I was between 6–8 years old when I first questioned my own existence. I was walking to the park when I stopped to tie my shoe and I came into full awareness with the bone on my ankle.
That’s the first time the thoughts of “what is this? who am I? what am I doing here?” came to my conscious mind. I found it to be fascinating and intriguing, but I didn’t really think about it for a long time because I got sucked into my everyday life of being a kid, school, play, and so on.
But throughout my life I’ve had short glimpses of being fully aware and those glimpses would amaze me.
Another fascinating time was when I was in a car passing some mountains, I felt an expansion of consciousness and came to realize how I was able to perceive the mountains being far away and able to view them through a set of eyes, even fit the whole mountain between my fingers if I squint an eye but if I’d be standing in that mountain, it would be impossible to view it the same way, nor fit it between my fingers.
I felt a strong and powerful connection with that mountain as if it was part of me and feelings of gratitude just poured into my consciousness while the mind remained quiet and at peace.
As a grown up, I've come to realize these realizations happen when the mind completely quiets down, and your consciousness see’s the outside world directly, without the mind getting in the way.
The mind blinds us by creating concepts, labels, images, judgements, words, and definitions which blocks us from actually seeing and realizing the magic that is out there.
This might sound like woo woo but when you come to realize this with your consciousness and not just your mind, it gives you the impression of, “Holy shit! I’m alive! I’m really here!” and you start having questions like, “Where do I come from? Why am I here? What am I? What is existence?”
Unfortunately, most people’s consciousness is still asleep and they’re only able to see with their minds, which it doesn’t really see; it only creates perspectives.
I believe a lot of people get these glimpses of full awareness, but some might fall into fear and quickly cover that up with mind stuff. They might immediately grab their phone or turn on the TV to distract themselves, grab that alcoholic drink, or go to their doctor but be labeled as crazy and get prescribed with medication like Xanax for example.
But even doctors have their consciousness asleep and only operate with their minds blinding them from the truth. Just my opinion, but I really believe some people that end up in mental asylum institutions are just individuals that wake up and come into full awareness of their consciousness but are perceived as crazy by the sleepers that are still enslaved by their mind.
The mind supposed to be a tool just like our legs. We use our legs to take us from point A to point B and then they rest. Our minds supposed to have the same purpose, only be used to complete a specific task and then put it to rest, connecting us back to the present moment.
But instead, the mind has been manipulated to take control over our present moment 24/7. The mind takes us to the past or to the future. Depression grows when we have thoughts of the past, and anxiety grows when we have thoughts of the future. None of those exist, what you are suffering in the present moment is your memory and your imagination.
In the present moment, everything is already perfect as is, in the present moment, depression, anxiety, fear, sadness, boredom, stress, suffering, and all the lower emotions cannot exist because the mind is what creates all of those lower emotions.
The mind is what creates hell keeping you from realizing that you’re already in heaven. There’s absolutely nothing to fear, the mind is what creates that illusion.