Alternative MethodsConventional Methods


August 13

Finding Joy in Midst of Pain

Reading time 5 min.

Finding Joy in the Midst of Pain

By Elgin Quan

         Getty images. 

Vulnerability, a Divine Condition.

In our current age of fear, ambiguity and despair, a facade of grief lingers on the surface of everyone’s faces. If roses thrive on thorns, can joy and grief be two sides of the same coin?
What if authentic joy can be found? What if we believe like Freud says: that in spite of pain “grief is a miraculous gift which is given to help heal that pain.” What if what the Chinese word for “crisis”: Weiji, 危机 whose characters mean on the one hand, “danger”, 危 and on the other hand, “opportunity” 机, holds the mystery to authentic joy?
If everyone grieves, everyone suffers pain, should we not make effort to learn how to receive pain well and be open to learn lessons from its ubiquitous partner, grief?

** The Physical Factor: Breathing**

A clear mind is a like a deep well. Drink deeply to live fully.
Countdown to calm down.
To remove mental fog and emotional toxicity, learn to breathe. Correct breathing involves counting, taking deep coordinated breathes.
It can be as simple as putting into practice the 4-7-8 breathing technique:
• breathe in through the nose for a count of four
• hold the breath for a count of seven
• part the lips and exhale loudly for a count of eight

Steps for 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise:
• Sit with your back straight throughout the exercise.
• Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth. Keep it there throughout the entire exercise.
Exhale through your mouth around your tongue; pursing your lips slightly.
• Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
• Hold your breath for a count of seven.
• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whooshing sound to count of eight.

This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for total of four breaths. The tip of your tongue stays in position the whole time. Exhalation takes twice as long as inhalation. The time you spend on each phase is not important; the ratio of 4:7:8 is important.
Purchase a home pulse oximeter. Use it to help check your blood oxygen levels. According to the NHS, the optimum level of oxygen in your blood is between 95%- 100%.

**The Emotional Factor: Feelings
As part of the human race, there are distinguishable stages of feeling that should be managed and processed well.  These emotional stages should not be by passed with trite or easy answers.  Emotions should be allowed to run their course or be directed to find someplace or with someone with whom to share.   
Woven into Hebrew Scriptures,  we find Job moving through In Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ well-known stages of grief and dying:   denial, anger, bargaining, resignation and acceptance.  The first seven days of Job’s time on the “dung heap” of pain are spent in silence:  the immediate response of denial.   They he moves to the second stage,  anger.   “This so- called life I have is not really life.  It is death?  So why should I be happy?”   Job has lost his health, family, possessions.  Devastated by his losses,  some of us may have been there,  we can echo Job’s cry about the day he was born: “May that day be darkness.  May murk and deep shadow claim it for their own.  Make it not a day of light but darkness.”  (Job 3:4-5).  

There’s a part of each of us that feels and speaks that sadness. Not every day thank goodness. But if we are willing to feel and participate in the pain of the world, part of us will suffer that kind of despair.
Like Job, we must go through the stages of feeling, not only to the last death, but all the earlier little (not so little) deaths. If we bypass these emotional stages, surrender to easy answers, all they do is take a deeper form of disguise and come out in another way. - depression, irritability, addictions, misdirected anger. By allowing your emotions to run their course, in allowing yourself to move from stage to stage, your experience of grief can restore and can become both whole and holy.
* “Grief is a natural process that should not be tampered with”*
1917 Freud.
Considered a foremost expert on grief and loss, David Kessler, introduced a sixth stage of grief: meaning. In his book, **Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief ** he describes his own personal experience with tragedy. Kessler believed that finding meaning beyond the five stages of grief can transform grief into a more peaceful and hopeful experience. It can be the antidote to the secrets of living a fulfilled life, even after life’s tragedies. www.grief.com. Like Job’s experience, grief can overwhelm. It can feel like a wilderness. But Job found meaning after horrendous loss. Kessler notes it is in this wilderness we find the keys for healing, discovering and knowing our own stages and spaces of grief.
You don’t have to experience grief, but you can only avoid it by avoiding love.
Love and grief are inextricably intertwined.

David Kessler

The Spiritual Factor: Transcendence

What is authentic joy? What is that kind of joy that can take us through our pain, not under it, not over it.
*Art (of Joy) enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.
Thomas Merton

The entire human race is called to embrace the whole cycle of life - birth, passion death, afterlife. Healing power of joy lies in the midst of pain. Just as there is pain in the labor of birthing, pain in the labor of dying, pain in the labors of hard demanding work, authentic joy awaits those who seek it.
Choosing to let joy in is a radical act. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is to seek it outside when it is inside. It means to look a little closer to find out what is truly inside our heart. It means your journey will transcend the ordinary, what the mortal eye cannot see. Finding joy gives us energy to go through the crisis however long it may take. Authentic joy that leads to inner peace and a transformed heart can be found by those who truly seek life and living.
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that
everything in this life has a purpose.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

We live in tragic times. But it does not have to be this way. There is a better way.
Look for peace. Look for joy. Look for love. Peace Joy Love -- three whole foods that combine to form a balanced wholesome diet. One cannot exist without the other. Peace gives over to joy. Joy enables love. Love returns to peace. Members of this trio work together to restore and return us to everything good and beautiful, the mysteries of life.
Your soul will arise

Like Job, when you uncover the mysteries of life and living, your soul will arise. You will know your life has purpose and your pain has meaning.
Approached in this way, finding joy in the midst of pain, by the spirit of **Weiji, 危机 , ** greater opportunities will arise, if you allow it.

Comments

Leave your questions here

To write a comment you must
or
Services
Category filter
Concern filter
Type filter
Sort
 

All categories

Spiritual Healing
$222 USD
Healing from Trauma at a Quantum Soul Level

Are you burnt out from clinical therapy practices that require years of treatment with few results? Are you ready to release and transmute your trauma once and…

LunaRio Silver Deer
Spiritual Healing
$10 USD
I will do spiritual transformation for you

I will do spiritual transformation. Life occurs as a series of cycles in a single human lifetime. Cycles exist in almost a spiral pattern. There is a flow and …

Wisdom Realms
Career Coaching
$499 USD
Reset 1-0n1 Coaching and Mentoring Programme

Are you returning to work after a career break, or are you looking for a new job or career change?

This programme is for you.

I’ve developed the RESET coachi…

Carla Martins
Life Coaching
$399 USD
1-on-1 Coaching

The journey started with our discovery call, and You decided: ” I’m ready! Let’s do this!”.

We will engage in 1-on-1 coaching sessions for 90 minutes. In this…

Carla Martins
Emotional Stress Release
$800 USD
Retreat( India): Connect With Your Inner Wisdom 1st to 4th Sept

Join us for an immersive experience anchored amidst the beauty and tranquillity of Kasar Devi, Almora, India

1st Sept’22 ( Thursday) - 4th Sept 2022 ( Sunday …

Aikyam
Psychic Reading
$80 USD
I will do oracle and tarot card readings

I will do oracle & tarot card reading in any area of your life. You will get answer from the Angelic, Elemental, Faerie or Galactic realms. I will share wi…

Wisdom Realms
Natal Astrology
$15 USD
15 min reading of SOUL structure

[SOUL STRUCTURE]Each soul has own structure,and knowing it means to have unlimited access to inner energy. This readings are telling about your talents and str…

Ksenia Jdanova
Wellness Coaching
$10 USD
Ask a Question?

Supportive reflection of a current question that you would like clarity around. Using the SMART method to seek quidance in stepping onto your path of potential…

Beverly Lynn
Reiki
$150 USD
Reiki Services (distant healing session)

In this hour long distant healing session I will use long distance Reiki, crystals and essential oils to balance your Chakras. Balancing your Chakras allows en…

Erin Kirby
Tarot Reading
$10 USD
Intuitive Tarot Reading

Affordable Tarot reading to offer guidance on any given concern.

Elphie Shoppe
Telepsychology
$10 USD
Talk Therapy Sessions

Hello there: These times are dread. Do you need to talk with a safe professional about a troubling personal challenge? I am a professional listener and will li…

Eulalee Thompson
Tarot Reading
$10 USD
Tarot Reading

I offer tarot readings with a 100% accuracy rate. The tarot is meant to give you advice, to point you in the right direction or to provide you with clarity. Bu…

Zara Kalil
Angel Healing
$10 USD
Mental Health Advice & Tips

I can help you with past issues and give advice and tips on how to better your life. I can see through my third eye and receive messageson what you need to do …

Beings Of Light
Life Coaching
$10 USD
Discovery call

Are you interested in supporting your health with safe and effective holistic medicine? Not sure if you should switch diets, work with a health coach or explor…

Suzana Da Costa
Wellness Coaching
$50 USD
Mental Health and Holistic Lifestyle Coaching

Hi there! I’m Doug and I offer 1 on 1 Holistic Lifestyle and Mental Health Coaching sessions. Navtigating life with mental health issues of any sevarity is a h…

Doug Peterson
Wellness Coaching
$10 USD
Mental Health and Holistic Lifestyle Coaching Consultation

Hi there! I’m Doug and I offer 1 on 1 Holistic Lifestyle and Mental Health Coaching sessions. Navtigating life with mental health issues of any sevarity is a h…

Doug Peterson
Family Psychology
$10 USD
Psychic Reading

Expert in Love Relationship, Tarot Psychic Reading
I can give you more powerful insight of every part of your life. With the help of Crystal ball my Psychic re…

Aamir Bilal
Career Coaching
$195 USD
Holistic Lifestyle & Nutrition Coaching

ARE YOU TIRED? STRESSED OUT? STRUGGLING WITH YOUR WEIGHT? UNDER SLEPT?
LOST YOUR ZEST FOR LIFE?

If this sounds like you, then you don’t need a new diet… you n…

David Giddings
Bach flower therapy
$120 USD
Bach Flower Essence Consultation

Exploration of where you’re feeling stuck or limited in life and recommendations of Bach Flower Essences to help loosen and dissolve old patterns.

Suzana Da Costa
Cognitive-behavioral therapy
$100 USD
Subliminal therapy

In this service we will use Subliminal therapy and Sound healing as alternative to tradition cognitive behavioral therapy.

We are born with our thoughts. Do n…

Ahmed Amin Youssef
Spiritual Healing
$10 USD
Intro 2 Alignment Healing Chant

Namaste.

That is my greeting to the spirit within you. Join me for a welcome introduction session to celebrate my arrival at Core Spirit!

For 15 minutes I wi…

Ti3rc3 Fire
Mediumism
$55 USD
Psychic Medium Readings

READINGS
Currently, all readings will be offered virtually.
Appointments are available on Tuesday and Thursday mornings between 9am-1pm (UK Time Zone).
When we…

Jan Morgan
Oracle Cards Reading
$25 USD
Psychic Reading 15 Minutes

Well-versed in the main 5 clairs, I will Intuitively answer your questions for 15 minutes.

Jyll Hoyrup
Emotional Stress Release
$150 USD
Creatrix® Breakthrough

This is a revolutionary process, SPECIALLY designed for women. You will be able to clear your most depeest BLOCKS and limiting beliefs. 

This is the only too…

Tamar Viva