“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
Gratitude is the word that comes to our mind at the first sight when we say or listen to ‘Thank You’. It is a kind of common sense which relates the human psychology. The basic fundamental of human behavior deals with the interaction person does with society. Some people feel good when they listen to ‘Thank You’ in front of everyone. The reason is the person starts to believe in himself that whatever decision or work executed by him was on the correct note.
According to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, we usually express our gratitude to show that we value our relationship. The response to a relationship shows a sign of maturity also. The most common thing to note here is when we express our gratitude for acknowledging the cost of the sacrifice, we place ourselves and our partners in a “shift” to thinking about the relationship. This emphasizes the fact that the beneficiary lost something while the beneficiary gained something, thus highlighting the feeling that the relationship is now unbalanced.
On the contrary, thanking our partners for their response to our needs highlights the social nature of romantic relationships. Happy relationships are marked by the desire of each partner to meet the needs of the other, hoping that they will do the same when needed. Thanking our partners for meeting our needs allows them to do a good deed, and as a result, their feelings grow.
In this study, they followed some processes like Zach’s car is in the garage, but he needs to be in town for the 8:00 am meeting. He asks his wife Yolanda if he can ride her. He knows he doesn’t like driving in the city, especially in race hour cars. When they arrived, she thanked him, adding: “I know it was hard for you to leave my office in an emergency.”
Xander also has to be in town early in the morning, and his car is still on the fritz. His daughter Wendy agrees to ride him, even though it is out of his way. When he leaves, she thanks him: “Thank you. I would not have come to the meeting on time if you had not left me in the office today. ”
Park and colleagues point out that expressions of gratitude usually take one of two forms. Another way to show our gratitude is to accept the expenses incurred by our donors. In the example above, Zach thanked Yolanda for saying that he knew it was a problem for him.
One way we show gratitude is by pointing out how our partner responds to our needs. Moreover, Xander does this by telling Wendy that she would not have been able to arrive on time without his help.
What is the best way for a benefactor to feel better about himself? I invite you to ponder this question for a moment by looking at how you would feel about Yolanda and Wendy’s positions.
Park and his colleagues also pondered the question, and discussed the following: On the other hand, when you thank your partner for the expenses they received, it reminds them that there is now inequality in the relationship, and this leads to an uncomfortable feeling. On the other hand, if you express appreciation for their response to your needs, it lets them know that you have done something positive, which will enhance their feelings.
To explore the hypothesis that highlighting responsiveness in expressing gratitude can lead to a significant increase in donor feelings compared to highlighting costs, researchers invited nearly a hundred couples to participate in a two-week diary study. Every evening for 14 days, each partner separately responds to a brief survey they received on their smartphone. When they reported that their partner had expressed their gratitude for the day, they went on to answer the following questions about the event.