It can be hard not to get caught up in other people’s expectations of us. Most of us learn from a young age that the approval, safety and even the love we want and crave is readily available if we look, behave, act, dress and even speak in a certain way.

So we keep doing things that get us that approval, safety and love. Even if they don’t feel aligned with who we really are. Get the job, get the partner, the house, the cars, the kids.. and accumulate as much “stuff” as possible to show the world just how important you are.

And throughout it all, the underlying message we are sending to ourselves is that we must fit into the mold that we were given or we won’t be loved, accepted, successful or safe. And worse that being who we actually are simply isn’t good enough

I call bullshit on all of it.

There is no such thing as a “one size fits all” when it comes to who we are. We are all unique beings with unique strengths, gifts and needs. And trying to fit into a mold someone else created for you is like trying to fit into heels that are a size too small just because they “look really good”. If you force your foot into those heels guess what - you are going to be in pain and uncomfortable the whole time you’re wearing them.

The same thing goes for trying to be someone you’re actually not and living your life based on other people’s expectations of you instead of living life based on your own needs and expectations.

At the end of the day, everyone will want you to fit into THEIR vision of you - because that’s what’s familiar to them and feels most comfortable to them. And in some ways, it probably worked well for them so they genuinely believe it’s what will work best for you. And maybe doing it their way DID work well for you at one point.

But do you really want to keep chasing dreams and goals that others created for you? Or do you want to live your own dreams instead? It’s never too late to change directions. And the best way to start is by shedding the desires and expectations others have for you and replacing them with the desires and expectations you have for yourself.

It’s also never too late to start living the life you want or become the person you’ve always wanted to be. All you have to do is be willing to stop being who others need or want you to be, and start being who YOU want and know you’re meant to be.

And the irony of it all is that the more you start showing up for yourself, the easier it becomes to show up for others also.

As always,

Afsheen