I guide Creative Introverts with world-changing visions in their hearts to calm + befriend their minds and rediscover + reconnect with their Child-like wonder, curiosity, and love so that they can authentically show up in their lives and joyfully + freely express who they are while having lots of fun! I have a holistic approach (mind, heart, body, energy + soul): uniting Science and Spirituality.
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Standing in Solidarity: Why we must rise up against racism.
The past couple of days have been emotional and heavy. I have been learning about racism and reflecting on my experiences as a Chinese-Canadian growing up in a small remote Northern town. I have been feeling so disgusted, confused, hurt, angry, and disillusioned. The Toxic Winds. I have always felt the toxic winds of racism: Growing up, my friends chanting “me Chinese, me no dumb, me stick finger up my bum”, my friends making fun of my “small Chinese penis”, and even experiencing racism even in medical school… I was in my third year of training and I was learning and working in a local hospital. One afternoon, a group of White male doctors were “shocked seeing so many Asians in one department” and proceeded with racial slurs and seemingly harmless jokes towards me, three other Chinese resident doctors, and even towards another Chinese doctor for several days. It is humiliating, disturbing, frustrating, and disgusting looking back at it now. However at the time, me and the other Chinese residents and including the doctor, not only didn’t stand up for ourselves or speak out against it, but we actually joined in on the “joke” and were laughing and playing along. One of the White Male doctors in the group commented, “it’s like Thing 1 and Thing 2! I can’t tell the difference between you all!”. While the other white doctor in the lounge was chuckling and broadcasted, “I can’t wait until Dr. X hears about this!” as he was texting his other White Male colleague… Inward Racism No mom please, I don’t want to bring this for lunch. *sobbing* I don’t want it… —8 year old me I always felt like I didn’t belong growing up in a small rural town and I desperately wanted to fit in. I remember when I was 8 years old and crying and screaming at my mom one morning before going to school. I was refusing to have to bring a Chinese lunch of leftover dinner to school. I was one of two Chinese students in my class at that time. I wanted to be like my White friends and bring a ham sandwich or a Lunchable. I didn’t want to be made fun of anymore for my “weird and smelly” lunches. Wanna know the most the twisted and insidious part that I didn’t realize about my past? At a young age I was assimilated into a system that is systemically racist and pro-White. I learned that the Chinese race is inferior to the White race: I desperately wanted to be White. And I become ashamed of my own race. I still hold unconscious racist beliefs and biases towards Chinese people and other people of colour, especially Black people. **that doesn’t mean I act explicitly racist towards BIPOC** I have been largely ignorant of the systemic racism that still exists today in the 21st century. I have been swimming in the waters of Systemic Racism and White Supremacist beliefs and attitudes for my whole life. Not only was I unaware of the water that I was swimming in (and I am becoming aware that I have a lot of unlearning and relearning to do), I was drinking from the water and I learned to develop inward racism towards Chinese people, and racist beliefs towards other BIPOC. I just think racism is within each and every one of us. It’s everyone’s responsibility to figure out how they deal with this kind of obsolete instinct. -Jordan Peele This may have made you super uncomfortable. And if it has, I commend you for being with your discomfort and reading this far. I get it. It’s unpleasant questioning and thinking about our privileges, racism, and whether if we have been part of the problem… If you are White, and this may be your first time confronting the privileges you were born into and becoming aware of the systemic racism that discriminated and continues to discriminate, and even murder countless people of colour every single day. I honour you for reading up until now. I get it. Maybe like me, you are feeling ashamed and guilty being unaware of the systemic racism that still exists today in 2020. Please do not turn away. Please do not shut down. Please do not close off. Please do not point fingers and lay blame elsewhere. This is uncomfortable, emotional, and saddening. This may bring up intense feelings of disgust, anger, guilt, shame, and/or disbelief. All these feelings are justified and okay. What is not okay, is for us to remain blissfully ignorant and quiet about the issue at hand. One either allows racial inequities to persevere, as a racist, or confronts racial inequities, as an antiracist. There is no in-between safe space of “not racist.” The claim of “not racist” neutrality is a mask for racism. - Ibram X. Kendi, How to Be an Antiracist My previous experience of racism in medical school roars into a crescendo near the end of my surgery rotation. nobody spoke up. The racial slurs continued for days. The ongoing racial slurs and teasing built up into a crescendoing moment that has burnt a lasting imprint in my mind. One afternoon, one of the White doctors noticed all of “us Asians” were all there in the lounge room. He proceeded to request that we stand next in a group so that he can take a photo of all us Asians. There were four other White doctors in the lounge. None of them spoke up. They didn’t say shit. I would have loved nothing more than for one of the White doctors to stand up and speak up against his White Male colleagues about five of them. That was likely all it would’ve taken to end the racism right there: for one of the White doctors to say, “Yo men! This isn’t cool.” By remaining quiet and a bystander they weren’t being neutral. There is no neutrality when it comes to racism — they were adding to the problem… Remaining silent always benefits the oppressors and racists, it never benefits the oppressed… If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. -Desmond Tutu From 7 Ways We Know Systemic Racism Is Real by Scott Woods: In fact, racism is built right into every level of our society in ways that might surprise you. Racism of this kind, racism that infects the very structure of our society, is called systemic racism. And at first glance, it may be difficult to detect… The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people’s expense, whether whites know/like it or not. Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn’t care if you are a white person who likes black people; it’s still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don’t look like you. If you, were like me, and have been pleasantly blissed and ignorant towards the degree of racism that still exists today… it’s time for us to wake up: RACISM IS LIVE AND THRIVING TODAY IN THE 21ST CENTURY. Racism is a blight on the human conscience. The idea that any people can be inferior to another, to the point where those who consider themselves superior define and treat the rest as subhuman, denies the humanity even of those who elevate themselves to the status of gods. -Nelson Mandela Black people, indigenous people, and people of colour (BIPOC) are suffering. Our Black brothers and sisters are suffering. Slavery hasn’t ended: it’s taken a new form through systemic racism, a prison-industrial complex and mass incarcerations in the U.S., racist policies and legislation, and police brutality. I am not here to blame individuals who have been racist towards me. I am forgiving those White doctors and I am forgiving my friends growing up for their ignorance and racism. And I am forgiving myself for holding racist beliefs and implicit racial biases. However, we, as individuals, need to become aware of the issue and educate ourselves. We are all embedded and raised in a systemic racist system born out of a White Supremacist history. We will need to actively address and change our learned racist tendencies starting with ourselves and we need to take part in the difficult conversation with our friends and loved ones. In a racist society it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist. -Angela Y. Davis If you are White and you are reading this I ain’t mad at you. But, I will be hurt and angry if you look away because this is challenging racially. You may be feeling angry, defensive, fearful, and guilty too. And maybe you want to argue. Absolutely cool, let’s talk about it. But, please, please don’t remain silent and ignore the issue. Remaining quiet is reinstating white racial equilibrium and preventing any meaning cross-racial dialogue. I may be Chinese, and I may have “yellow skin”, and I may look different than you, but we aren’t inherently different (biologically, genetically, neurologically, psychologically): we are all human beings — in our hearts, we are loving, kind, and compassionate sentient beings. No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. -Nelson Mandela I don’t believe in blaming nor becoming racist towards White people — This approach is unhelpful and will add to the issue. I believe in forgiveness and change. I believe in accountability. I believe privileged people and leaders in power need to rise up to the challenge. Like I said, I believe that we are genuinely compassionate and kind sentient beings. We need to rise up together and stand up against racism in solidarity. We need to learn how we can become anti-racist and unlearn our conditionings that perpetuate White Supremactic values. Being neutral and quiet is adding to the problem! You don’t fight racism with racism, the best way to fight racism is with solidarity. -Bobby Seale We must wake up individually and as a collective society. We need to educate and re-educate ourselves. It is never too late to learn and shine light towards our own ignorance. We need to have these difficult conversations with friends, family, and our communities about systemic racism and White privilege. We must stay open. Learn. Connect. Examine. Re-examine. Remain open. Cry if we have to. Be accountable. Stand up for our BIPOC brothers and sisters. A nice lady in the back…asked what I thought about how we begin to move forward. I think it is up to each individual, which then moves to your family, which moves to your community. Each person, in their own life, let your life be a light for peace, for justice, for all that is good. Just let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. -Oprah Winfrey You and I, we must be a light for peace, for justice, and for all that is good. This will be uncomfortable, internally and externally, as we transform ourselves on this daunting sounding task: We will have to examine some of our demons, but this is necessary for healing and transforming ourselves so we can become even more available, capable, compassionate, understanding, and strong: joining our Black brothers and sisters, and other people of colour, in solidarity against racism. ✊
Happiness: Discovering joy from within
There’s one thing we as humans all have in common regardless of where we are born, our skin colour, our gender, our age, or our personality: we all want to be happy. Happiness can come from two sources: externally and internally. In this article, I am going to share with you how we can stop relying one external sources of joy and seek and cultivate joy inwardly.
External Joy versus Internal Joy
In a previous article about happiness, I talked about hedonic vs eudaimonic happiness. Hedonic happiness is the fleeting bursts of joy that we get from external circumstances like drinking a cup of coffee, getting a promotion, or winning the lottery. We feel great momentarily, but the happiness fades are we are left wanting more.
Eudaimonic happiness is longer-lasting happiness that derives from meaningful experiences like close and intimate relationships, contributing to others, and cultivating kindness towards ourselves.
I am not saying to avoid coffee, and avoid getting a promotion, and turn down a winning lottery ticket. No, of course not! I would love to win the lottery. I am saying, that these ways of experiencing happiness in your life is dependent on external situations — they are fleeting — and it is out of your control. However, joy that comes from within is boundless, absolutely free, and you have more control over your inner circumstances than external situations!
Joy from Within
Joy can be seen as an emotional state of being. It is an emotional state that has one of the highest frequencies compared to other emotions. When we are joyful the world seems brighter, opportunities are more easily seen, and obstacles are seen as challenges rather than terrible problems. We are more creative, open, and kind when we are in a state of joy.
Being able to tap into the inner well of joy takes practice. We are conditioned and programmed to be quite negative. It is easy for us to become stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, judgemental, and doubting when we are repeating old programs and loops that keep us comfortably small and feeling stuck.
When we are experiencing joy we do not experience our negative emotions. We absolutely — for the most parts — cannot feel Hate when we are bathed in Joy; With joyous virtues, values, beliefs, thoughts, actions and speech there isn’t room for Hateful words, actions, behaviours, racist us vs them mentality, and hateful systems and policies.
By developing and cultivating our ability to tap into our inner Joy (whenever we want) we start to reprogram ourselves to cease clinging and grasping: We give up engaging and dwelling in negative emotions when the guest has outstayed her honourable visit.
The 6Layers to _discover_ Inner Happiness
In the following series of articles I will share with you the 6 layers we must transform to tap into inner happiness and to experience a lighter, funner, and brighter life. I am a newly Certified Happiness Life Coach and I will share with you what I have learned and how you can take control of your life and experience greater joy while shedding old belief systems, patterns of thinking, and identities that no longer serve you.
June 28, 2020
We all want happiness. If we ask ourselves “why?” we are doing what we are doing, eventually we will come to the conclusion: we want to be happy. We all want to be happy, yet it is so elusive and difficult to obtain. How to experience lasting happiness, let alone, transient happiness, wasn’t a subject that we learned in school. I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a Positive Psychology course while I was studying at the University of Toronto and it offered me a new perspective on happiness — lasting happiness is found within not without.
We need to end our tireless pursuit for happiness seeking outwards: shiny cars, big houses, sexy partners, fancy meals, brand-name clothing, expensive luxurious furniture, and the latest and newest gadgets. Obtaining these things will give us a temporary boost of happiness, but that will fade, and we are back on the hunt; constantly searching and pursuing the next thing that will bring us back to our previous level of happiness. Kind of like feeding an addiction: we need to seek more and more pleasures or more intense pleasures to reach the previous levels of high.
Positive Psychology: The study of the good and meaningful life
Positive Psychology is a newer branch of psychology that was a game changer in the field. Rather than focusing on human flaws, errors, biases, and problems like Behaviour Psychology and Freud and his followers, Positive Psychology aims at understanding factors and qualities that naturally make our lives filled with happiness and other positive emotions, and create meaning in our lives. Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, first coined the term in 1998 when he became the head of the American Psychology Association, but he wasn’t the first to explore what makes a good life. Previous spiritual figures and philosophers were examining happiness and the good life over two centuries ago.
Ancient Greece and the time of the Buddha, Confucius and Taoism
The study of the good life can be traced as far back as 2500 years ago during the time of the Buddha. Before the Buddha became enlightened underneath the bodhi tree he went by the name Gautama Siddhartha. He actually grew up as a rich and spoiled prince (you can read about his story in my previous article). Gautama realized that there was a lot of suffering and he wanted to discover the path to freedom: a way to liberate himself from human suffering and all of humankind. When he became enlightened after a horrendous evening meditating underneath the bodhi tree (he pretty much pulled an all-nighter meditating underneath a tree where he was constantly bombarded by Mara, an evilish God, trying all the tricks he had to scare, disrupt, distract, seduce, and shame Gautama out of his deep, inquiring meditative state). He remained unstirred and undisturbed by Mara and his mischievous and evil antics; At the crack of dawn Gautama “woke up” — Gautama became enlightened. Upon enlightenment the Buddha taught four noble truths: 1) as humans we all suffer, 2) there is a cause to suffering, 3) we are capable of freeing ourselves from suffering, and 4) there is a path to freedom.
Confucius, the Chinese philosopher, living in 500 BC, emphasized on personal and social morality, kind and respectful relationships, justice, and sincerity. He was famous for saying, “Do not do unto others what you would not want done to yourself”.
Taoism is a philosophical tradition of Chinese origin which emphasizes living in harmony and alignment with the Tao (the Way). It’s about being — It’s about living in the path of least resistance. Moving in the flow of live, rather than resisting and fighting the flow of the river of life. Taoism emphasizes wu wei (action without intention), naturalness, simplicity, spontaneity, and the Three Treasures (compassion, frugality, and humility). Lao Tzu, the author of the “Tao Te Ching”, once said:
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
In Ancient Greece around the same time as the Buddha, Greek philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle studied and taught about the good life. Socrates was the teacher of Aristotle and Plato was teacher of Aristotle. Socrates can be seen as the father of political philosophy or ethics; Plato the father of Western spirituality; And Aristotle the father of Western science.
Socrates was a speaker, he talked about the good life but he never wrote down his philosophy; he never wrote a single piece of documentation. It was his student, Plato, that wrote about Socrates thus making it difficult to discern Socrate’s philosophy from Plato’s. Socrates believed in the virtuous life: the good life is attained through strong character and values. Plato had a more dreamy and contemplative philosophy, and his disciple, Aristotle, had a logical, analytical, and factual model when it came to examining living a life worth living. Plato taught his students that we all want to be part of something higher — a transcendental reality — which unites everyone and everything into a harmonious unity. Whereas, Aristotle, was like:
Yo Plato, let’s get real here. I wanna know the facts. I don’t care as much about the ‘why’, I want to know the ‘what’ and the ‘how!
Aristotle, founded Western Science, he was the original materialistic scientist who prized logic and analytical examination. Aristotle’s Golden Rule, can teach us about lasting happiness: we want to take everything in moderation, and never to the extremes.
Two types of happiness: Hedonia (sensual pleasures) vs Eudaimonia (inner lasting happiness)
Categories are useful, but sometimes they are limiting. There are two categories that we can use to think about happiness but in reality it’s more complex than that.
Hedonic happiness is short-term pleasures and experiences that makes us feel happy. It is a quality of happiness that comes from the outside, usually in the form of materials or a fleeting sensual pleasure. Eating a scrumptious meal, winning the lottery, having a cup of coffee, buying a new car, staying at a 5-star resort, having another cup of coffee, and receiving a raise will produce hedonic happiness. The happy boost that we get from these things and experiences are temporary, eventually the happiness would fade and we will require more and more of it to receive the same amount of happy juice. We build up a tolerance to these sensual pleasures and experiences and we get used to them over time.
Take for example someone who wins the lottery: Initially, they will feel significantly happier. They believe that they will be so happy and their life will be filled with rainbows and butterflies for the rest of his life. They won the friggin’ lottery. They did it! Unfortunately, it doesn’t last. Commonly, lottery winners return back to their previous level of happiness before they won. Some even become depressed a few years after winning, and end up spending away all their winnings and eventually they go bankrupt.
The initial happy boost isn’t sustainable, and eventually they will get used to their new gains from winning the lottery. This is called the hedonic treadmill or hedonic adaptation.
Eudaimonia happiness is sustaining and lasting happiness that comes from within regardless of exterior situation. In a previous article I talked about the 50-40-10 happy rule: we are in control of 40% of our happiness. Developing sustainable and inner happiness is an artform. There are specific values and character traits we can develop to produce regular positive emotions naturally. For instance practicing forgiveness, acceptance, mindfulness, and gratitude will open our minds up to noticing, embracing, and cultivating positive emotions like happiness, joy, contentment, kindness, satisfaction, excitement, and confidence. And they will help us cope with difficult emotions, build resilience to challenging events, and weed out negative thought and belief patterns. As opposed to hedonic happiness, eudaimonic happiness is something that we can practice, learn, and develop so we do not have to be dependent on external means to experience happiness regularly and naturally. For a lot of us, it will require us to take a new perspective on happiness: lasting and sustainable happiness comes from within!
The Art of Happiness: A revolutionary way of approaching the good life.
Happiness has been examined since the time of the Buddha, Confucius, Lao Tzu, and Ancient Greek philosophers. They were all interested in eudaimonic happiness — lasting and sustainable happiness. They were studying the good life and seeing happiness not only as a personal state, but interrelational and societal: living the good life involves contributing to others and having others’ well-being in mind as well.
It may be friggin’ awesome to win the Lotto 649, but if we haven’t developed and learned how to cultivate inner happiness, we will likely get used to our newly acquired sum of money, end up wasting all of it, going bankrupt, becoming depressed, and taking our own lives.
Developing and practicing qualities like acceptance, mindfulness, forgiveness, altruism, compassion, and gratitude will make us happier, but in a sustainable and longer-lasting way.
So, we can continue to buy our lottery tickets and hope we win, but in the meantime let’s learn how to develop inner happiness, so when we do win the lottery we already have strong resources internally, and we can spend (or save and invest) our $5 million dollars wisely and compassionately knowing that happiness comes from within and not from the outside.
Article written by me on Mindfully Abundant Blog
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