The 3 Most Difficult things to do in Relationships
In a talk by Dr Wayne Dyer he mentions that there are three things that is very difficult to do:
1. Responding with love to hate.
This one seems to go deeper than I originally thought. It should be simple… When someone is moving away form their source of divine love and peace and they feel the need to share with us in a negative way, then is it possible to respond with love? What a difficult thing to do! Not impossible though. When we practice this and constantly remind ourselves that the laws of the Universe are designed by a very intelligent being, with infinite wisdom, and we only need to acknowledge and surrender, then responding with love can be accomplished with very little effort. If we refuse the gift of anger, hatred or animosity towards us, then the gift will always belong to the giver.
So, what about people who do not fulfill duties that we expect from them? Is this seen as an opportunity to complain or as an opportunity to learn to apply one of the fundamental laws of this earthly game. What we think about we manifest. So, if someone does not live up to our expectations, can we respond with love and send thoughts of love to this person, so that in this process, we can communicate our values to them in a loving way? When we judge them and send negative energy all around and then try to communicate, it feels like our words are travelling through quicksand. Our message does not reach the recipient in a way that we would like to. The more we try and explain from a basis of dissatisfaction, the less result.
The reason for this is simple – When we are constantly complaining about someone who does not do what we expect, then we send energy to that person and this energy sources itself from a negative thought. We are bathing ourselves and the other person in a poison bath.
Let us practice responding with love in the face of hatred, fear, anger and animosity!
2. Including the excluded.
Wow! This one we do exactly the opposite of all the time. Let us think about it! How many of our conversations evolve around the actions of other people, when they are not even there? We exclude them from our conversation, but they are the main feature. Simple gossip is rife. What about on a physical plane?
There is a part in the film about Gandhi's life that resonated with me quite nicely. He had a journalist visit him at his ashram and the journalist had a driver. When Gandhi told the journalist that they had to eat first, he requested that his wife set another plate for the journalist’s driver. He included the excluded. In so many ways this rings true today. Can we offer something to eat to those of us who have servants? Do we just accept the food that they make for us and eat it without offering them the same, or even worse, leftovers?
Whether they appreciate it or not, in the end it is not between us and them, but between us and our infinite loving soul.
3. Admitting on an emotional level when we are wrong.
This one is a huge obstacle. Not intellectually admitting that we are wrong, but emotionally! Can we admit when we hurt someone else’s feelings, or even worse, betray our own? When we find conflict with what we are told and what we are feeling, can we accept the latter and if it was erroneous, can we admit it?
I believe that if we can do this, then we can grow our God given intuition that guides us. It is not merely a privilege to be in communion with our eternal source, but a right! We were made by this governing law of the Universe, whether we call it God, Allah, Jehova, Dao or simply Universal Design. Names are irrelevant, only importance is feeling.
As Wayne Dyer said in his talk – “If prayer is us talking to God, then intuition is God talking to us”
May we choose the road less traveled and meet our soul on these travels!