How much we make, how we respond to stressful situations, mental illness, our personality, and level of success are all things that run in the family.
“It’s just the way it is.” or “It’s just how things are.” are statements I hear all too often when it comes to these things.
Oh, it runs in the family so that’s just how it is, but is it really?
One of the biggest kept secrets is that we can change, we can change and heal for good, breaking generational patterns, and create new paradigms for ourselves and those to come a head of us. I know because I have healed a pattern of mental illness that ran in my family for many generations. My healing journey continues to other aspects of my life, but I know from first hand experience that it is possible.
The secret lies in our minds, the brain is placid, which means it can change and form new pathways, and even adults can change patterns that have been engraved there.
The Neuroscience Behind Mindset
Imagine a field of grass and then imagine a pathway in the grass. The pathway became a path over years of walking the same way. Over time, the grass folded over and created a clear pathway. What happens if you stop walking on that path? It’d take some time, but the grass would eventually grow back and you’d never know there was a path there. You can start walking new paths and create new pathways, new connections in the brain that make new ways of being automatic and easy after the path has been worn.
So, the big secret is that you can literally decide who you want to be.
Up until recently, on my entrepreneurial journey I had always had a side job. I was scared to make the leap 100%. My brain told me I couldn’t support myself, I needed backup just in case, really, it came down to not believing I was truly worthy of this life. I had years of believing that college was the way to a career and lacked confidence in myself and my gifts. Believing I was not worthy was a path I had walked many times. I walked it in past relationships, in opportunities I didn’t pursue, and in settling many times before. It was engrained.
Just because something is engrained in you, doesn’t mean it has to stay like that.
3 Tips to Shift Now and Create New Pathways
1.Build Rapport with Your Subconscious Mind: These patterns are held in the subconscious, so we must go there to rewire. Your subconscious holds all of your experiences, even inherited ones, and is designed to protect you. If you’ve tried speaking up for yourself and got shot down in the past, your subconscious will send you signals not to do that again and create a pathway to keep you safe. You have to get your subconscious on board with what you want or you will fight it the whole way and this usually leads to self-sabotage or not taking action at all. How can you start to build rapport, get to know, and start to rewire your subconscious? Hypnosis, meditation, and visualizations are my favorite places to start because they are so effective in getting into the subconscious mind. They provide a safe, comfortable place for you to rewire and practice taking action.
2. Be Mindful of Your Self Talk: Becoming aware of our patterns and shifting them all day long seems like a daunting task. We all have an internal guidance system, your emotions, use them to know when to shift. One of my favorite ways to shift is using a thought journal. Simply, keep a journal where you can write down your unhelpful thoughts, see them, release them, and then rewrite them into your new truth. Speak to yourself like you are the most important person in the world, like you are your own very best friend. Affirmations can work wonders when they are compelling, believable, and aligned to us and what we are after. Create ones or find ones that speak to you directly. Use them in meditation or say them out loud in a power pose daily. The more you practice, the more it gets engrained in the subconscious.
3. Release the Old Shit: Release work is important when you are creating new pathways. We must create room for the new. Using something like the thought journal can provide a daily release. You can also release old patterns and beliefs through meditation and working with the subconscious mind. One of my clients’ favorite ways to release is to write a letter and then burn it safely in a fire. It can be a powerful ceremony you can do for yourself.
It comes down to bringing awareness to our patterns and blocks, releasing the old, healing ourselves with acceptance, forgiveness, and love, & aligning with what we truly desire. Mindset is not fixed. You truly do get to decide to be a creator of your life!