An article published in USA Today last July posed the question: Why are mass shooters getting younger and deadlier? The statistics and available research showed we have a serious problem in case we hadn't noticed ---

This article provided articulate proof of where the simplest — and actually easiest/hardest — solution to a grave problem lies. We all need to be Seen and Heard, it’s a basic human need. It’s worse at adolescence, thus the rise in teen suicide. Parents are at a loss, mired in their own emotional states, or simply at a loss about what to do.

The question is, do we deny, minimize or otherwise ignore another person’s pain? Does our own pain get in the way of our even noticing someone else’s? Do we judge, criticize, ridicule? Or do we approach others — or even ourselves first?! — with an openhearted desire to understand, to hold space for, to See and Hear what another is experiencing? Do we do even do it for ourselves, let alone for others in our immediate surroundings? Our families? Our neighborhoods? at work? Anyplace there are People?

Because at our very core, we all need to be Acknowledged and Validated for what we are experiencing, moment to moment. And if that doesn’t happen, pain results. And unanswered pain escalates into more extreme emotions which lead to extreme reactions. At some point, we lose a connection to reality, we can’t see the damage we cause — usually first with our violent words. If that still doesn’t work, we escalate further.

This same dynamic plays out in our everyday lives, in our relationships with others, at home, at work, at school. It’s the tip of the iceberg and the root of our problems from smallest to biggest. We need to Love ourselves and one another more, It’s as simple as that.

The article says: “Just a decade or two ago, most mass shooters in the United States were disgruntled employees who shot up their workplace or killed acquaintances or family members after they snapped from anger or stress.”

This was a canary in our mine and we missed the root problem, the same human dynamic we see in younger shooters today. These disgruntled employees were in emotional pain; they didn’t feel seen and heard, acknowledged or validated for their experience. They may have been told they should just get over it, or whatever caused their job loss was their own fault. If they were judged, dismissed or ridiculed, their pain increased to the point of no return, self-destruction and whoever else they could take with them.

Now these young shooters have the added negative reinforcement of social media, and it’s coming from a dark place — not a place of Love. We learned in Star Wars — yes, learned, Everything is a Lesson — that the Dark Side has power, too (did you think George Lucas thought it all up?). But Love is the stronger energy and we need to employ it. We need to actively invite Love into every situation, interaction.

Love is an energy that has to flow outward from within us. Many (most, including me) have to first learn how to see, hear, acknowledge and validate Ourselves before getting better at turning that energy outward. Think about it, does anything block you from being compassionately openhearted to all other human beings? Blocks are another discussion (the greatest being disbelief in Love), but for now the urgency is the need to infuse our World with Love in all its inherent, immense power. Away from the debates, we have the opportunity every day to do so.

This happened just last week, getting ready for our 4th of July gathering. I had already been to two different stores on as many days and was once again back for what I hoped was a few final ingredients. I was on the last aisle perusing the refrigerator section when I noticed a woman in a motorized cart who seemed to need help reaching something. I sympathized with her, remembering my broken leg experience and offered to help.

She was grateful, thanked me and then launched into her story of what happened to her. I had enough presence to allow her to speak but it was a long, l-o-n-g story. Rather than a recent injury, it involved perceived medical malpractice from years ago with many difficult surrounding circumstances. My belly tightened with impatience. When it appeared there was no end in sight, I advocated for my own belly by asking myself how I could validate her experience.

The words came to me, “Wow, that is a terrible story!” Part of me thought that was a terrible thing to say!, but it seemed to please her. I followed up with “You’ve been suffering through this for a very long time!” as I began to move away (I didn’t say there were no boundaries to openheartedness!). As I left her, I sincerely offered her my best wishes for more comfort in the future.” It felt like a satisfactory energy exchange. We need to start seeing our interactions from this perspective. Energy flows outward and then back inward. It’s the old what you put out comes back to you from a scientific point of view. Science is only beginning to measure this, look it up.

This simple dynamic — being present for our own and others’ experience — can go a very long way in bringing more Love — the highest positive frequency — into our world. We need a tipping point of Love to counter negativity. I have gotten so sensitive to it that I cannot tolerate any level of violence in language — especially when it unconsciously comes from my own mouth or brain.

The Beatles tried to teach us this! Did we not revere them? Why have we not taken their message to heart? Just look at the lyrics to their song “Love is All You Need.” It’s a veritable mantra of Love and we listen to it and sing it over and over again. Now let’s do it. Our World is depending on it.

All You Need Is Love, The Beatles

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known Nothing you can see that isn’t shown There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need
Yesterday (love is all you need)
Oh Love is all you need
Love is all you need (oh yeah)
Love is all you need (She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah) (She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Love is all you need) (Love is all you need)

Songwriters: Lennon John Winston, Mccartney Paul James. For non-commercial use only.