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How different do you think your life would be if you focused more on the things that ARE working?

Feb 7, 2023
Afsheen Shah
Core Spirit member since Aug 13, 2022
Reading time 2 min.

How different do you think your life would be if you focused more on the things that ARE working out for you and less on the ones that aren't?

Since the time we are little we’re taught to focus on where we fall short.

In school, papers mark what you got wrong - not what you got right.

In the workplace reviews usually focus on where you need to improve with little emphasis (if any) on what you’re doing right.

Even in relationships, I constantly hear people complain that their significant other is always finding their flaws.

It’s no wonder most of us are constantly focusing on what’s wrong and needs improvement as opposed to what’s right and should be celebrated and cultivated. Our whole life we’re trained and conditioned to look for the problems - in ourselves, our lives and even in other people.

I was recently working with a client who mentioned she felt as if she was wasting her life because she hadn’t had any “real” wins in a while and was still years away from reaching her financial goals.

She felt depleted, depressed and discouraged. And as much as she hated feeling that way, she also didn’t know how to change it.

The answer was actually pretty simple, she needed to shift her focus from how far she still had to go to how far she had already come. The problem was she was so focused on the things she was doing “wrong” in life that she was missing all the things that she was doing RIGHT.

In his book “The Gap and the Gain”, Benjamin Hardy talks about how unhappy successful people tend to focus on the gap between where they are as compared to where they want to be, while happy successful people focus on the progress - and gains - they’ve made since they first started.

By focusing on what she hadn’t achieved, my client was keeping herself trapped in the gap. To get her out of the gap, we started a “gains list”.

Every day at the end of the day my client reflected on at least one thing that had gone well for her or moved her forward in some way. And it didn’t even have to relate directly to her goal. As long as she had gained something from it, it went on the list.

And everything that went on the list got celebrated. It didn’t take long for her to shift her focus OFF the things she felt were going wrong and onto everything that was RIGHT.

Her mood changed, her attitude changed, even the way she showed upon our calls started to change.

She was energized, radiant and hopeful. Exactly the opposite of our first call together.

My invitation to you today is to take a few minutes to reflect on your own gains and what they mean to you. Take some time to appreciate your progress and thank yourself for all the work you've done to get to exactly where you are right this minute.

It seems like a simple concept but the effects can be life changing.

I would love to hear about your gains and what you’re feeling proud of! So drop a comment below and let me know what’s going on YOUR gain list today.


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