A common complaint I hear from clients is they feel as if they are lacking meaningful connections. They don’t want to spend time in conversations that are just “surface level”. They want depth, meaning and substance.
I get it, I crave those things also.
A big part of cultivating more meaningful and fulfilling relationships with others (and ultimately creating a more meaningful and fulfilled life) involves knowing when - and how - to have difficult conversations with others. But before we can truly lean into difficult conversations with other, we need to be willing to have difficult conversations ourself.
After all, YOU are the most impactful person in your life on a daily basis. And the conversations you're having with yourself can often determine the level of success you're experiencing...or not experiencing. Both in life, and in your relationships with others.
This means asking yourself some pretty tough questions when a situation or relationship feels challenging. Not sure what to ask yourself?
Here’s a few prompts to help you start that conversation:
1. What are you pretending not to know?
2. What are you gaining from pretending not to know it- in other words what are you avoiding by pretending to not know?
3. What needs to change now that you know the truth?
These questions have always helped guide me through stressful and challenging situations. And while the process of answering these questions isn't always easy, it will likely be pretty eye opening. And in my experience, just starting the inner dialogue, and reflecting on what the answers might be can help you show up more powerfully and authentically, both for yourself and for others.
So chat away - and let me know how it worked out for you!
Great article and it hit home. What am I pretending not to know usually means I don't maybe like the action I need to take... made me think.