What does Silence do for life?

This is a recount of my own journey. I have no desire to convince but to invite to connect with the quietness in your heart, the most magical place on earth.

On 17th May 2023, I entered my very first silent retreat. I was, on the one hand, called for this practice since 2019 and on the other hand, there was so much resistance so that I sometimes joked that the pandemic perfectly orchestrated my escape from the plan to go to Japan for a 10-day Vapassana.

Nevertheless, I was carried by the flow towards 2022 when I was prepared to commit to practicing meditation and yoga. Yes, I “was prepared” by everything in life to be ready. It was not an intellectual decision at all. I had resisted yoga and mediation for as long as I knew about these two things even I knew intellectually they were “good” for a lot of things that mattered to me — health, ease discomfort of scoliosis, doing better in physical training and emotional stability.

When I heard word about this silent treat happening, a voice came to me, saying, “It’s time.” Without knowing any details — fees, dates, venue, I committed to it right away and asked for reservation for a spot.

I was anticipated. I was scared. I was unease. I started having second thought about it. I went ahead anyway because intuitively, I knew it was time even though I didn’t know time for what, really.

We all come from silence.

Our galaxy came into existence from silence (nothingness, void).

Our planet came into existence from silence.

The stones, sands, mountains, water on earth came into existence from silence.

The living life on earth came into existence from silence.

The way of the Universe and the Nature IS the way of life.

It was not difficult for me not to talk. I’ve been living quite seclusively ever since pandemic and could go days without making contacts with or speaking to a single soul. Being able to get alone with myself and enjoying my own company were things I’d cultivated since my early adulthood.

Only when I was sitting on the mat, cross-legged and listening to the guidance about Silence, did I know the depth of it.

**We all come from silence.

Everything of us comes from silence.**

I took it upon myself to practice the layers of silence, not only ceasing verbal communication but also ceasing the emergence of the desire to speak and of thoughts.

The desire to speak which arose from time to time faded pretty soon, especially when the phone was turned off, neither social media nor instant chats was an option.

The curious part was to observe where and how thoughts surfaced and how they desired to be expressed (in any form).

How surprising for me to find out for myself in a much more acute way of what occupied most of my mind most time of a day. The ones most loud were precisely the one I intellectually forced myself to let go the most. It was startling, at the same time, hopeful to witness this disarray and misalignment of self.

If it was only natural having thoughts bubbling up like the mind was a pot of boiling milk, how could I be with Silence?

The answer was in the question as so many other things about life. Simply BE WITH Silence.
Swami Veda described it quite fittingly. The waves of the ocean will never stop roaring and yet, if one dives under the ocean, he is always in the silence even though the waves continue the same.

So, I dived.

Whenever I found myself engaging with the thoughts or emotionally tangled with the desire of the thoughts to be expressed, I dived under.

At the beginning, of course, like every ocean diving beginner, I floated up uncontrollably or was drifted away in the current, disoriented. It was ok. I took a breath, readjusted myself and attempted the dive one more time and one more time.

I was in contact of the silence from which I came into being. It was a beautiful feeling, filled with light and love and nothing else.

I learned to discern my own desires of expression and what purpose of each desire truly served. I was given an opportunity to really take the driving wheel of what I breathed into the world.

Then, the silent retreat was over and everyone started talking again.

I talked and spoke but they were not the same.

There was a space opened up where I could, with more scrutiny, choose and decide and commit to what I breath into the world, which allowed me to stay in better alignment with my authentic self.

And when we are in contact and in alignment with our authentic self, what happens?

For me, less fear, less anger, less doubts — in short, the dis-serving mind activities reduced hugely.

And when our dis-serving mind activities diminish, what happens?

More concentrated. More calm. More open to joy and love. More flow.

I came out the silent retreat to see my reality realigned themselves with me.

The person I’ve been pitching for becoming my business partner was ready to be on board overnight. (Before the retreat, I was toying with the notion to probably have a plan B as I didn’t feel she would be ready any time soon.)

Some missing pieces in my coaching business I’d been grinding to get answers arrived to me during one of the meditation during. It was like the final missing piece of confidence in what I did came into place — the wholeness.

A staggered and yet dear relationship took an unexpected and drastic turn, opening up new opportunities to create more serving dynamic and for the first time in two years, the angst and fussing around it were gone.

I didn’t do anything business or relationship related activities obviously during and yet.

Yes, it was that magical as the wanders people talked about so much.

Yet, since then, I am mindful to focus my practice on staying with the silence even when I was talking to someone and on letting go the expectations of the silence.

We always say not to forget where we come from because that’s who we are.

**We all come from the same place, the silence.

We are all love and light.**

Be love and be loved. I am. You are.