Casual sex has been very prevalent in this society as long as I could remember, when my mum began to unshield me from this topic little by little, first by teaching me all about the birds and the bees, every lesson she took the time to teach me, began to make me think. In my mum's lessons she also thought me about what to do if when I became older, how best to handle the topic of sex with others, when is the best time to have sex, she always promoted it is best to be in love but circumstances don't always work out that way.

'Were you in love with the sperm donor that was my absence father.' I asked. She told me she was only nineteen, and what she knew about love then was so different. Single parent house holds if anything they are, is an experience in life, that never turned out like what our grandparents would have thought them when they were young. Marriage is but a business really, rather cynical but my truth, I believe it should be about love and for a certain percentage of people out there it is. But a certain percentage of others it is not.

The very single parent house hold made the way for my relationships platonic and love, my childhood trauma also paved my past and existing relationships with others, which was never easy. It is not easy, but I do believe 'A friend to everyone is a friend to none' The less friends you can count on one or two hands, is a far better circle, a small community of people you can trust.
But my main focus and point in this article today, is to discuss the matter in hand, the issue I wish to share and lesson I wish to share, is of a spiritual nature. This lesson comes from Hinduism and really it is just a practice, am I a Monk, no, I do not live in the mountains isolated from the society although my online Independent school and healing therapy workshops and classes, will one day be an intentional living community but even at that, we can only be practitioners of a spiritual exercise, much like Shamanism unless we are born into a Shaman family we will not be Shamans but only Shaman Practitioners.

As a Pagan Polytheist I appreciate and take practice in certain lessons, rituals in pagan, Buddhism, Judaism, Hindu, and I am reading some scripture about Allah. But I am no Guru or do I want to be, I certainty do not strive to be a cult leader as I have met a person in the past who wanted to be, I also met people owners of ecological farms who used volunteers to work all hours helping them build their farm without reward. So It is not my intention to achieve this, my intention is to bring philosophies that interest me into my life, and with my spiritual, life and wellness coaching qualification and teaching I can. Teaching others how they can strive for better in their life by using such practices.
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When I decided to have sex I was 27 years old, with childhood trauma it was so difficult to do this but I had the experience as I felt I was ready at the age I was, but I rejected my partner after the experience, I rejected myself, my self worth had become very depleted, lack of confidence, you see yes I was old enough but that was not the case emotionally, it was only in my early 20's I began to try and heal from my childhood trauma and it is only now five months away from entering into a new decade I will be 40 years old soon and it's only now I am beginning to accept and move forward.
As soon as I lost my virginity, I took a celibacy vow and energetically it is very healing, this is my teaching on this subject, it is all about the cleanse of your energy, my point is this when you are engaging with one moment or multiple moments weekend after weekend and I don't judge those that do, but once for that casual experience was enough, my value system yes comes from a single parent they understand that people disappoint you and relationships fail and yet again we are abandoned, left behind, ignored, rejected. And this is horrible, it hurts us, and it depletes us, our energy. We are giving apart of ourselves, our energy, our soul, our heart and very trauma too and we are absorbing all this from others too, and this energy can build up inside us if we do not release it.

In Hinduism sexuality is spiritualty, it is about connecting the male and the female energies together as one, this is so beautiful and I really support this, I wish to discuss further with you on this subject of Tantra also, but I must continue to research more. Eating consciously, living, exercising consciously is also practiced along side Celibacy and it all comes together for six years I was celibate until I had lovers again I had this time a few short relationships a few months with my partners, and I found out that when you are only learning about yourself, and your partner is only learning about themselves how could either of you actually make this potential relationship work, it is challenging. On my side I wanted and wished so much for the relationships to work but my partners who were so scared of intimacy ran away, I look back now and the pain is gone I don't blame them, although these experiences still hurt but they are also lessons I can learn from.

My celibacy was and still is very important to me, it has healed my trauma and continues to do so, but it isn't without it's challenges, we can receive love in even platonic forms but it is the romantic I am missing out on. I am manifesting a new love and the universe is sending me signs but I know that when my energy is clear my body is cleansed from this practice it is an energetic clearance, one last note I have researched devirginizing operations, it is very popular among certain cultures, no way do I agree with this mutilation and I certainty do not promote this act but I can understand, empathise with this practice, you see as a woman in this society and I am sure any woman reading may or may not agree, virtue is so important even now women are shunned for expressing their sexual urges, curiosities and even expressing themselves with their clothes or lack of clothes at times but I am no judge, I do wish to convey further do take your sexual health in to account before you have sex and their are always consequences to the actions we take, spiritual, energy and physical health. But also don't be ashamed of good healthy sexual expression and be happy with the rests you take also as it is important cleanse your sexual and spiritual energy but do strive for love also if not now, one day as I do believe making love to the man or woman will be a most amazing experience any one of us can have.

Peace love and light to all my readers,
I appreciate you so much.
Luna Phoenix Camille
Growing Through Nature Association
Therapist Coach Speaker Writer