regret? There is no one answer to this question. Everyone will have different methods that work for them. However, if we look at the general cues of thoughts, heartbeat and breathing we can identify some methods that will work for most.

Do you know when you are thinking negatively? It is an abstract concept to think about thinking but a powerful tool to support you in emotive times. I find the most difficult aspect is identifying that I am thinking negatively in the first place, but I have managed to identify thought patterns that warn me that either I am winding myself up or bringing myself down. For example, “I can’t do this!” Now I know from experience I can do pretty much anything I put my mind and motivation to, but I am a procrastinator. If I catch myself thinking “I can’t do this” I can challenge it by reminding myself of all that I have achieved, and typically there’s something similar I have overcome. I have overcome a lot in life. In the past two years alone I have overcome depression, anxiety, stress, near divorce and an identity crisis. All amid a global pandemic.

Now typically I can recognise my heart racing, but I want to avoid it getting to that level unless necessary such as running from danger. One of the best tools I find for managing all three of these cues; thoughts, heart rate and breathing is mindful breathing.

Typically, we will take shorter exhales from the chest in panic breathing. Initially just be mindful or conscious of your breathing patterns. You can then focus your thoughts on the breath and slowing down on the exhale. If necessary, counting in your head how long you are exhaling for. Also try to focus on inhaling through the abdomen as opposed to the chest. You will distract your mind from those negative thoughts. This also slows down the breathing and the heart rate. This can bring you back to a more composed state where you can manage the situation as is best for all involved. At the very least it provides you with time for more choice.

It is a discreet technique that can be practised anywhere, without anyone knowing that you are doing it. I would recommend practising this in a relaxed state first, as it is a skill and like any skill it can be learned to become like second nature.

There are numerous other emotional management techniques that you can use. Each individual will find different techniques work for them.

However, once you are in control of your emotions, rather than your emotions in control of you, it gives you options. Options in your personal, professional and practically any area of your life. Emotions are alive within us all the time.

How do you know how someone else is feeling? Sure, you could ask. However, they may or may not intentionally lie to you. They may even be lying to themselves because emotions can be that intense. There are ways in which you can pick up on this. What they say. What they don’t say. Their body language and numerous other tells. Again, if you would like to discuss this further, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

It is an emotive time out there. Stay safe.

Chloe Mepham
Time Management and Stress

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Have you ever succumbed to stress because of your work/life balance? Does your daily to do list provoke anxiety at times?

This can be a common occurrence, especially with new ways of working merging home and work in a seemingly tangled web. I have worked with people in the past who have seriously struggled with this issue, even pre COVID.

Often people feel obligated to provide significantly financially, that they neglect other areas of their life such as relatives, friends, and socialising. However, this can lead to them missing out on that quality time that they are working so hard to provide for.

Even the most introverted people desire social interaction. Some people however are more comfortable in their own company. Both of which are individual decisions. However, if the pressure of providing financially is initiating an unhealthy stress response, it needs to be addressed. There are many ways to address the stress response as I have mentioned in previous articles such as mindfulness, exercise, and laughter.

If the root cause is not addressed though, you may find yourself continually having to fall back on your stress management strategies, which again can consume more of your time. This is certainly not time wasted; but can be avoided by simply addressing the root cause.

Identifying the root cause of your stress could be as simple as taking an inventory of what you value in life and to what degree. We all value different things and to varying degrees. Identifying what these values are can help you to prioritise your daily routine and reduce the stress which may build to an overwhelming level. If this level is breached, then it can leave you in a state where you are unable to address anything you value.

The financial and social values are just one example. I have worked with clients who have had health issues which they did not address because other things kept occurring and they addressed these instead. Thus, prolonging their physical pain and minimising their abilities to deal with the other issues that continued arising. If we don’t address our primary values, we can create additional problems for ourselves, again elevating our stress levels. Identifying what we value most in life can be a vital step to preventing ourselves from suffering needlessly.

A healthy dose of self-reflection is an enlightening experience. It doesn’t have to be time consuming, but it is ever evolving and requires regular revision. As circumstances change, sometimes so does what we value. Self-reflection can provide you with more time, energy and reduce your stress levels. All of which can only serve to enhance your reputation, be it at work or with those close to you.

Chloe Mepham
Self Esteem Versus Self Confidence

Self esteem is something I have struggled with my entire life. Up until recently, I have only begun to value myself more than before.

Self confidence is what others’ see. I believe I have always come across as self-confident, but this does not mean it translates on the inside. Sometimes the most self-confident can feel low self-esteem. Self esteem is how we feel on the inside. Due to my thinking biases such as personalisation and being overly self-critical this has hindered my personal growth in the past. Now I am aware of my thinking biases, and they are no longer lingering in my unconscious I can challenge them! It is not an easy feat, but it is well worth it. Again, like so many other aspects of ourselves; Awareness if Key!

There are numerous techniques to combat low self-esteem. Ask yourself to list three things that you are skilled at. Ask yourself how others who care for you would describe you; again list at least three. Make a journal of negative thoughts holding you back. Recognise these thoughts. Challenge these thoughts. Why do I think this? What evidence supports this thought? Choose affirmations to support you when you experience these thoughts.

There are many more techniques to boost self-esteem and self-confidence. If anyone wants any support in identifying what works for them, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Chloe Mepham
Identifying Self Care Strategies

Everyone is different; I can support you to identify self care strategies, emotional and stress management techniques that will enable you to achieve beyond your dreams.

Do you often find that you feel tense? Does your list of priorities sometimes seem overwhelming? Do you have a strategy to boost your self-esteem and reduce your stress levels?

Everyone is different and will find different strategies for self-care supportive. I personally start my day with exercise; be it cardio, weights, or a mindful movement such as yoga, tai chi or qi gong. I find this sets me up for the day and motivates me to get moving. Routine for me is valuable so I can maintain my work life balance, yet set out to achieve what it is I need to that day. There are times when I feel overwhelmed and being able to identify this is valuable. At these times I will take time out of my day, even if it is for a 10 minute tea break or a walk. I will fully immerse myself in that task. If it is a tea break, I will focus on the preparation, aroma, sounds, and taste. If it is a walk, I will immerse myself in my surroundings. I will feel the climate, gaze at the scenery, listen to the sounds around me and the smells, maybe of freshly cut grass. Providing myself with this space permits me to return to my tasks invigorated and with a fresh perspective. Another technique I find invaluable if I can’t take that break is deep breathing through the abdomen as opposed to the chest. It is a skill best practiced best when in a calm state and it will become like second nature when your breathing begins to escalate. So, if you are in a meeting for example, you can take that pause and regain your composure.

As I mentioned these techniques will vary from person to person and it is about finding out what works for you. So that you have that skillset there when you need it. One technique for identifying what works best for yourself is to keep a journal. Make a note of what the pleasant experience was. Identify what in your day made you feel good. Note how you felt before physically and mentally, then how you felt during the experience. Try to note down as much detail as possible. Identify what thoughts, moods, and physical sensations you felt. Also note how you felt as you wrote the details down in your journal. Soon, you will build up a list of activities that you can use to motivate yourself and calm yourself both in the immediate and the longer term. Incorporating these into a daily routine can make a significant difference to your welfare.

It is always important to take care of ourselves, especially if we want to be in a position to support others. As ever, if you want to discuss this further, please don’t hesitate to contact me. We all need support. There is no shame in asking for it.

Chloe Mepham
Inspiration and Meaning

What inspires you? What does it mean to you when you achieve something?

The way in which we view the world is paramount to what we gain from it. If we are constantly viewing obstacles or problems, this can provoke a negative mindset. That can be demotivating. However, if we turn these obstacles into challenges, and problems into goals to achieve, it can affect the way in which we view our tasks. It can in turn be more motivational.

In addition, breaking down overwhelming goals into smaller tasks can make them seem more achievable. It is important that we set ourselves achievable goals. Once the first smaller task has been achieved, this can again provide that motivational mindset to continue to achieve.

But what about when we are feeling uninspired? Sometimes we can all get stuck in a rut. It is important at times like this to remind ourselves why we are doing something. Focusing on the why can remind us of the things that we are working for and towards. Focusing on a goal or reward we might be working towards can be beneficial. It can also help to focus on others who may benefit from whatever it is you might be doing, be they loved ones benefitting from your wage or clients benefitting from your services.

Alternative ways to make the most of your job may be to ask for a change in duties or make simple changes to your own routine. It could be taking a walk in a different area. It could be starting a new hobby. It could be a change to your working pattern.

Whatever your role there will always be an element of change. Allow that change to challenge you and praise yourself for your achievements. Remind yourself how worthy you are of that praise. Make a note of whatever boosts you physically and mentally throughout the day. Express gratitude for it. Use these notes to incorporate more of whatever it is that provides you with that boost.

As ever, if you or anyone you know require any support in any of these areas, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Chloe Mepham
Mindset and Motivation

I have tended in the past to procrastinate. This is a passive followed by an aggressive approach to achieving goals. Much like with the different styles in which we communicate we can also approach problems and goals in the same way; either passively, aggressively, assertively or a combination. Again, an assertive approach to achieving goals is the most effective.

If we approach problems passively, we tend to ignore them, such as hiding from our problems or minimising the effects of putting these off. This can cause additional problems. In turn, we can expose ourselves to unnecessary stress and anguish.

If we approach problems aggressively, this doesn’t necessarily mean an aggressive reaction but can include this. It can refer to when we launch into solving a problem head first without giving it due consideration.

For instance, in my example of procrastination I would passively minimise the importance of the problem and any sense of urgency until the last moment, when I would aggressively jump into trying to solve it. This can increase our chances of failure. Once we fail it causes unnecessary stress and dents our self-esteem. This affects our confidence in our own abilities.

I have been trained in approaching problems and goals assertively and have found this far more effective. When we approach situations assertively, we allow ourselves sufficient time to research, reflect and respond accordingly. It is important to monitor our emotional intensity when solving problems and achieving goals so that we perform at our peak. Referring back to my article on emotions and performance, if we are too emotional it can cause additional stress. While if we are not emotional enough, we may not have the drive to approach the situation.

So, how do you motivate yourself when approaching solving problems or setting goals?

In these times of increased remote working, I find for me it is beneficial to have a routine that I adhere to. Included in this routine, I incorporate my self-care strategies. For example, on weekdays when I work, I will exercise first thing in the morning, before showering and changing into smarter attire, like I would if I were working in the office. I have a separate office from my personal space so that I can keep my work life balance in check. I ensure I take proper breaks so that I don’t burnout. Often in good weather I will also integrate a walk into this routine usually just before lunch. I also ensure that I keep to my working hours not doing unnecessary overtime. I find these strategies work for me.

Again, everyone is different, and it is important to find what works best for you. Sometimes, it may be that for whatever reason I cannot adhere to my typical routine. So, what other methods are there to support us with motivation?

It is important to bear in mind why we are doing something. Focusing on the why we are doing something in times of low motivation can be a reminder that prompts us into action. It can be useful to note this down or put up a reminder of this, for those times when we are demotivated.

In addition, focusing on reframing problems we may encounter into goals can be valuable. It’s all about the language we use. If we see a problem as something we want to avoid, it is generally not as motivational as striving to achieve something. For example, we could say to ourselves we want to avoid debt, or we could say to ourselves we want to earn more money. Which do you find more motivational?
It is also important, especially for large goals to break them down into smaller goals. That way when we achieve a smaller goal we are given a boost, a sense of achievement that can motivate us to continue working towards our larger goal. Once we achieve a smaller goal, we could also reward ourselves with whatever we find we enjoy.

In addition, it can be useful to have some pre-prepared affirmations. These are useful when we feel demotivated as there is no more powerful voice than our own. We can tell ourselves negative things about our abilities, so why not use that same voice to commend ourselves for our abilities. I have some printed out affirmations above my computer in my office for times when I feel low or demotivated. Some people may recite affirmations to themselves in the mirror at the start of the day. It is basically a positive statement we can tell ourselves. Whatever works for you.

Chloe Mepham
Emotion and Communication

I used to be a people pleaser. I would say yes to everyone and everything for what I thought would be a quieter life. This is known as passive communication. There are four different types of communication styles, and these are known as passive, passive aggressive, aggressive and assertive. I could also at times slip into being passive aggressive, mostly through body language such as eye rolls and silent treatment. However, I was then trained in the art of assertive behaviour which is the more preferrable of the four different styles.

We will all fall into one of the four categories predominantly. However, our emotions can affect our ability to communicate effectively. It is also important to remember that how we believe we are communicating is not necessarily how we are perceived by the other person, and everyone is different. What is acceptable for one person, may not be acceptable for someone else.

A passive communication style is often characterised by submitting to the other person. The problem with this is it can lead to a build up of resentment. Resentment can then manifest in a variety of ways. The most likely is that accumulation of negative emotions which will need to at some point be expressed. Be it internally or externally. If it is expressed externally it could result in an aggressive outburst, and not necessarily at the source of the resentment. It could be for a small conflict in opinion with someone close to you. If it is expressed internally, you could suffer from stress and shame, neither of which will result in any positive emotions or behaviours. Others may also take advantage of you.

A passive aggressive style is generally characterised by sarcasm. Be it through your verbal or non verbal communication. Body language such as eye rolling, tensed facial expressions and slamming doors are examples of passive aggressive communication. It is aimed at the other communicator, so it could be anything that you would know makes them feel uncomfortable. What would that do to your and the other person’s emotions? It will likely again bring about regret, shame and remorse for the communicator. For the recipient, it will not do the relationship any favours and it may have the effect of making the other person uncomfortable at the least.

An aggressive style is often used to intimidate other people to get what you want. It doesn’t have to involve physical violence, but it could also be verbal or non verbal. Body language such as invading someone’s personal space, staring and exaggerated limb movements might indicate aggressive communication. The tone of voice will likely be raised, and words used to wound. Again, this style will often lead the communicator to feel regret, shame and remorse. For the recipient it could potentially traumatise them.

Assertive communication is characterised by confidence, consideration, and responding rather than reacting. When we react we are letting our emotions control us. When we respond, we are taking back control of our emotions. An assertive communicator will be interested in what is appropriate for all parties involved. It may involve skills such as negotiation which means that co operation is key. However, it is the most effective way to prevent elevated negative emotions on both sides.

Whilst mentioning that we will all fall predominantly into one of these categories, our circumstances, and the situation itself can affect how we communicate. If our emotions are elevated, we can slip into aggressive or passive aggressive behaviours. In these instances, it will likely provoke an even more intense emotion of shame for our actions.

It might not be verbal communication either, it might be an e-mail or text message. The majority of communication is body language. Without that, misinterpretations are increasingly likely.

Managing our emotions affects all components of our life. Communication is a key example. It could be communicating with friends, family, colleagues or anyone we interact with such as professionals. My recommendation would be to monitor those emotional cues, take a step back and deep breath before communicating. It may even be wise to wait on the interaction until you have de-escalated your emotions.

Chloe Mepham
Stress Management

I have suffered with stress in the past. To such an extent I have found it debilitating. However, I have managed to take back control of my emotions so that stress does not rule my life. It is a vicious cycle and if we don’t address it, it can become unmanageable.

I have discussed building resilience to support us with managing our emotions but in this article, I wanted to delve into further detail for those who may have different coping mechanisms to mine and offer some suggestions.

First and foremost, we need to identify when we are stressed, those physical indicators generally in the head, heart and lungs. But you may have other indicators such as sweating, tensing or even avoiding situations or people because unconsciously we have identified when they are around, we feel stress.

Following on from this it is important for us to identify those situations i.e. rush hour traffic or people i.e. a friend of a friend who we may feel stress around. Once we are aware of these, we can manage them. It may be to avoid rush hour traffic or have stress management techniques to hand to support us with the stress of that moment. We can only control ourselves not others. Identify what is within your control. It is our thoughts about things that provoke the stress. If we can change our thinking about things, it can reduce our stress levels.

Once we are aware of the stress, then we can manage it. It is important for us to pause so that we respond rather than react off emotion. There are various methods we can use to support us with stress management. As I have mentioned before routine, exercise, deep breathing, and mindful techniques are the techniques I find most beneficial. But it can vary from day to day.

Another technique could be listening to calming music or soothing sounds that could calm your physical reactions.

There are others such as visualisation. Think of a calming place personal to yourself, it may be a beach, a forest, or a mountain. It could be anywhere you have visited that you have felt calm. Use it, when you feel those stress signals -in rush hour traffic this is not an appropriate technique as the idea is to fully immerse yourself with all of your senses in that calming space.

Another technique could be to reduce your responsibilities. We often take on too much. It is ok to say no if you are already overwhelmed. It is all in the delivery. I will write more about communication styles at a later date but if you can keep in control of your tone, words and body language you may be surprised how receptive others can be.

Talking of others, doing something selfless can be a good way to reduce stress. Not just for them, but it will also boost your own self esteem to know that you have done a good deed. Also talking to others can help with stress. It is important to surround ourselves with a positive social support system. People we can turn to when needed to vent our stress, again it’s all in the delivery no matter how close to them you are. We generally don’t want to offend people, that will only provide us with more stress and problems. If you don’t have a support system, there are professionals you can reach out to. Please don’t hesitate to contact myself if you want to discuss this further.

In addition to exercise, diet is also important to manage stress. Maybe we are drinking too much caffeine or alcohol? Maybe we are only eating junk food? Reassessing what we consume can help us manage stress.

The list is truly endless, it is about finding out what works for you. What do you enjoy? What do you value? Why beat yourself up over things that are out of your control? If you’re not sure of these things, keep a gratitude journal to note what you do enjoy and find relaxing. Likewise, if you are not sure what your stressors are, keep a journal noting down those. It can be extremely cathartic to get your thoughts down on paper.

If you would like to discuss any of these issues further, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Chloe Mepham
Emotion and Performance

When do you perform at your best? When you wake up? Before you go to sleep?

There is a peak performance level. It is within us all. It is where we perform at our best. It is the in between. You can either perform poorly when you’re tired or when your emotions are intense. Be it through anger, upset, embarrassment or any emotion. It is your choice. Would you react instantaneously off emotion or respond with considered thought?

There are numerous ways in which we can increase or decrease our emotional intensity. Everyone will have different methods that work for them. Some of the methods that I have found people generally benefit from over the years include music. This works on both levels. Elevating music can increase your performance, whilst more mellow sounds can serve to decrease your emotional intensity levels. Exercise can boost energy levels but also burn off excess negative energy. We can also use our thoughts to challenge any negative thought patterns we may get caught up in, likewise we can challenge excitable thoughts that may cause us to do something we may regret later.

The most effective methods of managing your emotions will be personal to you. I believe it is important for us to discover as many methods that work for us as possible. This way we will have tools at our disposal should the need arise.

Chloe Mepham
Unconscious Bias and Emotion

When things go wrong, I tend to blame myself, but when things work out for the best, I tend to credit others. This has in the past caused me intense emotions of guilt. However, this is because I was unaware of my biased thinking patterns. We all have them and they are acquired through our life experiences. To such an extent that we will tend to frame any situations with these biases.

However, now I am conscious of my thinking biases I can begin to manage them. I can question my reaction and ease my emotion in a situation. Why is it my fault? What did I do well in that situation? Is it really me? By being conscious of my biases such as personalising things and being self-critical, I can manage them.

There are a wide variety of unconscious biases and it is well worth researching these to see if you can identify any that you may have, in order to save yourself from unnecessary suffering.

Some people may stereotype groups of people and overgeneralise. This could cause them to fear certain groups or become defensive.

Others may think they know what others are thinking, and sometimes they might. However, this could cause unnecessary pain if they were to make snap judgements about others which are incorrect, and they may miss out on opportunities or cause unnecessary upset.

For some people they may always fear the worst will happen regardless of their actions. This could prevent them from achieving their dreams and leave them with a sense of doom.

Whereas some may minimise the importance of situations, others may exaggerate them to an extent beyond what they are. This can cause stress and initiate even more problems for themselves.

Bias is a natural thinking pattern we all learn through our lives. However, if we can bring it from the unconscious into the conscious mind, we can learn to manage it, to prevent causing ourselves additional problems and unnecessarily intense emotions.

Another way to manage these is to pause and reflect on the situation. Before reacting off that emotion take time to consider a response. Try to look at situations objectively, as if you were an objective observer. What would they think? It can only serve to promote your emotional intelligence.

Chloe Mepham
Building Resilience

Building Resilience

I suffer with anxiety. If I don’t monitor and address it, it can build to unmanageable stress. This leaves me with an inability to cope.

Stress is a natural response. It indicates we need to take action to address our stressors. As such in small doses it is a useful indicator. If we listen to our bodies, generally our head, heart and lungs we can catch it before it becomes unmanageable. However, if unaddressed it can become debilitating. So how do we cope?

It is important to be able to build resilience in order to not only deal with stress but recover from its effects. Especially in times such as those the world confronts at the moment in a global pandemic. Having worked in the justice sector delivering programmes for six years I found I had to build strategies to maintain my resilience.

Techniques I use to manage stress include my self-care strategies such as exercise, routine, and rest. I have also found in the past that I tended to overthink situations causing unnecessary worry about something that may not occur or that I may deal with effectively. I find I work well under pressure. However, I then had a tendency to overanalyse my actions after. Some self-reflection is positive as it provides me with lessons to learn from. However, overanalysing can lead to that unmanageable stress. It could cause me to personalise situations and be overly critical of myself. I have found adopting mindful practices invaluable. Focusing on the present in immense detail using all your senses.

Everyone is different and will have different methods to manage stress. I believe it is now more important than ever for us to address our strategies to build resilience.


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