At 6 years old my voice was taken from me. I screamed and cried to no avail as two male doctors forcibly held down a gas mask on my face for an operation I didn’t fully understand I was having. I can still recall the sensation of suffocating. After this incident, I started to believe that 1) Doctors (and people in general) cannot be trusted and 2) my voice and emotions don't matter. I was a happy kid, but seeds were planted to put up walls and hold back emotion (I'm also a Capricorn moon/Scorpio rising though so😂). I’ve spent countless hours of my life in hospitals being poked and prodded and viewed as nothing more than a “weird” object that doesn’t quite fit the mold.
This past weekend I attended an amazing breathwork workshop. I experienced an intense emotional release- I let myself feel it all to heal it all. I decided to rewrite my story where I was in control and my screams of “NO” actually meant something on that operating table. I decided it’s time to take my voice back. We all have the power to own our stories and take back control of our lives. We can choose not to live in fear and hold ourselves with compassion as we heal our wounded parts.
BTW, according to the various top medical professionals I’ve encountered over the past 25+ years: I have brain tumors (correct); I definitely don’t have brain tumors (incorrect); I need an operation right away; I should never be operated on; I will be blind/deaf; I have cancer; I will be “fine”; I should participate in risky clinical trials; I shouldn’t be able to balance; I should already be dead by now. Ironic that I’m alive and well and a yogi with great balance (on most days🙃).I don’t say any of this to discredit the western medical system- it can save your life and there are great physicians out there, but I am saying to use your discernment, seek out alternative/holistic treatments, do your own research, and don’t fall prey to white coat syndrome (research Stanley Milgram’s highly unethical yet necessary Shock Experiments). Never let anyone make you feel like you don’t have choice over your own body-that is quite frankly, bullshit. You hold more power than you know and it’s time to step into it🙏