I felt so tangled up in emotions the first week my family moved to Charleston, South Carolina from my hometown of Orlando, Florida. I was functioning in a permanent state of “fight of flight!” Even though I was totally aware of it, and would catch my reactive tendencies, I still allowed some unfiltered emotions and choice words to fly out. The follow up response to those reactions were always a sense of immediate regret and period of reflection.
My old, go too response was always to run. Yes, I used to be a runner. Whenever things got uncomfortable or even too comfortable, I’d run away. I would change cars, homes, boyfriends just about every 2 -3 years. This response began to shift after returning home to Florida, and opening up Guruv Yoga Studios in my late 20’s. I’m not saying the itch wasn’t and still isn’t present, I just respond differently now. After moving back to Florida, and opening Guruv Yoga Studios, I become responsible for an entire community of students and teachers. My love for the community and yoga family was more powerful then my own discomfort, so I stayed! It was through that love and discomfort that I emotionally matured, and that I discovered my dharma and path of teaching yoga on an international level.
It was also through the connection of my yoga studios that about 6 years ago, I met my now husband Nathan Charles Bender. We celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary on July 16th, 2020. After almost 13 years of owning 3 yoga studios in Lake Mary and Orlando, Florida I sold them in October 2019. I am so grateful to have found someone to carry on and lead the amazing Guruv Yoga community that had been created.
Nate and I moved to Charleston, South Carolina on the 4th of July, 2020. Riding into Charleston by the light of a huge full golden moon, and fireworks seemed like the perfect welcome to our rather monumental transition in life. We both are creating work and carving out our own paths in new and uncharted business territory. Radical times, require radical responsibility!
We purchased a used 26 square foot RV and parked it in the backyard of the home we purchased and started renovating before COVID 19 hit. We stopped renovating in March when the United States went into lock down, and we both stopped working.
We are calling the RV our tiny home, it sounds much more en vogue and glamorous. (NOT) Having 2 adults and a 9 year old boy all living together within less than 26 feet as forced us to do some major downsizing and simplifying. Not only is this the longest amount of time my husband and I have spent together, without a break, it’s also the longest time with a 9 year old boy in the mix. After a full week in our tiny home, I am just surrendering into the messiness of it all. A sense of humor, along with staying focused on what we are creating helps immensely.
Fact: I feel physically and emotionally beaten up these days, and frankly I look like it too. Between my glorious total hip replacement surgery scar, the saucer size Charleston mosquito bites, the blisters on my left hand and up my arm from a cooking mishap in the RV, acne on my face from practicing sweat box hot yoga to work lights in our gutted home, being peri-menopausal and living in a 27ft space with two dudes and not having privacy to “really” go the bathroom!! Oh yeah, and then there’s this little thing called COVID-19 that’s annihilated my personal yoga teaching schedule, sources of income to our personal household, as well as the financial state and stability of the economy for the entire United States.
We are all exactly where we are supposed to be, going through exactly what we are experiencing. I don’t think many (or any) of us would choose to be in this current state of “pandemic.” We don’t have to like where we are, but we can choose to trust that there is a “Divine Order” at work, and have faith that there is a higher purpose to all of this chaos.
Remembering to look for the good, and the hidden blessings within every nook and cranny of a situation, no matter how challenging that may be sometimes. Grace is always present, just waiting for us to acknowledge it.
What helps me? Glad you asked...
1. Daily exercise. Move the body and get those endorphins flowing! I like yoga, but I also enjoy walking, biking and swimming.
2. Get outside and connect to nature. Put your hands and feet in the dirt, grass, beach sand, clay, whatever gets you grounded.
3. Music! Turn on some music. Make playlists that literally get you dancing.
4. Get INSPIRED! Listen to Inspirational Podcasts or webinars.
5. READ. Grab a real live hardcopy of a book, and hold it in your hands. Whatever genre you dig!
6. Mediate. Take time everyday to empty out, get still, quiet the mind and breathe.
7. PRAY. Connect and converse with your higher power. Plug into Source and remember who you are, what you are made of, and why you are here!
8. FaceTime or Zoom call someone who makes you laugh!
9. Food. Cooking can be extremely therapeutic. Get into the kitchen and create something healthy for yourself..
10. Write. Just start writing, even if you don’t feel like it. Write that down! Put pen to paper and start expressing your feelings. Just by getting them outside of yourself, and onto paper you will feel lighter, and FREE!
In gratitude and love,