"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." - Viktor E. Frankl
It's unlikely that our minds can completely stop thinking, at least not while we're conscious. Our minds are constantly active, even when we're not consciously aware of it. When we're engaged in a task that requires focus and concentration, our minds can still wander and generate thoughts unrelated to the task at hand. For instance, when you are watching a movie or a serial, you may strike all of a sudden for the emotional attachment to the person who helped you a few years back although the movie incidents are nowhere related to a past incident. Your thoughts can be sequential or random.
It is fact that we cannot stop the process of thinking, it is possible to slow down or redirect our thinking through mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises. These techniques can help us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings and can allow us to observe them without getting caught up in them.
Several drugs can slow down or make our thoughts faster but let us not discuss the vulnerable aspects of the issues due to their undesirable consequences.
It's important to note that an empty mind may not be a desirable or even attainable state. Thoughts and ideas are an important part of our cognitive processes and can help us solve problems and generate new insights. The goal of mindfulness is not to eliminate thinking altogether but to develop a more balanced and peaceful relationship with our thoughts.
How can we develop a balanced and peaceful relationship with our thoughts?
Developing a balanced and peaceful relationship with our thoughts takes practice and patience. Here are some techniques that may help:
1. Mindfulness Meditation
This involves paying attention to the present moment, including our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, without judgment. By observing our thoughts without getting caught up in them, we can develop a more objective and balanced perspective.
Sit in a comfortable, upright position with your feet flat on the ground and your hands resting on your lap. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Now, bring your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation of the breath as it enters and exits your body. You may notice the coolness of the air as you inhale, and the warmth of the air as you exhale.
As you focus on your breath, you may start to notice thoughts arising in your mind. This is normal and natural. Simply observe the thoughts without getting caught up in them or judging them. Imagine that your thoughts are like clouds passing by in the sky, and you are simply observing them from a distance.
If you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts, gently bring your attention back to your breath. You may find it helpful to count each inhale and exhale, or to repeat a simple phrase or word, such as "peace" or "calm."
Continue to focus on your breath for a few minutes, or as long as you feel comfortable. When you're ready, slowly open your eyes and take a moment to notice how you feel. You may feel more relaxed and cantered than before you started the exercise.
This simple mindfulness exercise can be practiced anytime, anywhere, and can help you develop greater awareness and control over your thoughts and emotion.
2. Cognitive Restructuring
This involves challenging and replacing negative or unhelpful thoughts with more positive and constructive ones. For example, if we find ourselves thinking, "I'm not good enough," we can challenge that thought by asking ourselves, "Is that true?" and replacing it with a more realistic thought, such as, "I may have some areas to improve, but I have many strengths as well."
Let's say you have an upcoming job interview and you start to think, "I'm going to mess up and embarrass myself." This thought can lead to anxiety and self-doubt, and may even negatively impact your performance in the interview.
To use cognitive restructuring, you can challenge this thought by asking yourself a series of questions to evaluate its validity and accuracy. For example:
Is this thought realistic? What evidence do I have to support it?
Am I overgeneralizing or catastrophizing? Is it possible that I might do well in the interview?
Are there any other ways to interpret this situation?
What would I say to a friend who had this thought?
Once you've evaluated the validity of the negative thought, you can replace it with a more positive and realistic one. For example:
"I've prepared for this interview and have the necessary qualifications for the job. I have a good chance of doing well."
"It's natural to feel nervous before an interview, but I can handle it and perform well."
"Even if I don't get this job, I can learn from the experience and use it to improve for future interviews."
Once upon a time when there was an interview for the job of our former prime minister Mr. Morarji Desai. Interviewers were satisfied and they were about to disclose the instant result but when one of the interviewers asked the final question, “What will be your course of action if you are not selected for this post?”
Mr. Morarji Desai immediately replied,
“If I am not selected for this post, I will prepare myself with extra work and I will get a better post than this!” What an attitude for self! The attitude was not less than an Indian Administrative Standard. Of course, he deserved a such post, achieved and served for years.
By using cognitive restructuring in this way, you can challenge and replace negative thoughts with more positive and constructive ones, leading to reduced anxiety and improved performance.
3. Mindful Breathing
This involves focusing on our breath and using it as an anchor for our attention. Whenever we notice our thoughts starting to wander, we can gently bring our attention back to our breath. This can help us develop greater awareness and control over our thoughts.
Find a comfortable seated position in a quiet space, where you won't be disturbed.
Close your eyes, or simply soften your gaze.
Bring your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation of the breath as it enters and exits your body. You can focus on the sensation of the breath in your nostrils, or on the rise and fall of your chest or belly.
As you inhale, count "one" silently in your mind. As you exhale, count "two." Continue counting each inhales and exhale, up to ten. Then start again from one. Reverse the order from “ten” to “one”.
If you find your mind wandering, simply notice the thought or distraction, and gently bring your attention back to your breath and counting.
Continue this exercise for a few minutes, or for as long as you like.
This exercise can help you develop greater awareness of your breath and your thoughts and can help you learn to focus your attention and stay present at the moment. You can practice this exercise anytime, anywhere, whenever you need a moment of calm or cantering.
4. Acceptance
This involves accepting our thoughts and feelings, even if they are uncomfortable or unpleasant. By acknowledging and accepting our thoughts, we can reduce our emotional reactions to them and develop a more peaceful relationship with them.
Let's say that a researcher is conducting a study on the effects of mindfulness training on stress levels. The participants in the study are randomly assigned to either a mindfulness training group or a control group. The mindfulness training group receives instruction on how to practice acceptance, among other mindfulness techniques.
To test the effects of acceptance, the researcher might ask the participants to complete a stress-inducing task, such as a public speaking or math test. Before and after the task, the participants are asked to rate their levels of stress and anxiety.
The results of the study show that the participants who received mindfulness training, including instruction on acceptance, experienced lower levels of stress and anxiety compared to the control group. This suggests that acceptance can be an effective tool for managing stress and anxiety.
In this example, acceptance is being tested as a specific component of mindfulness training. By accepting their thoughts and feelings during a stressful situation, the participants were able to reduce their emotional reaction to the stressor and experience less overall stress and anxiety.
5. Gratitude Practice
This involves focusing on the positive aspects of our lives and expressing gratitude for them. By cultivating a sense of gratitude, we can shift our focus away from negative or unhelpful thoughts and develop a more optimistic outlook.
Choose a group of participants and randomly assign them into two groups - a gratitude group and a control group.
Ask both groups to keep a daily journal for two weeks. The gratitude group will write down three things they are grateful for each day, while the control group will write down three events that happened during the day.
At the end of the two weeks, compare the two groups on measures of well-being, such as happiness, life satisfaction, and positive affect.
Analyze the data and see if the gratitude group shows greater improvements in well-being compared to the control group.
This type of experiment has been done in various forms and has consistently shown that practicing gratitude can have a positive impact on well-being. For example, one study found that participants who wrote letters expressing gratitude to someone experienced greater increases in happiness compared to a control group who wrote about other topics (Seligman et al., 2005). Another study found that participants who engaged in a gratitude exercise for three weeks reported greater life satisfaction and happiness compared to a control group (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
Remember, developing a more balanced and peaceful relationship with our thoughts is a process that takes time and effort. It's important to be patient with ourselves and to practice these techniques regularly to see the benefits.