Namaskaram,

Who I am isn’t that important.

My name is definitely not important, This is my most painful story. Which sets the tone for how I can help.

I was working as a programmer. I was lacking a loving partner in my life, something I never had my whole life, I was too scared to even approach a girl, let alone get a date, so I decided to get heavily into self-development. I began knowledge seeking, working out, doing things I was scared to do my whole life, like approaching girls. Everything was perfect at that time. I was feeling on top of the world and in constant flow with life. There was no hesitation about anything.

Then came the fateful day where I had to confront my greatest fear, my father. See, I hadn’t spoken to my father for at least 2 years prior to that day but I was still dependent on him. I got home and he was just yelling at my older brother, it was kind of routine for him. I hated it, it made me feel horrible hearing him. I couldn’t bear it. My brother’s well-being was at stake here, so I made the courageous decision to confront him. He was in my living room, my resolve broke immediately when I saw him. So I went straight for the bathroom. I spent a few minutes there trying to bring back my resolve. My heart was pounding and my breath was heavy. I exited and confronted him. We got into the most intense argument of my life. We were shouting at the top of our lungs. I was like why are you doing this, this isn’t right. You keep doing this. It’s not helping. After a few minutes of arguing, he says this sentence that completely broke me. He was like “why do I need you, if I have a thousand people like you”, I was in absolute shock, I broke, I left the conversation. I went to my room thinking, How could be say that to me? I was his son. Didn’t he love me?

From that day forward I started to slow down and began a slow descent into a downward spiral. I stopped exercising and lost my self confidence but kept striving for self improvement. I unknowingly started developing addictive habits, with weed, porn, video game etc. Two months later I decided to move out. I got my own apartment then eventually quit my job. I was failing at every new project I started. A few months later I moved in with some friends. I remember being in the apartment and doing dishes and just wanting to die. The pain was still in me and was starting to take its toll. I was getting really tired and depressed. My life became a living hell. I had this pain of rejection bottled and I’m too scared to feel it.

I was non-stop seeking pleasure to feel good. At one point I kept chasing orgasms and they became less fulfilling, eventually I could barely feel anything. I was like now what? Then I had an enlightenment experience. For two weeks after that I was in deep peace. But the worst for me had yet to come.

In the coming months, my depression got deeper and deeper, my will to live was non-existent but I was hanging on to dear life. My addictive behavior got worse. I went back home because I couldn’t maintain healthy relationships with anyone. Everyone I met I would leak my suffering to. I stopped meeting friends and stop going out. I was still desperately looking for a solution. I then stumbled upon yoga, I took a course, but didn’t have the will to keep up a daily practice.

I then made my way to a nearby ashram, the Sivananda Yoga Camp. I spent a few months there, I was in complete misery most of my time there. I had found people who were like me on the spiritual path and trying to heal. I’ve been keeping up a daily practice since and feel better than ever. I’ve re-learned how to cry and forgiven my father. I no longer fear pain.

I’m at a place now here I can help people who have been through a similar experience, so they don’t have to suffer like I did. I’m offering online coaching services for this reason. If this resonates with you, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

I appreciate you taking the time to read. Thank you!

What Grief is …
What Grief is not…

Grief and Grieving support for anyone wanting to integrate Grief into their lives.

Grief integration happens as we talk, press on points, listen and be with whatever you have.

Includes:

• How to lose weight in alignment with who you are and your beliefs
• Personalized Nutritional Summary
• Custom Recipes for Your Tastes & Personal Needs

You deserve to come out of your physical suffering, this is a safe place for you to get healed.
In this healing modality I deal with your energy body, which is just a few inches beyond your physical body.
Since both the bodies are attached to each other, treating the energy body heals the physical body simaltaneously.