Hello Tania! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I agree with you in everything! I also had difficulties with meditation, I tried to tune in to meditation for a long time, but nothing worked. Only after a while, when I gave up trying, but thought a lot about meditating, about returning to my attempts, an insight suddenly descended on me. Never give up, that's for sure! Illumination will overtake everyone who strives and sincerely wants enlightenment!