Feelings and Emotions
feelings are such a big part of us having a human experience. They seem to arise and dissipate constantly and in its diversity colouring our everyday lives like the colours of the rainbow. One of my greatest recent insights was about how conditioned we are to suppress any negative feelings. Although sometimes, for example if they “don’t fit” into our current structure of life, we might suppress even positive feelings such as love and affection. But it’s mainly the negative ones, which are suppressed so quickly that we don’t even notice that we do it.
The judgement for having those feelings also often happens instantly, the thought that we shouldn’t feel these emotions, especially those difficult ones such as envy, jealousy, anger, rage, etc. What we might not realise is that the self-judgement only adds energy to them, like pouring oil to the fire. And by suppressing those emotions, the energy is not lost, but becomes part of our subconscious mind, making us feel heavy and affect our physical health.
These suppressed feelings/energy will then magnetically attract situations and events into our lives which will trigger the same feelings again and again. So for example no one can make you feel angry, unless you already have suppressed anger within you. And if you get angry often, it means you have loads of suppressed anger…Sometimes there is a belief that expressing those negative feelings is healthy, but in fact this only creates a toxic environment no one wants to be part of. And if we are dumping the negative feelings on others, we still don’t deal with them in a constructive way.
Once you realise the true magnificence of the infinite eternal being that you are, you realise that you are like the ocean - deep, vast, majestic, the ocean of oneness. Your true identity of the changeless witness, pure consciousness, pure awareness will translate into stable inner happiness, gentle peace and gentle joy. And it becomes really obvious to you that any of those transient emotions are only like the waves on the surface of the ocean. They come and go if you let them. And when you can see this clearly, you’ll naturally stop identifying with them and in return they’ll lose their power over you. You simply let them come. And then you let them go.
So how do you let them go? By welcoming them, embracing them, not pushing against them, not trying to change them or get rid of them…As what you resist persists. It’s good to know that you don’t have to be scared of any of your emotions. Even the darkest feelings like fear or depression are nothing to be afraid of. I often use the analogy to see them like children. It’s easier for most of us not to judge children, especially the little ones. No matter what mood they are in, we can love them, we can embrace them as they are. So imagine your own negative emotions this way. Unhappy children just needing to be loved, completely embraced and accepted as they are.
They want you to be present with them. Often it helps to imagine opening your arms, opening your heart and just noticing the feeling without any judgement. When we do that the emotion might intensify for a couple of minutes, but if we stay present with it, without letting our mind and rationalisation get in the way, it naturally starts dissipating. This means you’ve just released a layer of suppressed emotion, suppressed energy and so when you encounter the same emotion next time it’s going to be less and less intense. You are on the path of inner liberation, well done!
To me a spiritual maturity means becoming like a child again. Not childish, but childlike. We’ve been on the journey of life for a while, we’ve been touched by life yet recognising clearly that our true nature can’t ever be touched by anything. Our innocence is never lost. Yes it can be temporarily obscured, but never truly lost. And as we recognise it and consciously choose to return to it, we experience awe and wonder of life once again. We are able to be fully present in the moment with abiding reverence for all life. And that includes all our emotions. We let them arise. We let them dissipate. We are not disturbed by them. As we recognise they too are just part of the ever changing reality of appearances…