Recently I was asked to write a short piece for a series on ‘Masculinity Hacks’ for a men’s coaching blog.
Personally I think the conflation of societal ideals of masculinity, the male gender, and spiritual philosophy is a bankrupt concept both intellectually and practically. So it’s fair to say my contribution went rather against the grain of the series and ruffled some feathers in the men’s coaching biz. Perhaps you’ll get a tickle out of it.
I’ve included some links at the bottom of the article to free audios where I talk more about these ideas.
Forget About Your Purpose
It doesn’t exist.
There is no career, business, or work-life balance specially assigned to you by an existential taskmaster. There is no code to crack that will see you leap effortlessly out of bed each morning, finally secure in the feeling that you are justifying your existence.
It is just a myth sold by spiritual con men and entrepreneurial almost-yogis who tell you that your ‘don’t know’ and ‘not sure’ is some kind of problem. It is the way of the superior snake oil salesman who assures you the reason the special sauce isn’t working is because you’re just not doing it right.
Beware of those who’s ‘purpose’ is telling you how to find yours.
The truth is, you cannot be anything other than you – you are never anyone else. It is impossible to be anything other than 100% ‘in integrity’.
You are comprehensively, unwaveringly, and forever perfect. You simply have no choice in the matter.
You cannot do anything other than your best. You are incapable of doing any better, or any worse, at any point in your life, than you are already doing.
And what is better anyway?
There is no ‘purpose’.
You do not need a justification to be alive.
Your decision making process is colour commentary. The main event has nothing to do with your personal narrative.
Don’t worry, you are not in control (and neither is your men’s coach).
Live the open question that is the heady rush of THIS. Dissolve the illusion of your fixed position by paying attention to what is actually in your experience.
When you honestly say ‘don’t know’, you are finally ‘right now’.