The tears started to well up the minute I finished my mascara. Shit. Now?! This mascara isn’t even waterproof was my first thought. But the more I tried to hold them in, the more they started to spill. Before I knew it..the dam that I had kept closed for so long had burst wide open.
I had just finished a beautiful, thought provoking conversation with a good friend who had lovingly - yet powerfully - reflected back to me that my belief in myself was nowhere near as strong as the belief I held for others.
Others were somehow always smarter, funnier, prettier..and more accomplished than I was. And she could tell by the way I had spoken to her that it wasn’t even a question in my mind - I had been treating this belief in others (and lack of belief in myself) as if it was a fact.
As I struggled to understand why I wasn’t able to see myself in the way others did I felt long forgotten memories starting to creep in. Memories of all the times I was dismissed, laughed at or told I wasn’t good enough.
Memories of all the times people I had trusted had shared my secrets, laughed behind my back and even gone so far as to tell others things about me that simply weren’t true.
As I struggled to understand why these memories and emotions were coming up now, I realized that all the inner work I had been doing was based in logic - it had never gone so deep as to draw from my heart.
And because of that, I had only changed what my mind thought about those events. I hadn’t actually addressed how these memories had affected my physical or emotional body.
You need to do both. Mind and body. They’re connected. And when they align in your thoughts and beliefs - that’s when your spirit becomes TRULY strong and powerful.
Mentally I had made myself strong enough to push all the negative thoughts and comments away and to some extent, had even forgotten all about them.
But my body still remembered. And it was internalizing each negative comment, each insult and each painful word that had been carelessly thrown my way. That’s why I was subconsciously still keeping myself hidden years after the actual incidents.
They couldn’t hurt, poke fun at or laugh at what they couldn’t see.
All the thoughts, feelings and hurt that I thought I had “let go off’ was still running the show behind the scenes. Mainly because I hadn’t actually let it go, I had really just spiritually bypassed it all by using logic to explain my feelings away.
Every new and painful experience had prompted me to simply remind myself “hurt people hurt people”. Or - “they’re saying those things from a place of trauma, they don’t know what they’re doing”.
And while I still believe that’s completely true - I no longer allow other people’s own hurts, thoughts or experiences to be an excuse for their treatment of me. I still hold compassion for them - but I no longer hold any space for them. Not in my thoughts, and not in my life.
So what shifted? I started to see that mindset is more than just a way of thinking. It’s a way of BEING. Being so connected in mind, body and spirit that every experience - good and bad- is processed on a mental, emotional AND spiritual level.
So when I say I work with people on their mindset - I don’t just mean how they face the day or the thoughts they’re telling themselves.
Yeah that’s part of it. But for me, true mindset work also involves looking at the impact those thoughts are having on my client’s bodies and working together to heal and integrate that impact so they can emerge from any challenging or negative experience with more unwavering strength, confidence and resilience than they could have ever imagined for themselves.
I see every human as a force of nature. Some are like gentle ripples in the water. Others resemble giant crashing waves with the strength of the ocean propelling their every move. Still others have the power of a hurricane or spewing volcano and are capable of destroying almost anything in their path. But the most powerful ones of all remind me of the sun. They watch the ripples, waves, the high winds of a hurricane and molten lava spilling out of a volcano…and throughout it all, they never stop shining and their power never burns out.
Be the sun. Shine as the biggest and brightest version of yourself...always The power to do that is already in you…isn’t it time you reclaim it and let others see it also?