The Thief and the Pig - A story about abuse and society
The thief is not a person but represents the life that has been taken from you because you experienced abuse. In particular, it is the situation you are in at this stage in life. You notice several things don’t sit comfortably with you, but you feel powerless to do anything about them. Indeed, being helpless in life at any point is a sign that something needs to change so that the power dynamic is mutual. When you change the power dynamic for you, then powerlessness is blown away.
It is difficult to know where to start and stepping out of what is so familiar to you is not easy to do. What I recommend is that you take the smallest of steps to change the dynamic. Make it easy to do so that it provides a very subtle difference to you. It will, therefore, be acceptable for you and the significant others around you. A straightforward and effective way of deducing what could make a difference is to think about everyday situations. Consider regular instances where you feel put upon, or taken for granted or undermined. It is those occurrences where little tweaks can swing things into your favour.
Remember, it is the mutuality of the power dynamic that is an advantage to you. It is not selfishness; it is valuing who you are. Place your efforts where they are needed and are of most use to improving your powerbase. Think of it as small activities that replenish you, rather than continuing to do what you no longer want to do just for someone else. Taking this approach will fuel you to make more small but significant steps and then Boom! Every part of you has infused your powerbase. It will lead you to bigger things, such as changing the state of affairs that fill you with dread. When you feel ready, they will not seem like a step too far. It will feel like the right thing for you to do at that time. The inner powerbase will continue to drive you forward, and the next significant shift happens. A time will come when you decide to remove the core of hurt and pain that still resides in your body. After all, it is yours to do something with, so do it.
The pig, on the other hand, slowly snuffles and wallows in what feels pleasant. It represents the awful system that should protect the vulnerable from the diabolical people that prey on them. A society that feels comfortable when they don’t think about or act accordingly to the abuse children and adults suffer. It is so much easier to sweep it under the carpet until a mighty storm gathers. At the point when things are high profile, something gets done about it. Too much public outcry makes change happen. In the meantime, all the lower level, scandals keep happening every day. They remain hidden from the public gaze and public scrutiny. One abused person is not big enough, and yet when it becomes hundreds, society had better do something about it. It would be wrong not to wouldn’t it?
What is so erroneous is the unseen extent of abuse and its far-reaching effects on our health system and public finances. Every abused person is damaged, and they need access to the necessary support services to recover from it. Ignoring the extent of the matter time and time again allows it to continue to happen. The pig needs to see everything and acknowledge that even the smallest of cases have far-reaching consequences down the line. The pig needs to get a high viz jacket!
By Linda J Newby, PhD
Healer and author for the abused
Author page https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B07X49SGLH
© Decus 2019-2020 All rights reserved
Hi Eva, take some time to focus on what could bring your brand of happiness. Quite, mindful moments where you reconnect your mind and heart. Then, listen carefully and you shall get a sense of what subtle change is right for you. Take care. Linda
Hello, thank You very much for such an interesting article! I really feel that the place where I live, the business I do, the life I live, is not at all what I want and not what I need. But I am so afraid of letting people down, who are dear to me, offending and upsetting them with my decisions, that I cannot breathe freely because of this. Do You have any advice in this situation?