Betsy Ern

An article published in USA Today last July posed the question: Why are mass shooters getting younger and deadlier? The statistics and available research showed we have a serious problem in case we hadn't noticed ---

This article provided articulate proof of where the simplest — and actually easiest/hardest — solution to a grave problem lies. We all need to be Seen and Heard, it’s a basic human need. It’s worse at adolescence, thus the rise in teen suicide. Parents are at a loss, mired in their own emotional states, or simply at a loss about what to do.

The question is, do we deny, minimize or otherwise ignore another person’s pain? Does our own pain get in the way of our even noticing someone else’s? Do we judge, criticize, ridicule? Or do we approach others — or even ourselves first?! — with an openhearted desire to understand, to hold space for, to See and Hear what another is experiencing? Do we do even do it for ourselves, let alone for others in our immediate surroundings? Our families? Our neighborhoods? at work? Anyplace there are People?

Because at our very core, we all need to be Acknowledged and Validated for what we are experiencing, moment to moment. And if that doesn’t happen, pain results. And unanswered pain escalates into more extreme emotions which lead to extreme reactions. At some point, we lose a connection to reality, we can’t see the damage we cause — usually first with our violent words. If that still doesn’t work, we escalate further.

This same dynamic plays out in our everyday lives, in our relationships with others, at home, at work, at school. It’s the tip of the iceberg and the root of our problems from smallest to biggest. We need to Love ourselves and one another more, It’s as simple as that.

The article says: “Just a decade or two ago, most mass shooters in the United States were disgruntled employees who shot up their workplace or killed acquaintances or family members after they snapped from anger or stress.”

This was a canary in our mine and we missed the root problem, the same human dynamic we see in younger shooters today. These disgruntled employees were in emotional pain; they didn’t feel seen and heard, acknowledged or validated for their experience. They may have been told they should just get over it, or whatever caused their job loss was their own fault. If they were judged, dismissed or ridiculed, their pain increased to the point of no return, self-destruction and whoever else they could take with them.

Now these young shooters have the added negative reinforcement of social media, and it’s coming from a dark place — not a place of Love. We learned in Star Wars — yes, learned, Everything is a Lesson — that the Dark Side has power, too (did you think George Lucas thought it all up?). But Love is the stronger energy and we need to employ it. We need to actively invite Love into every situation, interaction.

Love is an energy that has to flow outward from within us. Many (most, including me) have to first learn how to see, hear, acknowledge and validate Ourselves before getting better at turning that energy outward. Think about it, does anything block you from being compassionately openhearted to all other human beings? Blocks are another discussion (the greatest being disbelief in Love), but for now the urgency is the need to infuse our World with Love in all its inherent, immense power. Away from the debates, we have the opportunity every day to do so.

This happened just last week, getting ready for our 4th of July gathering. I had already been to two different stores on as many days and was once again back for what I hoped was a few final ingredients. I was on the last aisle perusing the refrigerator section when I noticed a woman in a motorized cart who seemed to need help reaching something. I sympathized with her, remembering my broken leg experience and offered to help.

She was grateful, thanked me and then launched into her story of what happened to her. I had enough presence to allow her to speak but it was a long, l-o-n-g story. Rather than a recent injury, it involved perceived medical malpractice from years ago with many difficult surrounding circumstances. My belly tightened with impatience. When it appeared there was no end in sight, I advocated for my own belly by asking myself how I could validate her experience.

The words came to me, “Wow, that is a terrible story!” Part of me thought that was a terrible thing to say!, but it seemed to please her. I followed up with “You’ve been suffering through this for a very long time!” as I began to move away (I didn’t say there were no boundaries to openheartedness!). As I left her, I sincerely offered her my best wishes for more comfort in the future.” It felt like a satisfactory energy exchange. We need to start seeing our interactions from this perspective. Energy flows outward and then back inward. It’s the old what you put out comes back to you from a scientific point of view. Science is only beginning to measure this, look it up.

This simple dynamic — being present for our own and others’ experience — can go a very long way in bringing more Love — the highest positive frequency — into our world. We need a tipping point of Love to counter negativity. I have gotten so sensitive to it that I cannot tolerate any level of violence in language — especially when it unconsciously comes from my own mouth or brain.

The Beatles tried to teach us this! Did we not revere them? Why have we not taken their message to heart? Just look at the lyrics to their song “Love is All You Need.” It’s a veritable mantra of Love and we listen to it and sing it over and over again. Now let’s do it. Our World is depending on it.

All You Need Is Love, The Beatles

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known Nothing you can see that isn’t shown There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need
Yesterday (love is all you need)
Oh Love is all you need
Love is all you need (oh yeah)
Love is all you need (She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah) (She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Love is all you need) (Love is all you need)

Songwriters: Lennon John Winston, Mccartney Paul James. For non-commercial use only.

“Let Your Heart Lead” is a slight shift from “Follow Your Heart” in that it instructs “How to” do so. It is an action taken from within, an inquiry into the Heart while requesting that your thinking, analyzing, planning and controlling egoic parts take a back seat from their usual jobs.

Leading through the Heart requires a belief in the limitless Power of the Heart, the power of Love, the divine essence, which has the much bigger perspective. The energy of Love allows one to see well beyond what the individual human or even a human collective can perceive without the Heart’s involvement.

Love can perceive beyond the What, Where, How, and Why you can see in any situation. Leading with your Heart is a “relaxing into” action, and it’s actually a much easier and more comfortable place to live once you get into the practice. It’s allowing an unfolding rather than trying to make some thing happen. It’s a standing back and watching, waiting for cues to action rather than setting an endpoint and creating plot points for moving forward.

Love brings with it such an influx of serendipity and synchrony, seeming coincidence and magic, that one’s very experience is also enhanced along the way. It’s a different way of living, it’s Living Life In Love rather than “chasing your dreams” and gets you to an even better place than you could ever have imagined.

Letting your Heart Lead is relaxing into life, allowing an unfolding, standing back, watching and waiting for Love to provide cues to action.

Operating from the Heart requires a focus different from desired material outcome. It’s driven by inner values, by a deeply motivated yearned-for experience, rather than a certain relationship or career or lifestyle. It has to start with turning inward to find out what is truly aligned with your Heart’s desires. Not based on how you were raised, what you are expected to do or Be according to others around you. It requires instead a deep inner inquiry around Who You Are, what is your place in this world.

Leading with Love requires a recognition of how miraculous is your Life in and of itself — how and why you came to be here, right here, right now. And your Heart can connect you to these answers from within, only for the asking. You may have heard “seek and you shall find;” this is how you do it. You may have heard “ask and you shall receive;” this is how you do it. It’s not about looking outside of you, it’s all about going inward to find all the answers, all the guidance and instruction you need.

Letting your Heart Lead is about believing in this unimaginable power of Love to lead you, to steer you and to celebrate with you. To do so provides the best possible way to Live your most extraordinary Life on Planet Earth.

Don’t let anyone tell you that Love isn’t science! It’s total science as Love is an energy as much like any other energy known to science. Look into the science if you need to, because the greatest block to engaging with Love in your life is the lack of believing in its immense, inexhaustible, unlimited capacity.

Much of the dis-Ease in the world is caused by a disconnection or misalignment within the human being among Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit. You need all four to fully function as you are meant to. Many of the world’s religions and philosophies touch on these truths, but none alone has put together all pieces of the puzzle. And it is time, right here and now, to get closer to the full reality of the matter.

Leading with Your Heart is a simple matter, a slight shift from within, the conscious practice of turning inward, moving more into the Body, allowing your Heart to connect to your Spirit, and asking your Mind to give enough room for this alchemy to happen.

You don’t have to eliminate any part of you. Your ego doesn’t need to go anywhere, in fact you need your ego in order to function as a human being. It’s just that we’ve learned to over-rely on our minds to run the show, and the mind alone can’t bring about the Best Possible Outcome. The mind needs to fully cooperate and collaborate with the whole spectrum of You in order to be the Truest You possible, in order to bring about your full participation and contribution to the best possible Good while on this Earth.

#loveissobig #leadwithlove #truestyou #heartbodymindspirit #turninward

Just as darkness cannot exist where there is light, Love overcomes the darkness of the Soul in all its manifestations. Love is the salve, the healer, the alchemist that can overcome and transmute all that is thirsty for its incomparable qualities of Mercy, Grace and Compassion.

This transformation begins within You. You are the parent of your inner children, those who may hold burdens that block the distinctive and spectacular gifts and talents the True You brought here to this Earth in this place and time.

You must understand that burdens such as these — I am not lovable, I am not worthy, I am less than — do not come from Love, do not come from Source, do not come from God or wherever you may consider you come from.

Even if you think of yourself simply genetically, understand how miraculous it is that you came to be here now considering what your physical ancestors had to go through to get you here today. They were Survivors of great struggle and attendant pain. They survived war, famine, persecution, disease, and so much death — death of children, death of mothers giving birth, death of sons going to war, death of daughters taken as spoils of war — so much death and destruction, some of which — too much of which — continues in this world.

You indeed have these often younger parts of yourself hidden away inside you who are holding pain, some of which does not belong to You, but is carried down through the ages from your ancestors who had reason to carry the burden.
To overcome such darkness in the world is not only to get directly involved in “making it stop,” but to work on oneself First, to bring Love into one’s Self, in order that it may then flow to others, both energetically and person to person, group to group and on and on. These weights that may be held genetically and spiritually must be addressed. This is the Work you are doing, whether you realize it or not.

Every interaction, situation, and relationship you navigate brings practice and lessons on moving toward Love.
The question is whether you are looking only outward or also inward for solutions. You see an issue, you want to resolve it. This is the work you are doing, the work that must be done in order to heal the entire Planet. It has to happen one person at a time and begins with those who actively seek to do it.

Healing yourself means going to those parts of you that haven’t felt the power of Love, were deprived of it when you were growing up for whatever reason.

The whole of you needs to feel Loved by you, as you are now their caretaker. As some parts of you hold pain, other parts have taken on the role of protecting these burdened parts, and all of these parts grow tired of fulfilling these roles within you. They will be relieved to know there is someone else to step in — the essence of You, with your direct access to the power of Love.

Bringing Presence and Love to yourself will allow your burdened parts to relax enough to allow Love to flow to them as well.
You will see that acknowledging these burdens will allow you to release them — it takes much more energy to avoid facing your inner burdens than it does to recognize and release them. The act of Acknowledging and Validating burdens is Owning them as a valued part of you, a necessary step to releasing them.

Love does not judge you, and there is no shame in honoring your shortcomings, missteps or failures — your parts’ good-intentioned efforts that may have backfired or caused the opposite result of what was intended. Your parts’ intentions are always, always, always simply meant to keep you safe.

Your work is to Love You, All of You. That is the work, to Love you into wholeness and bring that oneness into the World.

From Separation to Connection … with the power of LOVE.

As my adult son and I discussed what is wrong with the World today, he made the following observations which I now address through the lens of Love, my guiding force.

“We are an individualistic culture.” Yes, we have evolved into recognizing and appreciating our own unique and special gifts and talents. Every human being is a unique expression of LOVE, meant to take place within the magnificent tapestry of Life. Individualism expressed allows best contribution to the bigger picture, much of which may be unseen except by Love, weaving it all together.

*An inner light draws us to thrive, not just survive, which adds to the Greater Good of all.*

“People can’t think about the greater good when their needs are not being met.” Those who are striving because their own needs are not being met also are living their purpose. Wherever anyone is on their own journey is where we are to meet them. We can Love and support one another along everyone’s way, again offering Who we are, through Love, as best we can.

******“It’s our nature to be xenophobic.**” ****Old programming, a built-in protection to keep us safe. It’s not that we don’t like people who are different, it’s that we’re afraid of them. We can acknowledge and validate our fears and concerns, opening space to see that all human beings are Divine creations. trusting that Love offers a way to approach one another in safety, kindness and compassion.

*  Love always has the better answer, no matter the question.

**“There are no leaders.” **We are each called to be leaders, to recognize the power we have to add to the Good simply through loving action. We bring our own version of LOVE into Life from where we sit — beginning within ourselves then radiating outward through our close relationships, families, work groups, communities and beyond — allowing Love energy to flow through greater spheres of influence.

Love is an energy that emanates from within us and radiates outward beyond what we tend to think about or appreciate.
What can one person do? Love is so much bigger than most of us realize! We need only make room for its magic to unfold. We allow Love to infuse our lives by engaging with it, leading through Love, discerning what is Love and what is not, an ongoing practice for every interaction and situation.

Love provides alchemy with its inexhaustible, limitless power to inform and instruct, relieve and release, help and heal, transmute and transform energies. It’s not something we have to do so much as allow to expand. As we shift toward love ourselves, we ultimately move the overall paradigm away from separation toward Connection.

The more we lean into Love, the closer we come to a tipping point allowing Love to break through.

One person at a time, we can change the World by bringing Love where it has never been before.

#loveneverends #loveheals #lovematters #lovetheworld #selflove