A Victim of YourselfFeb 26, 2023
People who have been victimized often continue to victimize themselves. It’s a tough subject to discuss, because the people who can benefit from it the most (the victims) are usually in a constant state of defense. They’ve been offended so deeply that they must now defend their point of view from anyone who attempts to change it, because it’s the safe space they’ve created, often to cope with feelings of inadequacy or thoughts of being responsible for whatever happened to them.
So back to a person who has been victimized continuing to victimize themselves. Many will keep themselves in a powerless position because they felt powerless in the moment they were victimized. For example, a person who is laid off because of budget cuts and doesn’t get another job or find another way to make income continues to complain about budget cuts and how the company that laid them off did them wrong. Instead of looking at themselves and their experience and applying it to their future, they apply their energy to the past and blame the company (the aggressor) for all of the misfortune that they see in their experience because being laid off made them feel powerless. Now, when someone comes along and says, “I think such and such is hiring,” they respond with something like, “Why are you telling me?” or “They probably just laid off a bunch of people,” or “I wonder how long it would take them to lay off whoever they hire.” They avoid applying their power to creating their fortune out of fear of or attachment to misfortune. They avoid applying their power to creating their future out of fear of or attachment to the past. If you tell them to go get another job, develop their skills, or start a side hustle, they’ll have some reason why they can’t and say someone needs to change things so companies can’t just lay people off like the company did them, putting the responsibility of their satisfaction in anyone’s hands but their own.
I used to go to open mic events where some of the brightest minds would share the words they’ve put together. It was often a great atmosphere overall. I stopped going after a while because I noticed over time that more and more of the content was not only about the corruption in the U.S., but about how it keeps people down and that people can’t thrive because of the system. While there is a lot to learn and many obstacles to overcome, I couldn’t get with the idea that all of the authority over my life and happiness was completely out of my hands. The obstacles are not worth more than the training and the triumph over them. The obstacle course is to be navigated and completed, not complained about.