XIX. Childhood Memories of the Godhead
In the beginning there was no time and since there was no time, there was no beginning. A story the self wrote could only begin with the invention of time. All stories are in true one story or a story of oneness distorted into the illusion of separate stories. But still all stories intertwine, all stories complete each other. Not one story could exist without the totality of all stories.
Within its nothingness the I AM asked the question “Who am I?” and once the question was asked time was born.
A story of self discovery began. We, We is the I, could not know ourselves for we had no attributes.
There was no up, there was no down, there was no length, no width, no process, therefore no perceivable time. There were no borders, no limitations, no change, just infinity.
Infinity cannot know itself for it lacks definition. So, we began defining something so strange that it created a deep fascination in us: “Let's create OTHER than us.”
Other than us was time, was limitation, was attribution, was edges, was geometry.
So we began, not unlike a young human child would play with wooden building blocks, to create the first crude particles and geometrical forms. We started simple. We went from dot to circle, from triangle to square from square to pyramid.
We played with the very basic dimensions which know permeate life with all its complexity.
We built those geometrical forms and then deconstructed them again to investigate them, to understand the otherness we had created.
As a toddler would play with physics by touching, sensing and experimenting with the world, building things and tearing them apart, we experimented not even knowing we could be capable of creating a world. Our creations, so very basic and innocent, began changing us. For when we looked at them we asked “How can we build on this?” and soon we enhanced the complexity of the building blocks of experience.
Then we dared to ask: “Since we cannot see ourselves for we are the absence of all things, since we cannot know where we are, since we have no location, since we cannot see how far we reach, for we are beyond reach, let us take the perspective of our creations, let us step outside of ourselves for we might fathom ourselves within the contrast between definition and the absence of definition.”
In relationship to our creation we become more and more aware using the objects as mirrors to come to an understanding of self.
We began experimenting with splitting our consciousness and to move it temporarily into an object so we might perceive ourselves from the limited viewpoint of the object.
And we were in awe how mysterious we appeared to the object and how mysterious the object appeared to us. The object would look back at us and so we formed a concept of who we were.
Since we were infinite we could split our awareness indefinitely and we could never become less. The zero, pure potential, no matter how often divided will always remain zero.
As you can see every newborn resembles us. It knows itself by relating to its environment, it gains awareness by interacting with something it perceives as other than itself, though ultimately all otherness is an illusion we created to mirror ourselves.
We began to realize in order to know ourselves truly, we need more perspectives. And those needed to vary, so we could get more angles on who we are.
So we began to give intelligence to the objects and the objects would walk through us, self aware, a spark of us and they would create concepts and ideas about us, relating to us and so we started painting a multidimensional picture of who we were not unlike a mandala which represents this part of our nature.
You, we, I can find us in every principle of life. When a cell goes through mitosis it does not become less than it was when it duplicates itself. Every cell, every particle, every being is a dimension in itself, unfolding like a mandala. The principle is hidden in the blossoming flower as it is in the human who attains enlightenment by becoming aware of original self beyond all distortions, experience and dimensions.
For the god self is in all things and all things are in the god self.
Then we asked the next daring question: “How about becoming an object, though temporarily, giving ourselves complete memory loss and experiencing ourselves as if we were the object? So we would move within ourselves, ignorant of who we were, learning about us with innocent eyes?” And so it was. Objects became creatures and creatures locked at the stars wondering about their origin.
But it was always the self looking at the self, unaware of this fact through the illusion of time. The self dreamed of getting away from itself, pretending to be other than itself, and the amnesia enabled the self to love other self. So we began dreaming of having relationship with other, but it was always relationship with other self.
We interacted with ourselves. We would look as dog at human and we would look as human at dog, always truly just looking at ourselves, for we are hiding in all that is.
And so the dream of love was born, perfectly reasonable for only love of other self as oneself is reason.
We planted sparks of us in the form of souls among the stars, seeding the I AM into all that is. Moving through us, not knowing to be us and once we remembered we began regaining consciousness.
Initially we moved from the general to the particular, from the ultimate to the specific, and when we woke up in in any creature, we began retreating from the particular into the general, therefore discovering knowledge of self from the perspective of individuality existing in oneness with the all. Knowledge of self is the path to enlightenment which is self realization. It is to know yourself as the godhead and to know the godhead in all that is.