Reclaim your Self-Expression
Once, there existed a realm of innocence in which the spirit soared boundlessly. You were but a little soul, full of delightful clumsiness and playful silliness, yet you revelled in the freedom of your self-expression. Your laughter resonated from the depths of your being, the tears were rivers of genuine emotion that can not be contained. Unrestrained and fearless, you bared your soul to everyone, embracing every aspect of yourself with open arms.
But as time marched on, a shift occurred and concerns about how you appear to others began to emerge. Self-consciousness took hold, and new desires to appear smart, wise, and faultless emerged.
We human beings are kind of wired to be admired. We want to look good. We want people to think well of us. — Werner Erhard
Now it no longer seemed appropriate to express your emotions fully just as they arose. As self-doubt took a seat by your side, casting its shadows of hesitation you began to hold yourself back, second-guessing every expression. You became cautious, reluctant to reveal all of yourself to others. Even your expressions of love and admiration became cautious and restrained, and not as free expressions of the heart.
And so, today, you have honed the art of eloquence, masterfully discussing important topics, but the real you remains hidden. Even when your impressive articulations and knowledge win you admiration, deep down, you feel that no one really gets you. The outward confidence conceals the self-doubts and vulnerabilities underneath.
You have held yourself back for so long that you wonder if you can still let yourself go. If you can even remember the taste of complete self-expression, the exhilaration of unbridled release.
There is a yearning for someone who can truly see and accept the real you, someone who loves and supports you unconditionally without the need for impressing or convincing.
Yet, amidst the ebb and flow of life, there are rare, precious moments when you set yourself free and let others witness your humanity — your ordinary weaknesses, vulnerabilities, anxieties and needs. In those extraordinary instances, you unabashedly reveal the raw, imperfect beauty of your humanness. You speak your truth without swallowing your words, without holding back and set yourself free to laugh as loud as it comes and cry if the tears come. Sometimes embrace the same old naughtiness and innocence, and love is expressed fearlessly.
Recently, I had the joyful privilege of experiencing this breathtaking transformation in a workshop where together, we embarked on a sacred journey to explore the heights of our potential as human beings.
First, we confronted the barriers that hold us back from daring to be the best we can be as parents, spouses and work colleagues. Our fears, the patterns of our past and our self-doubts.
Then, we forged a pact to face them together. Took a committed stand to support each other, as everyone dares to aim for our highest and best ways of being.
Next, we contemplated the kind of openness and supportive energy we needed between us to explore our highest potential and commit to it. We vowed to cocreate it and nurture between us a space of openness, ease and generosity in which everyone would listen from their hearts to support and appreciate other’s little steps of self-development.
In the safety of this space of deep human connections and intimacy, authenticity began to emerge and flourish. Someone began sharing their human vulnerabilities and frailties — the aspects of ourselves that usually remain concealed from the world. It encouraged others. I shared the lighthearted tale of my wife’s loving gesture, gifting me a new suit for the workshop, only for us to forget to have my trousers tailored, leaving me with comically long pants as I now stood leading the discussion. Then, another courageous soul shared the tales of their humble beginnings, once a source of embarrassment that now became a testament to their strength. A remarkable woman unmasked her inner struggles, revealing the mismatch between her tough exterior and the tender heart that resided within.
Can you fathom the energy of profound ease, genuine connection and authenticity that permeated the room?
Everyone was free, deeply connected and committed to our highest ways of being human. All that was left to do was to fill in the details — turn them into small steps and simple goals.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough.”— Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
As we embark on the journey of complete self-expression, we must cultivate acceptance and love for every facet of our being. Particularly embracing those parts of ourselves, our roots, or our past that we have judged poorly or held in low esteem.
As soon as we are open about what we fear might embarrass us, they lose significance. Such things have power over us only as long as we give them significance by keeping them hidden. Authentic sharing of our vulnerabilities instantly sets us free.
“The truth will set you free. It will kick your ass first, but then it will set you free.” — Brene Brown
Try it. In the boundlessness of your self-expression, your heart shall soar, ignited by the energies of authenticity. Your willingness to be vulnerable will encourage so many others to explore new freedom in openness.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.” — Brene Brown
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