I don’t subscribe to the new trend against positivity. I also don’t believe in the concept of “toxic positivity”. 🤫

Personally - I don’t think the words toxic and positive belong together. And I’m not in favor of referring to any form of positivity as “toxic”. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Because in my opinion - it’s not the positivity that’s toxic. It’s the deliberate avoidance, suppression and minimizing of someone’s emotion - whether that’s your own emotions or someone else’s - that’s actually toxic.

Not the effort to remain positive during the process. Sometimes that’s just a natural survival instinct that kicks in for some people to help them better understand and process the emotion.

And in my experience, a person can authentically and successfully process even the most negative of emotion while still being a positive force. They are not always mutually exclusive. Of course there may be moments..even days…when they might be mutually exclusive as we move through extreme heaviness- but they don’t always have to be.

I’ve seen countless friends and mentors move and process HEAVY emotion out of their system and help others do the same while still maintaining a positive outlook on life. Their positivity in the most difficult of circumstances has never felt toxic to me. Quite frankly, it has been an inspiration. 🙌

And their positivity isn’t a byproduct or result of them burying their emotion. Quite the opposite. It arises out of their courage and willingness to run head first into that emotion and feel it - fully. Without losing their positivity. That’s the difference between simply trying to “be positive” and letting yourself EXPERIENCE positivity.

And people who experience positivity aren’t just “being positive”. They are the flesh and blood embodiment of positivity itself. ✨

Their positivity is part of who they are at their very core. These incredible humans who I am lucky enough to be able to have as friends have somehow learned to be positive despite their troubles and actually - BECAUSE of their troubles.

They’re not toxic – they’re magic. 💫

So can we please stop villainizing people who have somehow cultivated the ability to face, process and address all of their emotions in a healthy manner, and still come across as positive despite the pain they may be experiencing??

In my view – the ability to maintain a positive outlook while dealing with negative or challenging situations is the true definition of resiliency (which is another word taking a beating right now but that’ll be a post for another day).

For those who truly embody positivity, it continues to exist even in the depths of despair. And in their world, even in the midst of extreme sadness, positivity can be the match that lights the flame that eventually lights their way back out of the darkness. 💥

I know some incredible and inspiring people who inhabit more inner strength, resiliency -and you guessed it, positivity than they “should” according to some people.

And yet they do.

I choose to see them not as toxic but as lighthouses that continue to shine for all of us even when the skies and waters around them are pitch black. It takes a special person to be that bright of a light.

And personally, I’m grateful for knowing people who are willing to be that light in my life.🙏💕

As always,

Afsheen