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Move an Online Relationship to the Offline World

Aug 17, 2021

It is much easier to fool someone online than offline.

Online you can tell any person any story you want since all you need to do is typing the words.

While typing you can decide to beautify particular details or invent details to spice up your story.

I mean…who will find out right?

The level of anonymity makes it much easier to fool people. To manipulate people.

When you’re naive or haven’t experienced blunders online, you may find yourself believing a story a bit too quickly.

What’s different now in comparison to many years ago, is that video conversations are very common now.

Many years ago, it was normal to be talking, “falling in love”, and establishing a (romantic) relationship with someone while never having seen that person on video, let alone in real life.

We were sending each other photos of course, but enabling the webcam wasn’t always common.

As you’ve probably guessed, sending a photo is easy. Who will know if it is really you in that photo!?

You can easily send fake photos and the person won’t know.

Nowadays we video call and get to know each other that way.

Starting a romantic relationship online is the new normal, and I definitely support that.

What can be troubling, is when people keep their engagement online.

Of course, now with the pandemic, it is much harder to meet each other in the real world.

But even in a time where people could only associate corona with a beer brand, people often hesitate to meet offline.

Meeting someone in the offline world is vital.

You will want to put yourself in a position where you can feel that person’s energy and witness their body language, attitude, and behavior.

I’ve heard people say they are in love and have a girlfriend or boyfriend for 2 years, but have never met in real life yet.

Some couples that do finally decide to meet in person, find themselves disappointed in each other due to a mismatch between the actual person and the person they thought they were.

The click just isn’t there somehow. Not that this happens all the time of course.

There are many success stories of people who meet online and end up in marriage.

Do keep in mind: do your best to meet the person you’ve met in the virtual world in the real world.

When you meet someone on Tinder or Bumble for example, make sure you go for that first date as quickly as possible.

Not that you should ask the person to meet up after 2 text messages, but after a few days of exchanging text messages which represent mutual interest, you will want to ask that question.

Ask that simple question: let’s meet up for a coffee?

You can only go to the next level in your relationship when you have been in each other’s company.

When you have embraced one another and when you have looked in each other’s eyes without a screen in your midst.

Don’t assume that technology can help you with everything.

Screens won’t be always around to save you.

Rely on yourself and be confident that the person will like the real you and vice versa in real life.

When someone is reluctant to meet you and keeps making excuses why they are not able to, something is up.

Be firm with the standards you uphold for yourself and don’t kid yourself while trying to ignore the red alerts.

Be careful not to be all in love while thinking your boyfriend or girlfriend you’ve met online is perfect, it is easy to display “perfection” online.

It is easy to come up with your own story.

No wonder why so many people are manipulated and realize this too late, unfortunately.

Stay sharp, stay vigilant, and understand that unless you have met the person in real life, you have a mere online romantic relationship which should only be a temporary status.

Confirm that relationship and your feelings for that person in the offline aka real world.

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Johan Versteegh
May 27, 2024, 08:00
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