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Breaking Old Agreements and Making New Ones:

May 1, 2023
Prarthana Ray
Core Spirit member since May 1, 2023
Reading time 4 min.

A book review of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz

Have you ever thought that everything you believe in might not be true? Could it be based on rumors and what society tells you to believe? It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s just a reality check to realize that your beliefs may not be entirely accurate. By questioning and examining the sources of our beliefs, we can open ourselves up to new perspectives and possibilities. This can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life, free from the limitations of societal norms and expectations.

For example, I used to believe that good grades were the key to success because that’s what everyone around me told me. But this belief made me feel inadequate and limited my options in life. Even after graduating college, I felt trapped in a job I disliked because I thought it was the best I could get with my average academic performance. I had agreed with myself that I wasn’t capable of achieving anything better. However, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz made me realize that this belief was just a societal norm, not a universal truth. It’s time for me to break this agreement and pursue what truly makes me happy. I won’t settle for less and will strive to reach my full potential.

“The Four Agreements” offers a practical code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The book outlines four simple yet powerful agreements that can transform our lives and help us break free from self-limiting beliefs that cause suffering

We often make agreements based on what society expects from us, rather than what’s true for us. “The Four Agreements” book made me realize that these agreements may not be helpful or even true. By re-examining our beliefs and making changes, we can transform how we see ourselves and the world. This can lead to a more fulfilling life, where we follow our paths to happiness rather than conforming to societal expectations.

Here are the 4 agreements, by which we can experience more joy, happiness, and love in our lives:

  1. Be impeccable with your word: -

Our words have tremendous power to create or destroy things. Like a farmer planting seeds, we plant ideas and opinions in our minds with our words. If we use negative words, we will reap negative outcomes. It’s important to remember that our “word” is not just what we say out loud to others but also what we tell ourselves in our thoughts. Therefore, we must be mindful of the seeds we plant in ourselves and others with our words.

  1. Don’t take anything personally:

It’s important to be aware of how other people’s words can affect us. If someone insults you, it’s easy to internalize their opinion and believe it’s true. But we must remember that most of the time, other people’s comments say more about them than they do about us. Maybe they’re having a bad day, or they have insecurities that they’re projecting onto us. It’s crucial not to take their words personally and let them affect our self-worth. At the same time, we shouldn’t take compliments too personally either, as they can also inflate our ego. We should strive to have a balanced perspective and not let other people’s opinions define us.

  1. Don’t make assumptions:

Assuming things without proper knowledge or information can lead to disastrous consequences. We often make the mistake of forming opinions based on limited information, and end up with a skewed perspective of the situation.

It’s important to realize that everyone has a unique perspective based on their experiences, background, and current situation. We should not assume that everyone sees things the same way we do, as this can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

The best way to overcome this is to admit that we don’t have all the answers and to ask questions to gain a better understanding. Rather than making assumptions based on incomplete information, we should seek out more knowledge and insight to truly understand a situation. This can help us to avoid making mistakes and to make better decisions in the long run.

  1. Always do your best:

Always strive to do your best in every situation, whether it’s a big project at work or a simple interaction with another person. When we don’t do our best, we feel regretful and guilty. But if we consistently give our best effort, we can avoid those negative feelings. If you don’t do your best one day, don’t dwell on it. Tomorrow is another opportunity to try again.

These four agreements are well-known, yet often not put into practice in our daily lives. It can be difficult to break old habits and adopt new ways of thinking, but I am committed to applying these agreements in my life and letting go of harmful beliefs that may be deeply ingrained.

This book is a valuable resource and I highly recommend it.

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