It’s easy to feel like you are falling behind in life. That people are passing you by and that you are not accomplishing everything that you set out to, or that your goals are getting further and further away from happening.

You feel like you are not doing enough to change your situation. And that restlessness is brutal to withstand. Wanting to do better or more, and not knowing where to start or what to do, or if you should, are all common feelings that paralyze us into a panic about our lives.

But the truth is you will change when you are ready to change. And you will finally put your ideas into action in the timing that is best.

Make the Most of the Scenic Route

Usually, what we need to do the most is give ourselves permission to be where we are life. After all, it doesn’t matter how much we fight it, sometimes it’s not up to us how we’re moving through life; circumstances often dictate how things are going to go.

You might be in the middle of taking the long way around and not be aware because the end is not visible, but this is how we learn some of life’s greatest lessons.

Be a human being

Not necessarily being in control is something we have to get used to, a lot is going on that contributes to your life, and not all of it is moveable. Sometimes we have to accept that we are stuck. You could put in time, working as hard as you can, but if it’s not the time to move forward, it’s not the time.

You need to give yourself permission to be a human being, and that often means making mistakes and staying in the same place, not traveling forward. It’s okay to stay stationary, sometimes putting in the time is all that needs to be done. Making huge strides forward isn’t something that happens every day.

Know this: Life is not a linear journey

Things might not be happening because your ideas need more time to develop, your feelings need time to evolve, or you need to be inspired by someone. Further, maybe you need to be stuck in life for some time because one day it will serve as the inspiration that drove you forward. But what needs to be accepted is that our experiences cannot always be manipulated.

And even though we generally know this, we try as hard as possible to control our lives to make life into a game we can win, with shortcuts, and victories as though it was a linear journey. But it is not. Circumstances often take the wheel out of our hands, and we are left having to deal with what life has dealt us.

Allow Yourself to Change Naturally

The only thing that is certain is that you don’t get to control the system of your life as though it were a game. You don’t get to control every outcome and aspect of your life as though uncertainty would never dominate the situation again. We often forget that we are a certain way until we are not anymore. Change happens to us surprisingly and unpredictably. We can have healthy habits and become motivated to push ourselves further but what we certainly can’t do is turn our life into a game that can be won, cheated, or expedited.

Don’t be tied to outcomes

The timing of success is something that evades us. We feel as though we can be in control and our negative feelings about ourselves comes from the idea that we should be able to change our lives. We have to give ourselves permission to let whatever happens to happen and not to feel so directly and vulnerably tied to outcomes. Opportunities often don’t show up in the way we think they will. Who knows, tomorrow could surprise you with the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.

Stop beating yourself up

It’s not that you need more motivation or inspiration to make the life you want. It’s that you need less shame around the idea that you’re not doing your best. You need to stop listening to people who are in vastly different life circumstances and life stages than you tell you that you’re just not doing or being good enough. The lessons you learn now will make you who you are later. We have to understand that sometimes you need just to let it be, let the world turn, and stop beating ourselves up.