As a middle aged woman I have overcome a lot of obstacles and have had to deal with different life changes, some good and some bad. I’ve been through divorces, grief, empty nest syndrome, depression and PTSD, money problems plus much more and this has taken it’s toll on my mind body and soul.
Although I’ve reached this lovely perfect age where I could finally be myself in the truest form I felt lost and bewildered. My skin, body and hair had all changed beyond recognition and I saw my mother and grandmother looking back at me in the mirror. Although they were beautiful women it shocked me that I had become their age, in my mind they were old and I was a lot younger.
So, my journey began – I asked myself repeatedly who am I? But I couldn’t get an answer, I’d been every woman to everyone else and I’d forgotten who I was.
I found old photos of myself and mourned who I used to be whilst simultaneously laughing at what I was wearing and my trendy hairstyle. But I looked at myself and realised I was still wearing those same style clothes and the same hairstyle, but my hair was lighter than it used to be, more grey. Aaaagggh!!
So first things first before I dared go outside to find myself I had to look inwards to meet the new me and learn to accept her. Surely she deserved to be loved and looked after, after all she had took all the knocks of my life and she looked so despondent stood there looking at me with pleading in her eyes to set her free.
Does this resonate with you? I went on a very exciting holistic journey to find myself without leaving my home and found a new different me who found long buried interests that defined who I was. I built on these findings and created a version of me with multi facets where I can be mum, nana, partner, coach and friend but on my terms. The best part of my time is spent on being me and doing what makes me happy.
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Thank you Amelia for reading my post. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way, but I agree with you this turning point is a gift, it really does give us freedoms we never had the courage to pursue when we were younger, plus we are more worldly wise by this age. But unfortunately there are women out there who don't see the hidden gift due to life's traumas and I think its every woman's right to feel great.
that is exactly how I felt when I was around 50… But now I understand that my age now is a kind of gift because I do not need to think a lot about my children, career etc. I can live just for myself. That is a great feeling I would say.