- Detachment is living one’s own life while letting friends and family live as they choose
At first glance, we would all likely say we can do that. But the fact of the matter is that most of us try, not very subtly, to make others live as we choose. We may have forgotten that everyone has their own agenda to live through. When we interfere we disrupt the learning that our companions have been sent here to go through.
Also, we cannot do what we ourselves are meant to perform and learn while focusing so much on the lives of those around us. We travel together and move in parallel courses.
2. Detachment is never letting someone else dictate how we think, feel, or behave.
We don’t have a life of our own when we abdicate responsibility for ourselves to others. Being detached and in charge solely of your own life is your life’s assignment.
3. Detachment realizes our lives are not dependent upon what others are doing
We can live parallel and complementary lives without smothering each other’s journey. Living with others does not mean living on top of each other. Living in a community, and not in isolation is the path to healing.
4. Detachment frees up our time
Coming to see detachment as letting go, releasing others to make their own choices, their own mistakes, and realizing their own dreams, initially can feel like loneliness. Releasing yourself from excessive worry about others’ lives can leave an empty spot in your life if you have been controlling. But detachment can let you refocus on yourself and lead more deeply into your own path.
5. Detachment means celebrating and acknowledging another’s unique journey.
Living lives in parallel does not mean constantly keeping tabs on another person. It means encouraging each individual we encounter to live their own lives and not set ourselves up as an example of how to live best. It is recognizing we are each on our own journey and have individual lessons to learn and walkthrough.
- Detachment is not putting someone else on a high pedestal
When you detach someone, you are not going to put them on a high pedestal. You are going to see them for who they really are- without the illusions of grandeur that you placed on the person when you were with them. The feeling of detachment is more like stepping back and evaluating a person’s worth- not being attached to the emotions that came before this process.
I have been overly independent my life and I am trying to do the opposite: become more attached and connected to the communities around me without being consumed. It's a hard balance because I used to view independence as a great thing and detachment was easy but when I worked on consciousness, I felt the opposite: I felt overly connected to things that didn't serve me out of being at one with everything. This is a very fine line to walk on: interdependence.