Since I could remember I've been a people-pleaser. I liked making others happy and smile. When I was at a very young age I learned that telling the truth usually got me in trouble and lying usually made the other person happy. Now in my later years I often wonder why that is. Why do people rather be told what they want to hear and not the truth for what it is? Eventually I stopped wondering and started paying attention to the actual reality of it- it's a form of coping.
Most people don't like the truth for what it is, and on top of that if you do like the truth you're probably either a loner or you don't have a big circle of friends.
I used to have A LOT of friends in my life from different background and walks of life. Now I have 2 friends that live out of state and 3 friends that live in town. I only see 1 regularly. The difference between now and 5 years ago is that quality of people I allow in my life. Those who truly know me accept me for who I am and my rawness as a person and friend.
While I'm still a people-pleaser, I've worked very hard on improving why and how I people please. I don't go out of my way anymore to do things for others. If it's a small thing that could help someone out or make their day a little better I will do it but I make sure I do something for myself first. If my cup isn't full I cannot put energy into filling someone else's cup. I don't look at myself as I need constant improvement because fact of the matter is I honestly don't see anything wrong with me on a personal level or how I operate with others.
I personally feel I'm a great person. Sure everyone has flaws but the actions I make are from and with my heart. Not from a place of greed or selfishness. I also no longer do something just to be accepted or for someone else to be happy with me.
Through all the life lessons people-pleasing gave me, I learned I love MYSELF more. I would rather pay attention to myself more than what someone else asks of me. I finally feel more myself than I ever have in the past. My thoughts are much more calmer and less stressful because I solely focus on myself and not what other's ask of me. I don't portray myself as perfect, while in the past I definitely tried to be.
When you love yourself more, life tends to be that much more enjoyable.
Leave your questions here
Yes you are right! It is very important for all of us to start paying attention to the inner Self. Through understanding ourselves, we can learn to understand those around us, for we are all human.