Thank you so much for your supportive and encouraging words and for your question. Sometimes where there is narcissistic patterns very little, if anything can be achieved apart from getting out…however I DO believe in miracles and hope was the only thing that drove me to at least try in my own relationship. What I understand from my journey is that at least if the relationship cannot be transformed, then at least I can be and that I will not make the same choices I have made that attracts others to abuse me. So YES I do believe she could understand what is happening and then choose what she wants to do about it. However how this impacts her husband is unseen. We cannot change another, we can only change ourselves, AND if the other wants to hang around then that is a bonus as he will have made some changes too…If he is not willing to embrace our changes then he will ship out. I hope this helps.